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HIV Life >> I Just Tested Positive

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anton2307
New User

Reged: 05/25/12
Posts: 1
Any advice would be helpful
      #263256 - 05/25/12 05:58 PM

I tested positive a week ago. I've been seeing this absolutely AMAZING guy for about a month now. I was recently tested in March and came back negative. I had no idea I was positive, but unfortunately that is the case and I must deal. What I have to face tomorrow is telling my boyfriend who is currently away visiting his family. He gets back tomorrow and I plan on telling him immediately. I think this is probably scarier than actually finding out I was positive. The reason I am so scared is because the chances of me passing it to him are very high. We have been having unsafe sex since we have been together It's one thing for him to panic and leave me, but it's another thing for him to be positive also. I'm honestly so nervous and scared, I simply do not know how to handle it. I haven't even had time to digest the fact that I'M positive and MY life is changing because I have been so concerned about him and telling him. I love him so much and I don't know if I could live with myself. I also don't want him to abandon me, especially not now when I need him most. I feel like the days to come are going to be dark and lonely. Has anybody been faced with this?!

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kicker
Veteran

Reged: 10/25/10
Posts: 1131
Loc: GA, USA
Re: Any advice would be helpful new
      #263257 - 05/25/12 08:40 PM

Unless you had sex before this bf and after your test my educated guess is you got it from him. Only way to know for sure is to do a genotype and also the normal bloodwork to see who is where. My guess would be your numbers will be higher for viral load than his. (being recently infected) so don't be to hard on yourself before you get all the facts. Also it doesn't matter the who, why, and how. What matters now is what are you gonna do to ensure a long happy healthy life.

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PinupBoy
New User

Reged: 06/01/12
Posts: 4
Loc: San Diego California
Re: Any advice would be helpful new
      #263404 - 06/01/12 05:56 AM

Im sort of in the same boat as you. Im with a guy who is still negative knowing Im positive. he loves me so much, and weve dated, and been together since the end of january. when i told him, he cried, but said it didnt make any sense. i know that special bond of having unprotected sex. For him wearing a condom isn't the same. He still is negative.. and i don't want to infect him either. We tried condoms a million times. I'm not sure what to do anymore myself. I love him so much too.

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riverprincessModerator
Veteran

Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1823
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: Any advice would be helpful new
      #263408 - 06/01/12 08:41 AM

If you truly love him you will always protect him . Remember once the damage is done , it's done. And even if he was pos also you still would need protection from infecting with a different strain. But I do understand , hubby and I are both pos though he is a long term non-progressor.

--------------------
Look up to the Heavens for the answers to Lifes questions .

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DJones
Member

Reged: 04/02/09
Posts: 84
Loc: Milwaukee Wisconsin
Re: Any advice would be helpful new
      #263610 - 06/07/12 01:18 PM

I had to tell my partner of 20 years when I found out I was HIV and had AIDS. We are still together. I started a blog the day I found out I was HIV+. The link is below. You can go back to that date on my blog and go forward and see just what I went through these last few years. Stay strong. I wish you luck. Please email me if you want to talk. I call finding out your HIV+ 'The Biggest Mind Fuck Of My Life'.
Dave

--------------------
http://daveslifelivingwithhiv.blogspot.com/

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brooklynbaseball
New User

Reged: 01/28/10
Posts: 16
Loc: seattle. wa
Re: Any advice would be helpful new
      #263611 - 06/07/12 04:35 PM

Calm down take a breath. You can have it and NOT pass it. When I was diagnosed I was a newly wed and pregnant. I had my Dr tell my husband knowing almost nothing about HIV other than one of my gay friends had it I KNEW if I had it my hubby also had it. Having NEVER had protected sex with him in the 4+ years we'd been together. He tested negative and a few years later I found out one of my exes has HIV.

No one I slept with after him has it.

You might have got it from an ex or your new man. He needs to get tested.

You're going to be okay.

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iam1
Regular

Reged: 06/17/09
Posts: 174
Loc: Georgia
Re: Any advice would be helpful new
      #263619 - 06/07/12 11:55 PM

I realize this response is coming to you nearly 2 weeks after your boyfriend/partner/significant other has gotten back. I'd be interested in hearing how things are going for you.

In reply to your dilema - what kickers said! I know it's only natural to want to find someone to blame for anything that upsets our orderly lives, but in this case it can be very important to his life for him to find out if he's positive. Whether or not from you. That's not the important thing.

You've just found out you've joined a growing, unwanted group of people who are infected with HIV. Congratulations! I'm sorry! (Unwanted in that the people who are infected will almost always wish they weren't.)

For you and for other people who might come along and read this article in the future - there is absolutely nothing wrong with telling a partner in the presence of a 3rd party. Namely someone who is well educated with some of the intricacies of HIV. This is a complicated disease. You know next to nothing about it. You need to be sitting down with a trained professional to get the basics. As does your boyfriend.

I know more than one discordent couple (one HIV+/one HIV-). They function quite well, because they love and care for one another. I hope that's the case with you.

In any case I would strongly recommend an HIV support group. For both of you to attend. Check with your doctor's office when you go to be seen.

Breath. Slowly. In and out. In and out. I hope your boyfriend isn't so shallow to drop you just because you've tested HIV+. You will get through the beginning of this. There is an extremely long road you're going to have to travel. HIV is a long-term, managable disease. With proper medical care you may not progress to a status of AIDS for many years if ever. If you take care of yourself and follow your doctor's (and his staff's) advice you can expect to live a normal life span.

I hope it's a joyous life!

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tcocoa
Member

Reged: 07/19/07
Posts: 46
Re: Any advice would be helpful new
      #263646 - 06/09/12 09:54 PM

I was with my ex husbad for 4+ yrs before I knew I was HIV poz and no he didnt have it. I contracted before I met him. And even after I found out there were alot of times we had unprotected sex because he felt he was my husband and he wanted to and guess what??? He is still negative...now we talking over a 15 yr period. I was also pregnant when I found out and my teenager is healthy and hiv free. So just calm down and think good thoughts and trust me you will be fie with proper medical care and trying to stay healthy. Find a good support system and focus on you for now. I wish you the best.

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thebird1959
Member

Reged: 06/22/12
Posts: 49
Loc: Alabama
Re: Any advice would be helpful new
      #264069 - 06/24/12 09:28 PM

I realize your post is almost a month old, but I'm in a very similiar situation. How did your deal turn out? My partner dropped me like a hot potato at a time when I needed him the most. I think he'll be back. He's just scared and confused at the moment. Fortunately I knew somebody that has been positive for 30 yrs that I could fall back on and got me through the first couple of days after I got the news.

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