Advertisement
The Body: The Complete HIV/AIDS Resource
Follow Us Follow Us on Facebook Follow Us on Twitter Download Our App
Professionals >> Visit The Body PROThe Body en Espanol

HIV Life >> Gay Men

Pages: 1
razorcut
Member

Reged: 09/05/12
Posts: 10
Loc: Iowa
Friendships, relationships, stuck in neutral, got any advise or want to be friends?
      #266310 - 09/05/12 08:43 PM

Dear Possible friends,
Long story short my roommate who use to be my partner, we have lived together now for 11 years. He is a great guy however, 10 years ago he decided to cheat on our relationship and brought HIV + home to us. At first I was shocked and extremely hurt. Of cource at first he asked me or should I say said to me "Now I suppose you are going to leave me because of this" I said no and I got over it. Over the years we have learned to become great friends however we have not had sex for 10 years now. I feel so alone to tell you the truth. I miss making love and cuddling etc... But he has shut down and has nothing to do with me in that department. I have never left because of many reasons. The main reason is because the mortgage on our farm is in both of our names, and if it was not for me we would have lost this farm long ago. I work my tail off outside the home full time and live a pretty good life however, I am so darn lonely. I need friends, I need love, I need to figure out what to do. I feel like I am stuck in a no win relationship. For one thing I think he has trouble getting it up, but yet maybe not. He is always out and about always running late and I question if he is still cheating even if we are no longer sleeping together anymore. I know you all will say just leave. Well that is easier said then done. So at any rate I need friends maybe more. So if you can find it in your heart to write me a line or two that would be great. Thank you. Oh by the way I am 56 and look 40 or so I am told. I am in great shape and take care of myself, eat right and try not to worry about being HIV +. Life is to short for that want to live, laugh , and love.

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
riverprincessModerator
Moderator

Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1788
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: Friendships, relationships, stuck in neutral, got any advise or want to be friends? new
      #266362 - 09/08/12 01:59 PM

Hi there , sorry to hear about your situation . Sounds like your roomate x lover is a bit of an ass. But I'm sure you realize that. Seems like you got some choices to make . You.ve already decided on one being staying together for the sake of the farm. And it seems like he's put together a separate life for himself . So why don't you? You both are divorced in a emotional way . So go ahead and move on with your life just as he has. You may find yourselves as better roomates and friends. But again that is just a choice option. You certainly can come talk to me whenever you like. It helps to have friends as a sounding board. I'm a sounding board for many and have even proven to be a help , so I've been told.

--------------------
Look up to the Heavens for the answers to Lifes questions .

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
razorcut
Member

Reged: 09/05/12
Posts: 10
Loc: Iowa
Re: Friendships, relationships, stuck in neutral, got any advise or want to be friends? new
      #266367 - 09/08/12 03:58 PM

Thank you first off!
That is very sound advice. Yes your right about the sake of the farm. With the economy being so bad I have to think about my fianaces. I was a fool who got talk into moving from a high rise condo in the sky in Chicago and selling it and moving onto this darn farm. Don't get me wrong it is very beautiful here and the people for the most part are nice. However, your also right about perhaps we should just become total roommates and maybe I should try to reach out and find someone again. However, to be frank I am scared of the ejection I here from people all the time when the "I am positive thing" comes up. When I have said this to a few close friends awhile back only one has remained by my side as a true friend but they live 100's of miles away. So here I am working in the city living on this farm and board out of my fricken mind with life. I do love writing so I have been doing that a lot but that does not cover the feeling of being so lonely. I am sure you understand that. I will take you up on your advice and I just may shoot you a privite message as a sounding board sometime. Sincerely, ~~~William

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
John_Login
Newbie

Reged: 09/12/12
Posts: 1
Re: Friendships, relationships, stuck in neutral, got any advise or want to be friends? new
      #266518 - 09/12/12 11:01 PM

Great. You will inspire me to do a lot of things.

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
riverprincessModerator
Moderator

Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1788
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: Friendships, relationships, stuck in neutral, got any advise or want to be friends? new
      #266544 - 09/13/12 03:19 PM

There is a catagory in this site where people are looking for people but for some reason it seems like everyone is scared to make the move. I can't figure it out. So why don't you just start with saying hi to as many people as you want and see how many replies you get. I do that when I'm just looking for pen pals. And I've made a few great friends that way. You can talk to me anytime you want someone to just talk to. I'm a straight married female but that doesn't mean we can't be friends and share some laughter , hopes and dreams. I would love to hear about your farm. I grew up on a farm. Stop on by anytime or I'll even stop by you, ok!?

--------------------
Look up to the Heavens for the answers to Lifes questions .

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Gay_Architect
Newbie

Reged: 09/17/12
Posts: 2
Re: Friendships, relationships, stuck in neutral, got any advise or want to be friends? new
      #266684 - 09/17/12 11:06 AM

Where do you live? I live in Portland, Oregon and just posted my story on line: Gay Christian Architect, HIV+.

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Letstalk
Member

Reged: 04/30/12
Posts: 14
Loc: Norrth Carolina
Re: Friendships, relationships, stuck in neutral, got any advise or want to be friends? new
      #266711 - 09/17/12 11:22 PM

This sounds like an interesting situation. It almost sounds like you haven't made a decision to move on with your life. Are you considering continuing this "relationship" or are you planning to move forward with your life?

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
razorcut
Member

Reged: 09/05/12
Posts: 10
Loc: Iowa
Re: Friendships, relationships, stuck in neutral, got any advise or want to be friends? new
      #267454 - 09/29/12 05:45 PM

I live south west outside of Des Moines, Iowa 25 miles on a farm.

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Pages: 1


What's New at TheBody.com

Additional Information
0 registered and 1 anonymous users are browsing this forum.

Moderator:  TheBody, bogart, crabman, riverprincess 

Permissions
      You cannot start new topics
      You cannot reply to topics
      HTML is enabled
      UBBCode is enabled

Thread views: 3881

 
Jump to

Contact Us | Privacy Statement The Body

*
UBB.threads™ 6.2.3