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wonderbread
Newbie

Reged: 02/01/09
Posts: 3
Just over a year being HIV +...
      #248834 - 12/20/09 10:46 AM

Well I found out at the end of 2008 that I was HIV+. Since then my CD4 have been around 1000 and my viral load just under 5000 (as of September 09). I am a very lucky guy to have cought it so early on un like so many who don't find out untill much later and more symptems start to appaere. I really haven't talked about it with anyone and have just botled it up. I have told some friends and family but that's about it. I have tried to talk to some friends about it but they can't relate to it and don't realy want to talk about it either (oh "that" as some refer to it). I guess I need to be more proactive in finding a support group and start dealing with it.

Since finding out I have more less shut down. In the early part of this year I kind of went on spending spree and racked up an ungodly amount of dept. I guess it was my way of dealing with it or avoiding it. Somthing to fill the void. I have also been drinking alot too and just trying to numb my self. Though drink has been a problem for me before but more so now as it will greatly impact my health and my desease. Thier are other issues in my life that I need to deal with and I guess over the last years it just becoming more apparent to me and how the drinking is making it wors. I guess I just need to make some decision about what I want to do from here. Keep living they way I am or go out side my comfort zone and make some posative changes. any ways till the next time.....

Wonderbread

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Rollins
Newbie

Reged: 12/27/09
Posts: 10
Re: Just over a year being HIV +... new
      #248906 - 12/27/09 06:43 PM

Hello, I too found out in the end of last year that I was positive. It has been a terrible year for me, but I am adjusting. My CD4 and VL has been the same as yours. I wanted to ask if you or anyone else has been having issues with skin rashes?

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estanoche
Newbie

Reged: 09/25/09
Posts: 5
Re: Just over a year being HIV +... new
      #248916 - 12/29/09 01:33 AM

As response to Rollins
I have had zona herpes during the first year of my Atripla treatment it could be the reason of reaction of immun system or stress but with medication I managed to handle with in 2 weeks or so , that was around my left side of chest area.So far doing wonderful.

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estanoche
Newbie

Reged: 09/25/09
Posts: 5
Re: Just over a year being HIV +... new
      #248917 - 12/29/09 01:41 AM

We all know the fact that dealing HIV is not fun comes with discreet decisions and self confidence.What I like to say and share is life still goes on and every single one of us should enjoy it the best we can , thanks god there is a cure for it so why we should worry about anything else there is always a Plan B for anything for ourlives , so lets keep up the good spirit and joy of life and be thankful to God we are still alive ))
All human kind will die sooner or later , dealing with HIV should not affect to anyone ; take your daily pills watch yrself respect others and continue living well , wish everyone Happy Newyear ..
Did I sound like Dr Phil LOL ))

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MrJeff
Newbie

Reged: 12/29/09
Posts: 1
Re: Just over a year being HIV +... new
      #248921 - 12/29/09 12:52 PM

When I first was diagnosed, I too went through many of the same experiences. I spent a lot of money, I got very depressed, I started using meth. Life became a mess and I let myself get to a point where I did not care about anything or anyone , even myself. I stopped going to the doctor. I just wanted to get sick and let myself die.

I had a friend in crisis, I couldn't help him. I felt bad, I couldn't even help myself. I sought a new HIV doctor, and was referred to The Positive Care Clinic at my county hospital. They were terrific. They have a therapist on staff for HIV clients. We meet weekly for five years now. My depression was the real source of my problems. Learning to control the depression, I instantly stopped using, life has improved. I was using my HIV as away to commit passive suicide.

Ask your doctor for a referral to be evaluated for depression, seek local HIV non-profits and organizations for support and help.

Help your self, don't wait, it only makes the problems worse.

Good Luck, in friendship Jeff.

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iam1
Fanatic

Reged: 06/17/09
Posts: 163
Loc: Georgia
Re: Just over a year being HIV +... new
      #249015 - 01/06/10 02:14 PM

Wonderbread, Have I got news for you. You know when you're finally going to stop wondering about all the aspects associated with HIV? Never. Luckily, you sound like a fairly normal person, so I imagine that you will adjust to being infected, but it's going to take time. And, there will be those days far into the distant future when you just want to sit down and cry.

A support group is an excellant idea! I recommend it to nearly everyone I meet who has recently (within the past 20 years) found out they're HIV+. Some people look at me like I'm crazy, but whether they realize it or not it's comforting to be in a room with other people who know what you're going through. You don't even have to say anything if you're not ready. But, there will come that day when you suddenly decide that you know enough about yourself to let other people into your life.

The "good" part about being HIV+? IF you go you'll be seeing the doctor regularly for many, many years. But, you have to decide for yourself that you need and want to go. And, if you have a clinic in your community as good as the one we have here you'll come to like and appreciate the employees who work there.

I've been HIV+ for well over 20 years. I go to a weekly support group. I go to my clinic visits every 3 months. (I'm probably healthier than just about anybody else there.)

I'd be lieing if I said I never got depressed. But, I can deal with it. How you deal with it is what's important. (I don't recommend drinking lots of alcohol, trying to personally jumpstart the economy, or starting illicit drugs.)

Take your problems one at a time. You didn't get them all the same day. They're not going to all go away the same day.

Besides a support group you might look into seeing if there's an individual person you can communicate with. Someone like an AA or an NA sponser only for HIV. Maybe someone you can go out for coffee or lunch with once or twice a month.

As for your friends who refer to it as "that" - you need to look at them and see if they are still accepting of you for who you are. But, don't expect them to be able to understand what you're going through. I know with whom and when I can bring up the subject of HIV without making them feel uncomfortable. Don't rush it, but take time and learn about this disease. When you're more comfortable with it you'll be better able to speak to your friends about it. And, if they're still referring to it as "that" they are some of the very people who need to be educated.

ps - That debt you racked up - you're going to live more than long enough to have to pay it all off....

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