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HIV Life >> I Just Tested Positive

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RobertB20
New User

Reged: 09/13/11
Posts: 4
It's Only The Beginning:)
      #262460 - 04/13/12 11:22 AM

When i was Diagnosed i thought my world had ended, my viral load was at 9 million! and my CD4 was at 230 so you can only imagine how i felt. i was already thinking of what song i wanted to have played at my funeral. i was always sad always crying always confused, scared, paranoid and i felt like i was just falling through a downward spiral.

Only 7 months later. And i can honestly say that HIV has been a Blessing! Yea i have to take my meds, and yea i have new Medical bills, and sometimes it can affect my love life. but honestly thats it!

I love my life! since i got diagnosed i realized that life is short and i didnt want to live for nothing and wait til i died. Having HIV gave me the push i needed to get on track. i started eating better and started exercising, i went back to school and worked hard at work. i got counseling and got involved with organizations dealing with HIV. ive made great new friends and realized who my real friends are. i realized how much my family cares about me and how much i care about them. im finally doing things ive always wanted to do like play instruments, learn new languages, and fun projects, and travel and thats only the beginning im doing alot better too 475 CD4 and 1000 viral.

if you got diagnosed recently, understand that your world is not over. life is what you make it. now that your positive have a positive attitude! keep living and if anything do more with your time. when i went to the clinic an older man who had been living with AIDS for 20 years told me that i should stay busy, it keeps you from being depressed about the situation. please have hope and believe you are not in anyway handicap or disabled, YOU ARE NOT DYING FROM HIV, YOU ARE LIVING WITH HIV. you can accomplish anything you want and doing it with HIV should say something about you.

Your Fellow HIV Brother.
Robert.



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Patrick_Ingram
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Reged: 04/11/12
Posts: 10
Re: It's Only The Beginning:) new
      #262468 - 04/13/12 04:49 PM

Well said!

I think we all have to go through the process where we see it as a true blessing. Just like you I saw who my "true friends," were, began to work out and eat right, and work on my most personal and challenging goals. I definitely believe without HIV I would have been just bumming around this thing we called life waiting for the next thing to happen. Now, I actually go out and grab it!

Nice Post ,

Patrick

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riverprincessModerator
Veteran

Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1823
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: It's Only The Beginning:) new
      #262470 - 04/13/12 09:16 PM

When anyone escapes from what looks like the end of the road but then finds out it isn't one usually takes on a new perspective of life. Why it doesn't just come to us without having to go though some ordeals , I don't know . But welcome to what i call the color stage of being pos. The greens are greener . Blues bolder, Yellows brighter. We finally see the gift that we almost lost , and those problems that seemed sooo big are just pesty knats . Sure ther are still some bumps and pot holes on our journey but our step has changed and we thank God above.

--------------------
Look up to the Heavens for the answers to Lifes questions .

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Stillnumb
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Reged: 12/15/11
Posts: 17
Re: It's Only The Beginning:) new
      #262749 - 04/29/12 02:01 AM

I'm 7 months into this as well and I feel the exact same way. am i happy i'm living with hiv - no i'm still pissed about it and i still think about it everyday. BUT its really been the driving factor to give me a kick in the ass and start living. i've always been one of those gay guys that felt totally self conscience. i'm a big guy. i'm clumsy. i don't make friends easily. but finding out i was poz has forced me to say "why" something that after 42 years i shoukd have done before but never did. for the first time i can say that i'm really starting to live. i loved this post robert - thanks for sharing it. i feel the exact same way as you

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Angelito
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Reged: 05/22/12
Posts: 1
Re: It's Only The Beginning:) new
      #263185 - 05/22/12 11:35 PM

Thank you for posting this. I'm recently diagnosed and i like everyone else have my up and down days, but when i read posts like these it gives me more hope and more drive to start doing things i've always wanted to do but never did. It also reassures me that im going to be fine, and that this will be the start of a new and improved life!

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pari
New User

Reged: 08/09/12
Posts: 3
Re: It's Only The Beginning:) new
      #265382 - 08/09/12 01:35 PM

Thank you so much. My life spirit increased after reading your post. I just found out I got HIV 6 months ago. My CD 4 level is only 197, my viral? hey what's that??? I live in Indonesia, and my doctor does not talk about viral. I started a medication a month ago but I stopped. The medicine called efavirenz has a strong side effect. I got hangover & dizzy, and I won't be able to stand up straightly for 12 hours. Can't think properly either.

So would you kindly explain to me, what is viral? and how do you increased your CD4 level? How can people tells they got HIV for ....years. I don't know since when I got HIV. Thank you.



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riverprincessModerator
Veteran

Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1823
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: It's Only The Beginning:) new
      #265407 - 08/10/12 12:43 PM

First may I suggest that you re-post your entry into a more updated section where it will be spotted easier and then you can get much information. You should continue on some sort of medication. If that which you were on doesn't seem to agree with you , you can try taking your meds at night so that you sleep through most of the side effects or askk your doctor about Atripla. Seems like most people that are on it , including myself, find it to well tolerated. But please do get back on meds, it's important , and so are you.

--------------------
Look up to the Heavens for the answers to Lifes questions .

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