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discreetwhitney2
New User

Reged: 04/02/14
Posts: 3
Pos and just found out I was pregnant
      #276521 - 06/05/14 08:17 PM

Hello everyone I've posted on here before but most of the time just read a lot of the post. Well I wanted to confide in someone I'm so confused and scared I just found out I was pregnant and just don't know what to do. I don't wanna have a baby and my baby have to go threw what I'm going threw I don't have any kinds I just feel like why now out of all the time I wanted a baby I'm 27 years old and have been pos for about a year. I wanted to know is anybody going threw what I'm going threw now being pregnant I'm 6 weeks today I really been considering getting a abortion I'm just stressed out

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woundedrhymes
Member

Reged: 01/21/14
Posts: 64
Loc: Toronto
Re: Pos and just found out I was pregnant new
      #276523 - 06/05/14 08:51 PM

Hey discreetwhitney2, I don't really know what to say but I hope you're hanging in there. Do you have any close family members/friends/your babydaddy who you can talk to about this? Have you thought about talking to a councilor or someone at the sexual health clinic? I'm sure that whatever you choose to do will be the right decision for you, but perhaps saying that you don't wanna have a baby says it all.

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anotherday
Regular

Reged: 05/15/13
Posts: 488
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Re: Pos and just found out I was pregnant new
      #276524 - 06/05/14 09:50 PM

Whitney ... stop and give some consideration to the baby first, it is very possible to carry a baby full term and not pass HIV onto them. It is necessary to go to your doctor and ID doctor and start a treatment program for you and the baby.

If you do not want to raise the baby, keep in mind there are alot of people ready to raise a child through adoption. Babies with HIV or not, birth defects, fetal alcohol syndrome ... can always be given wonderful adoptive homes. An abortion is just such a horrible waste, talk to a councellor, family planning and your medical team ... they can help guide you!

Always know that when a baby is born with HIV, diabetes, deformaties ... they adapt to that as being their normal ... your baby will not be "going through what your going through" ... because there would be no reference to a previous verses who they are. As time goes on, caring for HIV is just going to get easier, look how it's progressed in the past 20 years ... by the time your baby is your age, HIV might be treated like a common cold (we pray anyway).

Give your situation some thought, talk to some professionals and don't take a drastic measure until you have exhausted every avenue!

--------------------
anotherday ... in paradise!
daily ponder ... be the reason someone smiles today!

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kicker
Veteran

Reged: 10/25/10
Posts: 1131
Loc: GA, USA
Re: Pos and just found out I was pregnant new
      #276526 - 06/05/14 10:11 PM

What a major life decision, and surely not one that should be left up to an online poll of opinions. After all ultimately it's your decision to make. Just know whatever you decide you will always have support.

While you are deciding, take a few minutes and read through this section: http://www.thebody.com/content/art44411.html

In it you will find stories and facts about others who have been where you are. Then speak with your doctor, ask questions, tell them what your fears/concerns are and then make an educated decision based on that not someone's opinion of what you should or shouldn't do. After all you are the one who has to live with your decision.

Again we are here to support you no matter what, so take the time you need to gather information and talk with the ones directly involved. Good luck, I know you will make the best possible choice for you.

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iam1
Regular

Reged: 06/17/09
Posts: 174
Loc: Georgia
Re: Pos and just found out I was pregnant new
      #276546 - 06/07/14 07:48 AM

MAZEL TOV!

I'm not Jewish, but that best expresses my sentiments.

So, you're pregnant. You sound like you're not sure this is a good or bad thing. Right now it's just a thing. You have the power within you to go one way or the other. (I'm a man. I should have very little direct input into whether or not you have an abortion.)

Having a child is a huge step in responsibility. Many people who take it aren't ready. Most people don't consider the work involved and won't ever be ready. Not even when their child turns 18 and goes out on the world on their own.

(Assuming you're posting from the USA)

Today babies born to HIV+ mothers have no need to be HIV+. There are safe treatments for the mother to prevent this. And, safer delivery methods. This is something you HAVE to discuss with your HIV care providers now!

Should you or shouldn't you? This is a question only you can answer for yourself. You have to be fully informed as to the options either way. When you discuss this with someone they should be there to offer their support no matter what your decision.

If HIV is the only determining factor I can tell you it shouldn't be. People with HIV live long lives. You're 27 now. You can expect to live well into your 50's or 60's (possibly longer) with proper care. You have to take care of yourself first. If you can do that now than you can probably do that for a baby, too.

If having the baby on your own is the determining factor it shouldn't be. There are a whole host of programs for new mothers of any age. People have babies everyday. Single mother's have babies everyday.

If you do abort can you become pregnant again? (Shouldn't you be having safe sex?) There are ways for an HIV+ woman to become pregnant safely, too.

Never let anyone tell you that you should do something you don't want to do. If you want to terminate the pregnancy you're getting close to the end time to do so. If you want to have the baby you need to start treatment to protect the baby. Try to not let the stress of being pregnant affect your decision.

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riverprincessModerator
Veteran

Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1823
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: Pos and just found out I was pregnant new
      #276608 - 06/09/14 08:28 PM

What and all I can tell you is based on my experience and my surrounding situation at that time which mind you was 22years ago . I come from a family where my sisters were at some point all single moms. Lot'sa of yelling and screaming at he kids.Secondly I never really wanted children, I admit I was too selfish for children but on the other hand many have children for selfish reasons. I was an active herion addict in and out of jail. Then I found myself pregnate for the first time at 35 yrs old. And Hiv pos. My mother in law didn't want a baby in her house where we were living. MY father suggested having it " taken care of " so yousee no encouragement from anywhere. So I sought but could not afford an abortion. So I accepted this fate. I was sent to a specialist due to my age and possible complications , dr was shocked that Hiv wasn't the primary concern. Oh let me say that at that time 20 + years ago prego women couldn't take meds. Well back to specialist , I was 2 days left for a legal termination. Now it wasn't going to cost. From there I was sent to hospital which is a whole different chapter. My reason to this story , truly look within , search your heart. I belive mine came from Devine Intervention. If you heard the rest of the story you'd know why. Please don't ask me if I would do differently if I could turn the clock back. My life style was a big factor, and no happy encouragement from others/ I was a lost woman that didn't want this son, yes it was a boy, to suffer because of me. Look at your own life story, then see the babys life story , and pray about it . Pm me dear if you want /need to talk more.

--------------------
Look up to the Heavens for the answers to Lifes questions .

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