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HIV Life >> I Just Tested Positive

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Reged: 08/09/12
Posts: 2
Loc: Beijing, China
Positive and trying hard to be positive about it
      #265377 - 08/09/12 04:23 PM

I just found out I was positive and found this website. I really want to share my story so here it is. I have been getting hiv tests since I was 16 and was always negative. I had unprotected sex a few times but every year the test came back negative. In February 2012 I had unprotected sex with a guy (a guy that my friend slept with before and I shouldn't have slept with). I went to the doctor for regular pap and turns out I had chlamydia and HIV+. I was in shock. I didn't want to believe it. It must be this guy that made me HIV+ right? I really didn't know what to do. I really hoped it was a false positive. I did the blood tests and the cd4 and viral loads showed up so I knew that I was for sure positive and there was no going back. I became crazy I didn't know what to do who to talk to I didn't want anyone to know. I kept it a secret from my family. I finally told them last month. It felt good to release and let my parents and sister in on what was going on (they figured something was up since I had been acting weird). I used to be a very positive person always happy. After learning I was HIV+ , I felt like I wanted to die. That there was nothing to live for and that I would never find a man who loves me or want to marry me and have kids with... I am trying everyday to stay positive. I know there are so many others like me out there and I would really like to talk, make new friends and have some support. My doctor went for vacation but will be coming back soon. I will get the blood tests done again and see if I need to start the medication. How do you all stay positive and have the will to live and fight through this? Please give me any advice you have. PM me if you want to chat more.
Love and hugs, L

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Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1895
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: Positive and trying hard to be positive about it new
      #265406 - 08/10/12 04:30 PM

You start with one day at a time. Then two and then three and before you know it , after understanding that life still goes on each and every day , then you look at the years ahead. And in alot of cases you just sorta forget about it in a strange way and just do what you have to with meds and go live a full happy life. I'm female and have been pos for 20 years. Feel free and comfortable in stopping by anytime you want to talk to another female , especially about the female issues that only another female could understand.

Look up to the Heavens for the answers to Lifes questions .

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