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Reged: 10/17/11
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Worried about criminal prosecution PLEASE help
      #258562 - 10/17/11 03:57 PM

I just told someone who I had unprotected sex with about 24 hours ago that I am positive and she is freaking out, I am very worried about being prosecuted. Couple things:
I live in NYC
I didn't cum/orgasm
I asked her for a condom and she didn't provide one
I am undetectable
I have had it for about 6 months

I really really hope that she doesn't press charges, and that she doesn't get infected but right now she is panicking and telling me things like "my life is over" and "you stole my life from me,"

I really screwed up, I know that. That is the first unprotected sex I've had since I found out, and I know it was selfish. I just couldnt bare to tell her after knowing her for only a week, as I was afraid she'd look at me differently. What can I do in this situation and what should I be prepared for? Is it possible that I will get arrested? What will happen if she presses charges? I looked at the NY law on the Positive Justice manual, and it's pretty vague....

One last thing --- she is a good and kind person, from what I have gathered from getting to know her. I don't think she would try to prosecute me and I'm thinking she is only panicking right now, but I"m still EXTREMELY concerned right now...

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Reged: 03/08/07
Posts: 342
Re: Worried about criminal prosecution PLEASE help new
      #258564 - 10/17/11 06:51 PM

being ny state does have a record for prosecuting these types of cases, i sugjest you speak to a lawyer now.

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Reged: 06/27/08
Posts: 175
Re: Worried about criminal prosecution PLEASE help new
      #258572 - 10/18/11 10:50 AM

I personally don't believe anything you have written, you created a case senario to stir contraversy

How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits Hes lost

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Reged: 01/19/10
Posts: 660
Re: Worried about criminal prosecution PLEASE help new
      #258575 - 10/18/11 08:57 PM

don't freak out. while it only takes one encounter, the chances are slim that she was infected, especially if you have an undetectable viral load.

personally, i don't believe she should be able to press any charges since it is her responsibility to protect herself. what if you hadn't know or didn't disclose? still, having said that, a lot of laws surrounding HIV are outdated, so you should check with lambda legal,, or hiv law and policy,

and also, if she thinks her life is over, then she needs to educate herself on HIV.

Bartleby at The Body
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Reged: 01/21/10
Posts: 2
Re: Worried about criminal prosecution PLEASE help new
      #258666 - 10/23/11 12:08 AM

I can understand totally what you are going through. This happened to me Just a month ago. I was with a Male friend we had been drinking and things just got out of control and had unprotected sex. I had never done this before.. When I told him I was HIV positive the look in his eyes scared me. He told me I was disgusting and he couldn't stand the site of me. Granted I hurt him and he is scared. I have tried to talk to him but with no response but do not talk to me ever again. It has been so hard for me and the guilt is so great.. I tried to explain to him that my viral load is undetectable and my count is over 1,000. But he doesn't understand he is uneducated and he is acting like he is going to die.. I have struggled with this for over a month and the reason I didn't say anything is because I really liked the guy.. Had I made him wear a condom maybe things would have been different but I never will know. The fear off being turned away from someone because of HIV really fucked up my situation..I will never again do this, I am learning the hard way.. I guess I have to disclose no matter what and what happens, happens rejection or acceptance we will see when the time comes..
So now he is being tested and is waiting. My only concern is if he has never been tested before how does he not know he didn't have it to begin with. Then it will be all my fault. I don't know if he will ever tell me what his test results are but I guess that is up to him.

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Reged: 06/22/10
Posts: 119
Re: Worried about criminal prosecution PLEASE help new
      #258779 - 11/01/11 03:52 PM


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Reged: 02/19/07
Posts: 541
Re: Worried about criminal prosecution PLEASE help new
      #258791 - 11/02/11 08:37 PM

it is always best to disclose. I have been positive for over 6 years, I currently am dating a negative guy, who knows my status and we also know how to protect ourself from this scenario. Love is hard to find, don't mess it up by telling lies. Good luck, D

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Reged: 11/12/09
Posts: 28
Loc: seattle, WA
Re: Worried about criminal prosecution PLEASE help new
      #258808 - 11/06/11 01:16 AM

I'm really sad that this is happening to you. I wish society was more acepting of people making mistakes as it relates to hiv+ induviduals. It depends on NY's law each state is differtnt regarding HIV intent to harm cases there is a website that lists this info and you can try contacting the aclu for legal advice check it out I hope this helps

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