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Family and Friends >> My Loved One Has HIV/AIDS

Pages: 1
Obvious1
Newbie

Reged: 03/12/12
Posts: 2
Newly diagnosed HIV+ BF and me Negative
      #261802 - 03/13/12 01:34 AM

In January My boyfriend of 4 yrs, and father of our daughter whom is 2, was diagnosed HIV+. A little history. In March of 09, he was diagnosed with Hep B. 3 months prior to that he had a tattoo cover up from a friend in his home. The Drs. feel he may have contracted Hep B from the tattoo. Fast forward to January of this yr and he went to the Dr for stomach pain and was diagnosed with Gallstones, and they wanted to run a HIV test if agreed and he did and came back Positive. His RNA PCR copies on 1/26 were 38463, then on 3/1 after starting treatment 943.
His CD4 on 1/26 was 27 and on 3/1 was 24. CD4+ 1/26 372, and 3/1 610.
He is feeling great. The first week on the treatment of Atripla he had side effects that drove him crazy but now he doing wonderful.
I have been negative and get tested yearly. besides in 09 while I was pregnant I was tested 2xs. All negative. I will get another test again next month just to be on the safe side, per Drs. order..
My concern now is the future. I am so confused if I can continue my life with this man knowing he is positive. As for now I love him and want to be there for support. We have talked about this and he has days where he feels he should just walk away and let me find someone else. I think of this sometimes too but we have a good relationship and we do have a child together. I could use advice or insite on those who are negative or with a negative partner and how you go about everything. The Dr. told me its still really risky to have sex. I have been scared to do so even with protection. Then there are days where I think we will protect ourselves, and if I get it, I get it. I think I need therapy lol

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riverprincessModerator
Moderator

Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1738
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: Newly diagnosed HIV+ BF and me Negative new
      #261803 - 03/13/12 08:49 AM

Hey Obvious, Clearly you love this man ALOT. Don't let his Hiv status freak you out. There are many " mixed " couples today. You r chances of catching this nothing if you use the necessary protocol. And you sound like your smart enough and I'm sure he is too. As for how things will be down the road , No one knows , pos or not. That is where love, faith and comitment come in to be. Just enjoy your lives together , be responsibile and love each other and life to the fullest. If you need to talk more privately just pm me. I've been pos for over 20 years and on meds for 17 . Hubby has been pos same years but never meds, go figure. My best friends bf was pos , she was neg and they stayed together till he passed due to other complications . And she would give her right arm to still have him around . Trust your love for each other dear. It is a precious thing.

--------------------
Look up to the Heavens for the answers to Lifes questions .

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RunningScared
Newbie

Reged: 06/21/09
Posts: 9
Re: Newly diagnosed HIV+ BF and me Negative new
      #261817 - 03/13/12 07:41 PM

Hang in there. My husband was diagnosed almost 3 years ago. We thought our world was falling apart. We were trying to start a family, so I was really surprised when I repeatedly tested negative (and still do today). At the time I thought our hopes of having our own children were over, but we are now in the process of IVF since technology is available to wash sperm to ensure the disease it not transmittted.

Love will carry you through. My husband wanted out on several occasions early on because he was afraid to get me sick. Being educated about the disease will help you to feel more comfortable, and help to move you beyond your fears.

If you practice safe sex your chances of getting infected are very low. I'm proof of that, and so are many of the wonderful resources you will meet/find on this site.

Keep your head up. The two of you will make it.

Good luck.

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riverprincessModerator
Moderator

Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1738
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: Newly diagnosed HIV+ BF and me Negative new
      #261832 - 03/14/12 09:26 AM

That is wonderful Running scared! I am sooo glad that you and hubby stuck together . Continue to encourage those that think having a spouse and family is over. I wish you and yours a blessed life . Just shows that HIV doesn't conquer our lives .

--------------------
Look up to the Heavens for the answers to Lifes questions .

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DJones
All Star

Reged: 04/02/09
Posts: 84
Loc: Milwaukee Wisconsin
Re: Newly diagnosed HIV+ BF and me Negative new
      #261835 - 03/14/12 09:43 AM

I was diagnosed three years ago with AIDS. My partner of 23 years has been by my side the entire journey. I could not have made it to today if it were not for his support. Hang in there. I started a blog the day I found out I was HIV. The link is below. I am very honest with what we have gone through daily.

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http://daveslifelivingwithhiv.blogspot.com/

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Obvious1
Newbie

Reged: 03/12/12
Posts: 2
Re: Newly diagnosed HIV+ BF and me Negative new
      #261853 - 03/15/12 02:15 AM

Thank you! I will continue this relationship. I am happy I have joined here and hopefully my BF will too. He is not ready to talk about it with anyone. And thats fine. But me on the other hand felt coming online would be good for me since this is something I cant talk to friends or family about. I dont want to be judged. And they dont need to know.

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riverprincessModerator
Moderator

Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1738
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: Newly diagnosed HIV+ BF and me Negative new
      #261866 - 03/15/12 06:22 PM

Soooo glad your staying with your BF. Your lives tgether will be fine. There may be some challenges , but that's how it is with any relationship. To think what you would of went through had you both decided it would be better to part ways, well that is crazy. What a nightmare that would of been. And I'm sure you realize that now yourself. Do you and your BF have a spiritual belief? I hve found that it was the thing that truly has guidedmy hubby and myself through many issues. Girl I would love to share what they were with you at another time , if that's ok with you. I know you will gain strength from the insight. As for your man , give him time. Get some literture for yourself , start to gain knowledge and he will follow. Knowledge is powerful. It erases fears. You both have beautiful child , and many years to be , reassure your man. He's gotten over the worse part. Now to continue to be the loving couple you always were. You can pm me anytime you want to talk.

--------------------
Look up to the Heavens for the answers to Lifes questions .

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Lovinlost
Newbie

Reged: 11/09/12
Posts: 3
Re: Newly diagnosed HIV+ BF and me Negative new
      #268896 - 11/09/12 10:08 PM

Hey there, I have been with my bf for 7 years now and he was diagnosed in July of 2010, since then we have had a lot of changes and struggles I can tell u that because of love I have stayed and with medications and protected sex I have remained negative. I too am worried of what the future holds but we take one day at a time and try our best to give each other the support and love we both need. My bf is terrified of me getting sick but we have both educated ourselves and made sure that we use protection and with the medications his viral load is undetectable. Love is a powerful thing and it's in our time of need that we truly realize what matters to us. I hope all the best for u and your family keep ur head up. I go with him to his doctors appointments each time so I know what's going on with him and I get tested every 3 months, it's the scariest 3 minutes of my life each time I won't lie to u I have thought about leaving too and he has thought we would be better off not together as well but each time we have tried to end it we hold each other full of tears and know we are right where we belong. I hope that u have seen that in ur husband and in ur family, it's ok to feel the way you do but don't lose hope there are a lot of us out there in the same boat just trying to stay afloat. If u need to talk just message me anytime

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