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otterman
Newbie

Reged: 04/02/14
Posts: 4
Hooking Up
      #275871 - 04/02/14 06:29 PM

I am 27 and over the years I have had sex with many guys. For some reason every time I hook up, I always feel guilty and then I go through months of torment worrying that I might have contracted hiv. I have used condoms mainly, and I'm vers so I always ask the other guy to wear one when I'm on bottom. I hear bj's are low risk but I am hesitant to swallow even though I would love to in many cases. If I use condoms everytime, give and receive oral, and hand jobs will I avoid infection? I don't want to hold myself back and miss out on hot sex just because of the fear of hiv. There are so many apps that make it easy to find guys to sleep with, but I'm sure eventually I will end up hooking up with someone who is positive. As long as I use condoms I should be alright?

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riverprincessModerator
Moderator

Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1786
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: Hooking Up new
      #275898 - 04/04/14 07:10 PM

Please read my comment to your previous posting.The fact that you feel guilty afterwards says alot my friend. I'm just a straight female that once lived a precarious life. Looking for love using the body as a tool will never fill your deep inner need. Again read my response to your other posting. I say all things with caring concern. And Pm me if you want to talk more about this. Been there, done that, didn't find what I was looking for that way.

--------------------
Look up to the Heavens for the answers to Lifes questions .

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iam1
Fanatic

Reged: 06/17/09
Posts: 167
Loc: Georgia
Re: Hooking Up new
      #275950 - 04/11/14 01:55 PM

I think riverprincess (being a female) missed the point of your post.

You want to have sex! Who doesn't? You're trying to confirm that you can have sex safely.

Let me stand on my pulpit and shout to the heavens the line that some people are trying to shove down our throats - condoms don't work. If you believed them you'd believe a condom was a a waste of a piece of rubber (or whatever your condom is made of) and should just be tossed out. The only people who should be having sex are the straight married couples. If you actually believe any of that I have some beautiful ocean front property to sell you in North Dakota.

CONDOMS DO WORK!!! Not 100% of the time. There is going to be that one condom out of the millions sold today that isn't made properly. Trying to tell people to not use condoms for this reason is like trying to tell people the color blue is a bad color for car seats, because a car with blue seats was involved in an accident.

Let me rephrase - USED PROPERLY CONDOMS DO WORK!

Risk factors -

hand jobs - no risk.
oral sex (receiving) - minimal risk. Can't say "no risk", but it's as close as one can get without being a zero risk factor.
oral sex (giving) - minimal risk. Don't know the particulars of the blowjob you're giving or the conditions of your mouth or the other person's possible viral load. Can't rule out the risk of transmission, but would bet the farm on you not catching HIV.

But, our story doesn't end there.

There are many other STD's (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) that can be shared through unsafe (no condom used) oral sex. The 2 biggies going around now - gonorrhea and syphilis. Gonorrhea shows signs when you've been infected. Puss coming out the end of your dick. A sore throat not associated with a cold that doesn't go away with cough drops. Syphilis can shows signs, too. When it gets into your brain and starts eating away at the grey matter. Best thing about both? They generally are easily treatable. I say generally, because there are strains going around that are resistant to antibiotics. Making treatment last longer and be more severe with stronger medications.

Use condoms! Protect yourself! Protect your partner!

I keep dozens of condoms for both myself and friends. (Get them free from me instead of going to the store.) Some people have tried to laugh at me for wanting to use condoms. Those are the people you should avoid. If they care so little about themselves that they would avoid condom use they won't have any concern for you.

Have sex. Have lots of sex! But, have safe sex!!!

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PozInAmarillo
Member

Reged: 07/29/14
Posts: 63
Loc: Texas
Re: Hooking Up new
      #277432 - 07/30/14 02:00 PM

You are a healthy 27 yo gay man surrounded by easy to get sex. I can tell by your post that you already know what is safe and what isnt. If you are gonna fuck then use a condom. Period. Do that and you dont need to give HIV a second thought. Other STD can transmit orally but the incidence is low. All that being said the only thing that is 100% is abstinence and if you are like most young gay guys that really isnt an option. IMHO your guilt probably has nothing to do with fear of HIV and has everything to do with a society that tells you sleeping around is wrong. My advice is shed the guilt, put on a condom and enjoy your sexuality.

--------------------
Nobody can give you HIV. You have to take it.

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