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Bensgirlfriend2
Newbie

Reged: 10/08/12
Posts: 4
Cant deal sometimes!! Rant
      #268095 - 10/14/12 03:56 PM

Pulling my hair out, and thinking recklessly, but thank god for this site, so I cant just vent...HIV is just a disease its not the personality of a person, its not because a person is bad,mean, or deserves it, Its just a Dayum Disease i.e Cancer, Diabetes, etc.. I don't understand why people don't understand that.

I have had 1 great friend for 18-years, and 2 others for less of the time, we had done just about any and everything together, one is the godparent of my daughters. Since I became positive everything has changed, my longtime friend has a newborn and her husband isn't comfortable with me being around the baby (who told her to tell her husband anyway!!!) so since she is a new mother most of her time is spent with her newborn of course, I just recently found out that the other 2 friends spent this weekend away (girls weekend) something we used to all do together and I wasnt invited..YES I called and asked why I wasn't told and the answer was, "well we didnt think you would be well enough to attend" Isnt that my decision?... I have been + for 4 years, My VL is undetectable my CD4 is over 600 I work a 9 to 5 care for my daughters, Im not an in a wheelchair or stricken with some deadly POX or something...Im just sick of it..and tired of hearing the excuses people are making Just because HIV/AIDS has a face on it for them now..MINE!!!...WIll this ever end? WIll my family stop looking at me Like I disappointed them?...My cheating husband of 9 years gave this disease to me,,I didn't walk down the HIV block in my HOOD and say heyyyy how you doing? sick of tired of the sick and tired things people say and do.really I am!!..So wanting too stand on top of my ROOF and Yell at everyone...IM HIV + when was the last time YOU were tested? bc my HUSBAND was A CHEATING WHORE!!..now leave me alone!!..but I cant or wont fear Ill be evicted or some sort..:(..Just tired and feeling like why even bother as long as people think HIV is the worst disease ever that just helps them feel better about themselves ...I guess?

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riverprincessModerator
Moderator

Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1659
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: Cant deal sometimes!! Rant new
      #268097 - 10/14/12 09:08 PM

Sounds like you have an opportunity to educate some people. Don't see their behavior as an obstical but turn it into an opportunity . They obviously just don't have a clue, so tell them. Keep your fustrated anger in check and start giving Lessons in AIDS 101. If they are friend then you should be able to tell them what being Hiv isn't. And if need be let them know that their not understanding what its about hurt you. Teach them.

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kicker
Moderator

Reged: 10/25/10
Posts: 1016
Loc: GA, USA
Re: Cant deal sometimes!! Rant new
      #268103 - 10/14/12 09:37 PM

I will trade you problems any day of the week. Retards for positive test results on biopsies. Not saying my problems are worse than yours but putting my foot up someone's ass to make sure their butt doesn't damage my door and finding new friends that won't be passive aggressive asses. By far easier to deal with.

Just putting it into perspective.

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familyfirst
Regular

Reged: 06/05/12
Posts: 45
Loc: tulsa ok
Re: Cant deal sometimes!! Rant new
      #268104 - 10/14/12 10:56 PM

many, no most of you all have been pos a lot longer than i have, and yes it frustraits me how people act and or change around you, we all here have gone through it and will always go through it unless we teach every person in the world about it. this is quickly becomeing the only place i feel like im normal like i can be myself and no body cares, we are a family and we all love and care for eachother we have to because until the world changes some days we are we have. love your hiv brother

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notinterested
All Star

Reged: 09/07/11
Posts: 127
Re: Cant deal sometimes!! Rant new
      #268106 - 10/15/12 12:02 AM

The simple and honest truth is that there is still a huge stigma out there on HIV. Even my own HIV doctor brushed me off when I asked him to do an AIDS walk and I think the only reason is that he doesn't want to be publicly associated with the disease. You can either deal with this in two ways. Wear it on your sleeve, and use it to educate people and try and make a difference or don't tell ANYONE about it. I've chosen not to tell anyone and I'm happy with the decision. It's my choice and that's how I've chosen to deal with. The negative side of that, is I lose out on getting possible support from family and friends but your post is an example of how that can backfire. When you disclose and hope things won't change, it does. I've read many stories on here where poz people have disclosed and family and friends really came together and nothing changed but that's a risk and one that I won't take. I'm sorry for your situation. There are good people out there and I would try and make some new friends. I would seriously think though if you feel it's worth disclosing. It's sad that we have to make that choice.

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sevillana86
Newbie

Reged: 10/21/12
Posts: 1
Re: Cant deal sometimes!! Rant new
      #268430 - 10/21/12 10:22 AM

Unfortunately people can be really cruel. In the case of your friends their attitudes may have something to do with their lack of education on the subject. Maybe not. I agree with riverprincess: this could be an educational opportunity. Now i don't know if your friends are that important to you to even bother. With friends like that, who needs enemies?
I believe you have to be very careful about disclosure. Some people are just not ready to hear it or accept it (except your partner, of course, for obvious reasons). Hang in there.

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