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HIV Life >> I Just Tested Positive

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New User

Reged: 03/06/10
Posts: 1
Loc: New York City
I am scared - newly diagnosed
      #249668 - 03/06/10 05:15 PM

I wish I had someone to talk to who has this and who can relate. 4 weeks ago I tested negative and still do. I am in the seroconversion phase. My positive test result was found through a very specific test called HIV B DNA. This test was suggested when I was experiencing a high fever, headache, and fatigue. The day after I found out I went to the local clinic here in NYC and had all my blood work done. While I never wanted this, it's crazy to say, but I feel a bit of solace knowing now. As a gay man, I always worried that one day this could happen. No matter how safe I was - it was ALWAYS a worry on my mind. I guess I am just scared now about the road ahead and what complications may arise - and I am alone in this (well some friends to talk to, but none who can relate). I am glad I was told about this site, and if anyone anywhere in the world who has been newly diagnosed would like to talk - please get in touch with me. Especially if you live in the NYC area. Thanks!!

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New User

Reged: 03/10/10
Posts: 1
Re: I am scared - newly diagnosed new
      #249701 - 03/10/10 03:29 AM

I also had the same test done as you. I've been positive for a month as well. I had head pain, body aches, and fevers/sweats. I understand what you mean about feeling solace. And yes, it's pretty scary. Very. I'm in Los Angeles, sorry, but hope you have been able to talk to someone since your post.

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New User

Reged: 02/26/10
Posts: 5
Re: I am scared - newly diagnosed new
      #249733 - 03/12/10 10:38 AM

Hi LA and NYC guys - I'm in Thailand. 3 weeks ago I found out I was HIV+ Like you I was scared, shocked and confused. I got tons of info from the internet and found this site - I found a good doctor that I'm confortable with and on my 3rd day of ARV - please don't be scared - there are lots of us out there people with HIV living a happy, healthy, productive and long live... so let's stop worrying and let's put our priorities and live in order and be happy.

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New User

Reged: 03/13/10
Posts: 1
Re: I am scared - newly diagnosed new
      #249746 - 03/13/10 03:53 AM

Wow. My own diagnosis wasn't so long ago (7 years) that I don't remember how frightening it still is and how alone in the world it can make you feel. I felt the same way despite having some good friends who were already living their lives with HIV. Didn't matter, I still felt like I was adrift in a rowboat. I'm sorry you are going through it now but you will get through it. Just try not to worry too much, find the best medical care you can from people who treat you well, and above all, limit your time on the internet looking up horror stories or things that can frighten you.

One bright spot for you in all this is that you are in NYC, and there are tons of resources for you and anyone else who is newly diagnosed. There is no need for you to continue to feel all alone. Your LGBT community center can put you in touch with support groups specifically for people that have become HIV+ in the last year or less. When you have a chance to catch your breath and are ready to reach out to more people there are social organizations for HIV+ men. SIN (Strength in Numbers) in NYC is one. In addition there are several medical clinics in NYC that not only offer health care, but most of them can put you in touch with other support groups. There is even a regular yoga class for HIV+ people at the clinic I use.

The important thing for now is for you to make sure you see a doctor regularly, keep your appointments, and get in the habit of taking care of and being kind to yourself. The latest news about HIV+ people that are diagnosed today while still relatively healthy is that with treatment, they will likely enjoy and experience a normal lifespan.

Good luck my friend!

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Reged: 06/18/09
Posts: 304
Loc: Georgia
Re: I am scared - newly diagnosed new
      #249758 - 03/14/10 03:04 AM

I'm going to tell you what I tell everybody - find and attend a support group! You don't have to share at the meeting. You do have to go to see that there are numerous other people very similar to yourself. I won't say "just like you", because you are unique. There is solace in numbers. Not being alone can be such a huge relief mentally.

I first tested positive more than 20 years ago. At the time there were no support groups. If you think people hide their status now you should have seen then. There were no meds. No real treatments. (It's scary what people did try to do to slow or stop this disease....) No clinics to go to for help. No case managers. No housing programs. I think you're seeing the picture here.

As bad as you think it is for you now, you have it relatively good. As good as it can be having a longterm disease.

I'm not telling you this to try to one-up-you but instead to try to give you some insight into the way things were. It's important to know where this disease has been to know where it's going.

I'm not going to lie to you. It isn't a cake walk dealing with HIV. There are going to have to be some changes made to your life. Being that you're newly diagnosed chances are you're years away from starting treatment. But, better to start seeing a doctor now instead of waiting until you're sick on your deathbed.

In the meantime what should you do? I'd recommend living. So many people I see who find out they're HIV+ basically shut down. Don't let this happen to you. There is no reason why you can't get out and go to work 5, 6, or 7 days a week. Depending on your job. Take care of yourself. Live healthily.

HIV will be a big part of your life, but don't let it control your life.

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New User

Reged: 03/15/10
Posts: 4
Re: I am scared - newly diagnosed new
      #249768 - 03/15/10 06:32 PM

Hello NiceguyNYC.
I hope this message finds you well, and I want you to know that you will be okay. When I first found out about my status, I was angry, sad, confused and depress for a long time, specially because I did not have anyone to tell and because the person who infected me was the love of my life. I am not going to lied and tell you that its going to be easy but it gets better. And It gets better when you share with others your experience and realize that you are not alone, many like you, are going thru the same situation, just continue respecting and loving yourself. I am in the same situation as you, looking for support and friendship from other + people. NYC has a lot of good resouces centers for our community, I dont live there, but I have visited NY many times. Just make sure to take some time for yourself, take your meds and realize that you are not alone. Make sure to love yourself, and feel free to write here anytime, if you want my personal emial, we could also chat or email each other.
I wish you all the happines in the world.

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