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Reged: 07/04/10
Posts: 1
      #251077 - 07/07/10 11:46 PM

Hello, ive been in a relationship fo the past 10 months who had hiv, we met on a dating service and from there the magic began, weve shared so much and realized we were meant to meet, we shared the same plans abotu marriage, moving in, integrating out family and friends, we got use to each other and got comfortable to a point where we gave up alot of ouselves where we lost ourselves in the process. We support each other with the hiv beacause we dont feel alone. Now we had an arguemnt and he cried to me saying im choking the life out of him and needs space, it has been a week and i am trying to get through it, i cried myself to sleep the first few nights, we seen each other every night , how can he not want to touch me or be close to me....i understand hes been alone for 15 years so i guess it can be commitmen issues, its not fair to me becasue i poured all of me into his., i deserve a chance or we for that matter, he told me all these nice things, and the fact that we were growing old together i dont want t die alone let alone without him. arent couples supposed to see a counselor to get help? He told me its over and we have to stay apart, he will consider to call me in a few weeks, i respect him but this doesnt sit right with me, how does someone shut off to a person, hes been in therapy and i know his therapist says to stay away,,but he can call or text at least, isnt he concerned about me as i for him? he lot a lover to hiv, and he could be scared,,how do i reassure him im not giving up and not to seem like a stalker? i went to his house once because i wanted to talk and see him,,,he used the word stalker!! if he loved so much and said im the one how can he use a word like that? i will wait for him but i dont know how long i can endure the pain...i dont want to compromise my health,,,,thank you for your
responses an time to read this long post......thank you...
also, he left a letter in my mailbox to say we should be apart, i dont think i deserved that,,,,that hurt the most, it was like the time when i was told i had hiv....

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New User

Reged: 07/08/10
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Re: Relatioship new
      #251087 - 07/08/10 09:33 PM

Sad to say, this kind of thing happens all the time. It's just bad luck. Best thing is to accept it, not obsess over what might have caused it (it could be a hundred different reasons or none at all), and just move on as soon as you can.

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Reged: 01/19/10
Posts: 660
Re: Relatioship new
      #251089 - 07/08/10 10:21 PM

bad breakups are the worst! what a dick move he pulled. i feel for you. i wasted so much time waiting for someone instead of moving on sooner.

what you're feeling is withdrawal and betrayal. both very normal things. the best thing you can do for yourself is to take time and space away from your ex. sure, you can "mourn" and "grieve" but only for a little bit. reach out to friends. talk about it to no end until even you get sick of hearing about it.

sooner or later, you will start to feel better and begin to move on with your life. whether or not it was his fault or if he was a jerk or not doesn't matter now. analyzing what might have been at the root of this won't bring him back. you can't "solve" this breakup. you just need to get over it. especially if he's going to treat you like this.

you will figure it out on your own though. just don't get sucked back in.

Bartleby at The Body
Bulletin Board Administrator

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Reged: 07/09/10
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Re: Relatioship new
      #251094 - 07/09/10 02:21 PM

The only thing that can help you in the terrible breakup is time. Leave him completely not call, write, text, or visit him for this will only make things worse for you (being rejected again). In time, things will get better and the feelings of sadness and sorrow will get less and less. Do something nice for yourself this weekend: a massage, eat a favorite meal, hang out with friends, go to an amusement park, beach, etc. I know you don't want to hear this, but I'm giving you a little tough love/advice: Share yourself with another person, don't completely lose yourself in another person. You are a whole and unique individual. In your next relationship...let you stay you and let him stay him...and come together as a couple without losing yourselves in each other.

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