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Family and Friends >> My Loved One Has HIV/AIDS

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candicane112
Newbie

Reged: 04/24/14
Posts: 1
My cousin has AIDS
      #276060 - 04/24/14 01:19 AM

My cousin told me about a month ago that he is HIV +. We do not live in the same city, but we speak very often. Some of the symptoms that he was telling me about didn't seem right. I am HIV -, but I've volunteered with AIDS patients for the last 15 years. I am very familiar with the symptoms. I've told him for the last 2 years to get tested and he said that he did. He either lied or kept his results a secret. Don't get me wrong that is his choice. My issues is that he allowed the disease to progress without treatment and almost died. I really feel like he was trying to kill himself. He'd been telling us that he was going to the doctor to get help, but it turns out he was going to a dermatologist for various skin infections brought on by the disease.

He's now on meds, but as you can imagine he's in pretty rough shape. He is my favorite cousin and we are more like brother and sister. I didn't feel any differently towards him when he told me his diagnosis. I was happy he'd finally been diagnosed and would be receiving proper medical care. And I was determined to be there for him.

Last week he came up for a week long visit. Let me just say it was complete hell. He is worse off than I thought and he is not very clean. His skin is peeling. I mean big chunks just falling off and he has many open ulcers that he tries to cover with bandages. His skin was all over the house, his bloody bandages were everywhere and the sheets and covers were covered with skin and blood. I have a small child and my concern was her coming in contact with his bodily fluids. I talked to him about it and he apologized, but it didn't get any better.

I feel awful because I don't want him to feel like I'm turning my back on him, but I feel like he' not welcome back in my home unless he can be cleaner. He told me he felt like I didn't love him because he was sick. I told him that's not it, but I was scared to come in contact with his blood. And because he was so unclean I kept my distance.

Also I am getting married soon and my fiance does not know my cousins diagnosis. He asked me if he was HIV + and I told him no (we don't live together so he was not at risk). I'm not a liar. but that is not my place to tell. I know he will not respond positively to the news.

I don't know what to do. Plus I am pissed at my cousin for not getting tested and treated sooner and for the way he treated my household. How do I process all of this.

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riverprincessModerator
Moderator

Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1738
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: My cousin has AIDS new
      #276082 - 04/27/14 05:18 PM

To hold onto anger for something that should of been is like kicking a dead horse. You can't turn back the clock . But you can talk to him about your concerns about his skin. Has it even been checked for scorica carsenoma( spell is off , I know ) but it seems that men are more prone to this. And when left untreated it is unsightly and like you said it is oozing blood and most likly some pus. It does not sound like he has seen any dermatologist. Most likly another lie. But perhaps you can sencourage him by going to the dr and counselor with him and for yourself also. He needs help for sure , and seems your the one he goes to . I do wish you the best hon. PM me if you want to talk some more about this.

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jamieharris
Newbie

Reged: 06/04/14
Posts: 7
Re: My cousin has AIDS new
      #276512 - 06/05/14 10:41 AM

Sorry to hear that, Hope all gets better with him

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codered
Newbie

Reged: 08/09/14
Posts: 1
Re: My cousin has AIDS new
      #277586 - 08/09/14 06:18 AM

My father's had AIDS for years now. His body's remained strong enough to fight the disease, but I still worry, day and night.

Please try to stay strong.

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KangMousir
Newbie

Reged: 08/15/14
Posts: 1
Loc: Jawa Barat
Re: My cousin has AIDS new
      #277699 - 08/15/14 03:49 AM

i don't know, how to hrlp

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