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Past Forums (read only) >> Coping With HIV

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New User

Reged: 05/23/10
Posts: 21
      #250453 - 05/24/10 09:09 PM

I know there is a lot of people who are uneducated about HIV and think just because they drank out of the same cup as someone they are at "high risk" for contracting HIV.Trust me I know for I have run across these idiots,with all due respect some of the things you guys think and worry about really is idiotic.I have newly discovered I have HIV.I have been having unprotected sex with an hiv positive male and now I am having symptoms.I need advice,I need help,thats what I came on here for so why am I not getting it? You and I are dealing with the same things so why must you read what I write and just ignore me? Is what I write that irrelevant? I don't think so honestly.I am 19 years old,I have contracted HIV,no I have not tested positive yet but I know I have it for I have been having sex with someome who has it and am now going through cold sweats,rash and swollen lymph nodes.All you guy's can do is read this and go on about you'r business? Makes me question,how many fucking people actually have HIV on this website?

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New User

Reged: 02/06/10
Posts: 5
Re: anybody? new
      #250459 - 05/24/10 10:26 PM

first off let me start by saying you are totally being rude. you have not even been told that you are positive you are diagnosing yourself. just because you had a encouner with someone thats positive does not mean that you are. you should go and get tested and have it confirmed before you diagnose yourself. i hope that you are not. but you are disrespectful to the people on this site that actually are positive like me. most of the people on this site are positive who is here just cause believe me wouldnt be playing about nothing like that. anyway best of luck to you

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Reged: 01/19/10
Posts: 660
Re: anybody? new
      #250460 - 05/24/10 10:39 PM

Hello Optimist,

While it is most definitely risky behavior having sex with someone who is positive, there are still chances that you are negative.

Get tested up to the 3-month mark to be sure. You should never go on symptoms alone. They are notoriously unreliable.

That being said, I would urge you to be more respectful to the people on the boards. I understand that you are going through a lot right now, but it's no reason to be rude. People here are understanding and willing to lend you support, but you have to be nice.

Bartleby at The Body
Bulletin Board Administrator

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Reged: 01/20/07
Posts: 1186
Re: anybody? new
      #250462 - 05/24/10 11:52 PM

So you wanna know what it's like to cope with HIV. I will ignore the fact you haven't even tested positive and grant your wish.

First off we are NOT dealing with the same things. I've been living with HIV for 14 years, my husband for 21, and you.....not no, we aren't dealing with the same thing.

You berated those that fear people with HIV. You even seem so proud of your stellar knowledge about HIV. Not so much.....if you're so smart as to dress down people that don't know the facts about HIV, then why were you consenting to unprotected sex? Multiple time? That was no accident. That was deliberate. Why? After all, you are so wise, you know better than that.

You've flitted all over this board. It seems as if you enjoy the drama of your actions. I doubt you will enjoy the reality of your actions should you test positive. There are NO do overs. You're flippant about having this disease. This isn't a game. It's real, it's serious and it's deadly. Don't ever forget that.

But anyway back to Coping with HIV.

Well first there's the whole issue of 'having HIV'. It's not accepted as you may think it is. Think about it, years down the road and you and your partner have split up and here you are trying to date and have a relationship. You can look through all the posts on here with people tangling with that very subject. How to tell? When to tell? How to deal with the rejection? That's the biggie.

All the little shit is kinda like the chinese water torture, like having to take off for several doctor's appointments from work because of health issues that have cropped up because you have HIV in the first place. Even with ADA and such, absenteeism at work gets notice, even if it's not an issue with your company, your co-workers are noticing....and talking.

It's hiding the fact you're having a bad day with your meds and just feel like you're gonna puke any second. To bad it's in the middle of a meeting with clients. Suck it up, take a deep breath and hope you can fight the feeling back down.

It's the daily regiment of taking your meds. Day in and day out, year after year after year. Not so easy. Of course after years of taking those meds, little health issue such as high cholesterol or high triglycerides crop then it's more pills....and then it's more pills to deal with the side effects from those pills.

It's dealing with the insurance company when they decide your doctor didn't need to prescribe what he/she did and you either have to choose to go without or find a way to pay out of pocket. It's waking up at night in a cold sweat because you know your COBRA runs out in the next month and you still have found a job to replace that insurance. It's wondering where the money will come from to pay for the meds because the insurance company has placed your meds on Tier 3 and that means you have to pay 20% of the cost of the medication.....and just one of those is $1800 a month....$360 a month out of pocket for just one of your meds. Comforting isn't it?

At least these days you can get life insurance, it's term and you pay through the nose and it's stipulated from hell and back. Best you can do. Might cover the burial expenses one day.

All that can cause a person to get a bit cranky, so many of us with HIV also deal with depression, anxiety, panic attacks. guessed it. More Pills!

Gee all those meds sure do take a toll on the liver. God forbid you might also be co-infected with Hep C. That combination is not that uncommon. Did you think about that? Either way liver complications are an issue.

Gee all those pills are keeping you alive. Now you've been living with it for 15 years. You notice that you don't remember things quite the way you did. You also notice that you seem to lash out for no or very little reason. Others notice subtle or not so subtle personality changes. You have been HAD (HIV Associated Dementia), through now it's know as HAND (HIV Associated Neurological Disorder).
Medication does not stop the damage done to the brain by HIV. It's keeps you alive longer but all that time HIV is eating away at the gray matter.

Yep time goes by. You find yourself slowing down. Hell you've had it for 20 years and your only 39, but you just can't keep up with your friends. Nothing major, but you just get tired easy. You start to pass up outings with friends because it just wears you out. More and more health issues keep cropping up, some because of HIV, some because you're getting older. But that's understandable. HIV speeds up the aging process. Us old farts are old....before our time because that's what HIV does.

This my dear is quite possibly your future if you do test positive. Perhaps you can now understand why your concerns, while important to you, are certainly not a reason for those Coping with HIV to drop everything to answer your posts.

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New User

Reged: 05/23/10
Posts: 21
Re: anybody? new
      #250468 - 05/25/10 05:22 AM

im sorry i didnt meant to be rude,i guess im just scared,im worried,and i guess im just young and dumb,i didnt mean to make anyone feel like you do im just so scared.i cant say anything else.he is positive...i am now dealing with symptoms.i know u guys already have it just like him but im just getting its different situations,i guess mine isnt as bad but then again you all have been where i am.i am scared,thats all,i want advice thats it,so sorry ifi came off the way i did.

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New User

Reged: 03/04/10
Posts: 1
Re: anybody? new
      #250591 - 06/01/10 10:30 PM

Thank you for your summary of what life becomes after HIV. I'm a 20+ year survivor and couldn't have worded it better myself. Especially about getting old before our time. My biggest thankfulness when I feel depressed about everything, is to remember all my friends who passed away way too young. God bless!

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