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Past Forums (read only) >> Coping With HIV

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Atheena
Regular

Reged: 02/22/10
Posts: 46
Loc: Texas
Trying to find help so I can cope.
      #250651 - 06/06/10 10:44 AM

I am 22+ pos. Have already told my story on the body. Great advice was given to me and I did everything that was ask of me but for some reason all roads lead me to a dead end street and standing alone. I ask myself this question every single day where do I fit in? Because of right now there, is no place for me. I am White, Female, Straight, Married, have health insurance, make good money (mid class)with lots of bills. I thought HIV was HIV and who should care about sexual orientation. We are all sharing this disease together and should stand together.

There was one program (one of a kind in my area) so promising but since I make too much money I cannot join their program. The program is only available to low income people period. I canít even pay to get in the program because it is a funded program.

Support groups? Are there any out there for someone like me? I don't feel like telling my story over and over because everyone has a story to tell. I just am trying to find help for myself. I donít socialize at all and have a hard time going out and facing this world every single day ( I go to work shut my door do my job and go home). I am tired of being tired. I can't find a personal trainer, nutritionist, or therapist that specializes in HIV without being in a funded program. My insurance company pays for a small portion but none of these professions under my insurance plan is experience with HIV. I have seen a nutritionist and therapist which they knew nothing about HIV and it was a waste of their time and mine. My Doctor is a good Infectious Decease Doc but that is it. I have been going to him for 11 years and my status is steady. I would really hate to leave him and go to a different Doctor because there is no guarantee they will be able to find the specialist I am looking for.

I donít know what to do any more I feel myself grasping at a rope that just deteriorates before my eyes. I donít want to go to just any therapist and nutritionist with no HIV/AIDS info and forget about a public gym. How do I find help or am I just out of luck being in a mid class income?

The thing that gets me is they look at my gross income and nothing else. I gross that money I donít take it home and I have many bills. But that doesnít matter to the person pushing the pen because they have guidelines to follow.

How do I continue to go on with a positive attitude when I feel that I am the one being singled out and treated like an outcast by all groups.

Look I am not mad at anybody, I just really am hurting emotionally and physically right now and just want to belong somewhere and get the help that I need.
Atheena

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mystified
Newbie

Reged: 06/09/10
Posts: 1
Re: Trying to find help so I can cope. new
      #250676 - 06/09/10 03:29 PM

Hi Atheena. I am also a middle class, white female who holds down a career and is HIV+. I recently found that most social programs offered were not available to me either because of income. However prescription assistance is available to just about anyone in the state that I live in. I also found that a peer/support group was helpful no matter who it was made up of. When first diagnosed, I went to a support group made up entirely of gay men. These men were welcoming, understanding and had many of the same feelings and relationship dynamics going on at home that I did. It just felt good to be around people who could nod their heads at what I was saying and those who I could be open with, not feeling like I was carrying a secret around. Even those we love most wont fully understand what we are feeling inside unless they walk a mile in our shoes. And, that's ok! Financially, I feel fortunate to have insurance at all. There are so many people living with HIV/AIDS that are much less fortunate. I appreciate the level of health I have each day and look at the positive things. It's just a little promise to myself to enjoy life more each day. It's not easy to stay positive each and every moment, but that's just the ebb and flow of life.

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