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BeautifulMusik
Newbie

Reged: 01/03/11
Posts: 3
Loc: New York, NY
I am in love with an HIV positive man...
      #253803 - 01/04/11 07:10 PM

I have been friends with a guy for over two years now. There has always been chemistry but, I enjoy him so much that I didn't want to change anything about our friendship. This September, I told him I was in love with him from the first moment I looked into his eyes. And, he tears up and tells me that he is HIV +. I tear up and he cries and rests his head on my chest. I told him that I am not leaving his side as I have not done since we met. How do I get him to see that I love him above it all, no matter if he has HIV? He seems to feel undeserving of my love. How do I combat those feelings being that I am negative? Hope one in love...

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Soloandlonely
Newbie

Reged: 01/05/11
Posts: 6
Re: I am in love with an HIV positive man... new
      #253806 - 01/05/11 09:11 AM

Hi Dear,

i feel you and completely understand, I'm in a similar situation.

My boyfriend and I broke for a few months and when we got back together we went and got tested and he tested +ve and I'm -ve..

I still love him and I sometimes get down and scared for my own health but I know I have to be strong for him.

I tell him daily how much I love and how I will be there for him whole heartedly.

just keep on loving him unconditionally and he will learn to see ur relationship through your eyes.

Much Love.

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bartlebyAdministrator
Admin

Reged: 01/19/10
Posts: 660
Re: I am in love with an HIV positive man... new
      #253810 - 01/05/11 01:53 PM

hi there. it seems to me the problem is not his status, but his insecurities. though it stands to reason that it could be his status that causes insecurities. in any case, magnetic relationships are just like any other relationships. as long as there's nothing stopping you guys from being together, then just be together.

don't overthink or dramatize it. just learn and practice HIV prevention methods and enjoy each other's company.

--------------------
Bartleby at The Body
Bulletin Board Administrator

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BeautifulMusik
Newbie

Reged: 01/03/11
Posts: 3
Loc: New York, NY
Re: I am in love with an HIV positive man... new
      #253823 - 01/07/11 02:35 PM

Thank you. I am starting to think that too. Blessings to you and Happy New Year.

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BeautifulMusik
Newbie

Reged: 01/03/11
Posts: 3
Loc: New York, NY
Re: I am in love with an HIV positive man... new
      #253824 - 01/07/11 02:37 PM

I thank you and it is good to know that I am not the only one trying to love someone who thinks they should not be loved because of their status or anything else... Blessings! And Happy New Year

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new2serodisco
Member

Reged: 01/12/11
Posts: 15
Loc: Australia
Re: I am in love with an HIV positive man... new
      #253898 - 01/13/11 04:16 PM

I am in a similar situation. I feel my boyfriend hates himself for several reasons (including his status) and has mentioned he sometimes goes to the dark place (if you get my drift). I've pointed out that he hates himself but he denies this. I just keep showing him love, tell him I love him, show him some romance, make love with him (safely excluding condom breakages) etc. but it is still hard with all his barriers. He thinks I am scaird of the virus even though he has an undetectable viral load. He believes due to this he can't infect me but I have been told there is still a risk as the virus can be hidden in parts of the body. He used the you don't trust me and you don't need to be on medication (after a condom breakage) as another barrier between us but I am still there and tell him I love him.

He asked a few times "who am I" as I get through some of his defences, and recently I replied with "the man that will love you if you let me", he said to stop talking about x's (which we both do) and I replied with, "why as you have an x on my heart", I recently txt him and said "your eyes light up my soul and your cheeky grin melts my heart", the latest break through was me calling him bub during our love making.

So many defences that need to be broken down with love.

Good luck

edited to update. This morning he ended it.

Edited by new2serodisco (01/14/11 09:43 PM)

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