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Family and Friends >> My Loved One Has HIV/AIDS

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Sunshine87
Member

Reged: 09/29/12
Posts: 20
MY BROTHER ...
      #267473 - 09/30/12 07:26 AM

HI im Sunshine and i just found out that my brother was HIV+ he was unable to tell me due to fear i would turn my back! SORRY but thats not ME! i love HIM and this will bring us even closer then before i found out Friday Nite the 28th of Sept and im ready for this new journey. and i would love to start a blog so that you all can come along with me on the Journey some may call LIFE ive been crying everyday all day all nite and i need HELP i need YOU all !

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kicker
Moderator

Reged: 10/25/10
Posts: 1131
Loc: GA, USA
Re: MY BROTHER ... new
      #267476 - 09/30/12 07:49 AM

I think it's great that you are supportive of your brother and a lot of people would be lucky if they had a sister like you. That said I feel that you are losing sight of whose journey this really is.

This isn't your journey, if your brother hadn't told you you probably wouldn't be here. There is nothing wrong with seeking out support for yourself, but don't lose sight of who this is really about your brother. He told you looking for support and because he needs you. Otherwise he would've had no incentive which is why he didn't tell you sooner.

It's ok to cry and be upset, but at the end of the day you were invited through him telling you that he is positive to join him on his journey. Reach out for support so you can support him, but make it about him.

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Sunshine87
Member

Reged: 09/29/12
Posts: 20
Re: MY BROTHER ... new
      #267477 - 09/30/12 08:04 AM

I thank YOU ! i never once said its my Journey @ KICKER i understand 100% that his life has changed but MINE has also! i will never loose sight of whose Journey this really is WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER...... 6yrs my brother held this to himself "depressed" thinking my family would not be there for him// i have been buy his side since the 1st time he went to hospital never knew that this what was going on! we all know the Dr. couldnt tell Me unless my brother wanted that. IVE been right by his SIDE and im still these since the day i found out i told him WE are in the together and im NOT going anywhere i have not been to my apt in 3 days i will contunie to stay with him if thats what he wants! the type of relationship me and him has is so more then just my brother he is my best-friend an to know that he went so long with telling anyone THATS HARD for me ITS HARD but i thank you !

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pataguayo111
Newbie

Reged: 10/26/12
Posts: 3
Loc: Texas
Re: MY BROTHER ... new
      #268645 - 10/27/12 02:30 AM

Im in!

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MobileBayGay
Newbie

Reged: 11/01/12
Posts: 8
Loc: Mobile, Alabama
Re: MY BROTHER ... new
      #268755 - 11/01/12 03:36 PM

It's hard to find out that someone you love has been diagnosed with HIV. It's frightening because they are dealing with issues of possible abandonment, judgement, fear for their health and future and what this means for both, and I have found that in far too many cases unfortunately, part of the reaction is based on a lack of accurate information on the disease and treatment. There are still so many people who view this disease as it was first perceived, because the mainstream media largely left it there.

The best thing for both of you to do is get the crying out of your system - that's normal - and then dive in head-first into accurate information about the disease and treatment. Things you know and are informed about are far less frightening than the stranger at the door. As you do this, I'm am convinced you will discover that many of the fears you are reeling from right now will be calmed.

While incurable today, it's now a treatable disease. For people who learn as much as they can and seek the proper treatment, they will eventually see that while it can be a pain in the ass to deal with, it doesn't have to be life-ending or life-changing accept in terms of being more responsible in regards to their health than most people are.

Be strong for your brother. Cry in private. Smile and be confident when you're with him. He needs someone to make him feel that life will be ok and normal. He doesn't need to see his loved ones validating his own fears through their own emotional breakdowns and uninformed insecurities. This isn't a death or a funeral, where misery loves company. The misery he's currently experiencing needs to feel strong shoulders and see confident expectation that if properly treated, everything will be ok.

If you need a strong shoulder to prop up yours, find you're own.

Read. Study. Be proactive. Take control together and do what needs to be done together. Move actively forward. The more sure steps you both take in that direction, the better and more hopeful I know you'll both feel.

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