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HIV Life >> Women

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Anonymous
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POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE RELATIONSHIPS
      #71481 - 09/11/03 11:29 AM

is there anyone out there who has been in a pos/neg relationship? i was recently in one. i had a boyfrined for a long time before we found out he was pos. we were already in love and now due to that he won't even talk to me on the phone and he wants nothing to do with me and i know that he loves me! what can i do to get him back? people who are in this same situation please help me or if you no someone who is please help! i don't know what to do and i was wondering if this is a common reaction and does it last a lifetime? i can't loose what is now just a friend. anyone with advice who has been or is in a pos/neg relationship please help me understand this!







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Anonymous
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Re: POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE RELATIONSHIPS new
      #72757 - 09/23/03 09:57 PM

I would think the reason for him pulling back is because he rather do it before you did it. He is just scared that you won't love him in this condition. He would rather see you do better for yourself. I am HIV+ and I felt that way, I thought I was not worth having a relationship and I wanted him to leave me. I felt he had his whole life ahead of him and can live a normal life with out me. Little did I know I was hurting him just as much as I was hurting. After 12 years we are getting married in a week. If you truly love him I would hold onto him and make him understand how much you love him...Best of Luck!



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Re: POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE RELATIONSHIPS new
      #72923 - 09/24/03 11:43 PM

i appreciate your kind words more than you will ever know. finally someone understands how i feel! what can i say or do to keep him. i do not want to loose what we had or even a friendship. how did the love of your life convince you other wise. what can i say to make him realize that no matter what he says or does am i going nowhere and i want him to be the man that i someday marry. congratulations to you i think that is wonderful you are living out my dream. i hope to convince him and be with him forever. how did you finally see that you were actually loveable and well deserved by someone else. is it just a matter of time until you realize that you still are someone with feelings who is cared about and loved. please tell me it just takes time and that he does somehow still care for me. i know he does. thanks so much! best of luck



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helper
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Re: i will try my best new
      #74499 - 10/08/03 01:41 PM

Excatly what you are saying to me...you are saying all the right things and I can tell you feel them too. Maybe have him read them, write him a letter. Sometimes guys need to see it then actually hear it...you know how they can be at times yeah yeah yeah kinda like yesing us to death hahaha. Try writing your feelings down and give it to him on his way to work or in his pocket you know at a time when he least expects it. It take a lot for a Man to feel secure sorry to say he needs alot of attention from you. See what his feeling are.. does he really love you, does he want a future with you is he with other people the reason I am asking you is cause he might be giving you excuses and you maybe feel it's you and it really isn't. Let me know and we can go from there. Watch his actions and see if he is true to you.Best of luck and keep in touch...I want to help :)



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Re: i will try my best new
      #75119 - 10/12/03 08:06 PM

i actually just sent him a letter last week so i am waiting to hear from him although i probably won't. yes, i do mean what i say i care about him a lot. i would really appreciate your help. this situation sucks and i don't know how to get him to talk to me. he used to talk to me everyday, he used to be my boyfriend and now this. what do i do.



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helper
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Re: i will try my best new
      #75189 - 10/13/03 03:46 PM

Okay now I know your serious but what is his status? Are you even dating any more? Once he realizes that you mean everything he may wake up and give your love a chance. Does he still love you? Is he dating others? Once you know where you stand with him then you can move on whether with or with out him. Keep me posted.



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Re: i will try my best new
      #75266 - 10/13/03 09:51 PM

no, we are not together anymore. we were together then he found that out and broke up with me because he said that i deserved so much more and better and that was pretty much the end of that. to me it seems like he thinks i'm better than him and he is no longer good for me from what he says. that's the situation now. so no we arent together and i am only trying to keep in touch with him and show him how much i am willing to accept him even as a friend and he is not accepting anything from me. he called me like 2 months ago and was fine asked questions and all and now he no longer calls or returns my calls i have no idea what is going through his mind right now. i sometimes feel like he has given up and he is down on himself or maybe he is mad because he can't be with me like he wants to be i don't know but i do know he cares about me and thinks a lot of me he told me that and so did his family. i think it's an internal problem with him right now when it comes to me. i have no idea.



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Anonymous
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Re: POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE RELATIONSHIPS new
      #75782 - 10/19/03 04:31 AM

i was in a positive /neg relationship and i am a white positive male and i lived with a white positive female for 2 yrs and we lived apart for 2 yrs too.
but the biggest thing is can you trust him, as far as if you think he is going togive you hiv or do you just worry about it?
when you get over that, the relationship will go forward.
viewer1977@aol.com



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Anonymous
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Re: POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE RELATIONSHIPS new
      #75861 - 10/20/03 10:51 AM

i trust him with all my heart. i know he would never put me at risk. that is just a risk i'm willing to take you can't live your whole life in fear of what MIGHT happen you know? yes, i love him and i trust him but nothing is happening right now he is just pushing me away by ignoring me. he says i deserve better and i disagree. i don't know how to make him see that i love him now and i always will no matter what. maybe he is afraid to love me now that he knows he has hiv because maybe he is afraid i will leave him someday and i can promise that would never happen. he makes me very happy when i am with him and i don't want that to change. i wish a miracle would happen and he would talk to me again.



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