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Reged: 07/02/06
Posts: 4
what do you guys thing about this?
      #198578 - 07/02/06 03:39 PM

Hello everyone. i just needed someone to talk to. i was recently told by my lover of 5 years that he was diagnosed as hiv positive. He pretty much told me that it was me that gave him the virus. I have been tested for hiv and i am negative. we did have unprotected sex regularly for the five years. and my tests are negative. We have been split up and in different states for the last 8 months. I have not seen him only talk to him over the phone. Im scared for myself and for both of us. I tried to comfort him over the phone but its kind of hard me being so far away. I did my part as far as trying to comfort him and promising to go get myself tested to make sure that i didnt give him anything. LIke i said i did go get tested twice and both times my test came back negative. what do i do now???? i did have intention on trying to work the relationship out and possible us getting back together. however im kind of concerned??? was he already positive????? did he meet someone else and contract hiv while we are not togther???? he informed me that he was been having problems and been going to the docotor but kept me in the dark about it these last few months. i had no clue he was having any problems. he informed me has is having a bloody stool. its all not makins sense to me. im really not sure if he is just playing a mind game with me??? is this real??? he is living with his first love , honestly i have always had trust issues but inspite of all that i still love him and want to do the right thing. I really dont know how to approach things. I mean i want to give him all the support i can, and really i trully love him. i have begged him to move where i am before i found out about the diagnosis and he refused to move. Im just confused. need some advice. also since i did test negative am i ok??? how is it that im negative and he is now positive??????? . hope to hear from some of you soon. :)))

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Reged: 10/31/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: what do you guys thing about this? new
      #198595 - 07/02/06 07:21 PM

Here are my thoughts and by the way Welcome to TheBody.. I would for your peace of mind if you have not already done so is have an Elisa test done on you for confirmation that you are indeed neg. I am sure you have that question looming in the back of your mind. Get that over with. Then go from there. As for your x-lover telling you "he got it from you". That would be an impossibility if you are indeed neg. You didnt clarify when your last test was as I recall. As gay guys go. We/they tend to fool around. And purhaps, this is what happened in his case. You have offered your support, he has declined it. Do not press this issue anyfurther. Let it lie where it is for now. He most likely is working through alot of emotions right now and I would if anything tell him to get involved with a support group. Be it here or at AIDSMEDS or through his local ASO (Aids Service Organization). There are very many different feelings your x is going through right now. They will change like the wind over time.. Give him some breathing room, but let him know you are there...

In the meantime, like I say... If you have any doubts about your status, get tested... Keep talking.


Eric - "RatBoy"

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