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HIV Life >> Women

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Anonymous
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How do I tell my family I'm HIV Positive?
      #67646 - 07/16/03 03:11 AM

I am 42 year old single mother living on Miami Beach. I have been hiding my HIV status for 4 1/2 years now (my own daughter doesn't even know). I left New York because the word got out and I am very careful with my all of my partners but I am tired of living with this secret. What is the best way to tell my family? My mother, ex-husband and daughter will just die over this. Please give me some advice.



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Jackie_Blue
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Reged: 10/26/00
Posts: 2028
Re: How do I tell my family I'm HIV Positive? new
      #67648 - 07/16/03 05:32 AM

There is no easy way. I told my brother first. He was the easiest. He came with me when I told my mom. We told the kids when they each reach about 10. I didn't tell my ex-husband for years. That was a mistake. My daughter told him. I picked up the telephone and with no warning I hear him as "Do you have AIDS?" He was concerned for the kids safety which I understood. I had my doctor talk with him and assure him the kids were quite safe. Even that disclosure went way much better than I thought it would, which is why I hadn't told him.

I guess we all have to get to a point where we can say 'I'm HIV+ accept me as I am, or don't. It doesn't matter.' You don't say how old your daughter is, but she might be the best one to tell first if she's at an age to be told.

Good Luck

I was lucky. For me, almost everyone that I told has been very supportative. Do you have a friend that knows. It can help to have someone with you for moral support.



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Anonymous
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Re: How do I tell my family I'm HIV Positive? new
      #67688 - 07/16/03 08:06 PM

i can relate. i found out i was hiv positive in 1991. i didn't tell anyone until 1997. i went through 3 pregnancies alone. i finally got tired and told my mother who told my husband. he took it well and said that he loved me and would never leave me. we got married and are still together fighting every step of the way. my cd4 is 127 and i have been very sick. i advise you to tell one person that you trust. maybe if you told them with a health care professiional, and provide them with the best up to date information that you can give them..it is hard but you are going to need some support. if they truly love you they will stand by you regardless



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Anonymous
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Re: How do I tell my family I'm HIV Positive? new
      #67815 - 07/19/03 09:12 AM

Thank you everybody for your advice. I just sold my place on South Beach and have decided to move back to New York so I can be close to my 12 year old daughter. I want to tell my family in person and be around to support them. I'm ready to do this.



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Anonymous
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Re: How do I tell my family I'm HIV Positive? new
      #67996 - 07/23/03 12:17 AM

It takes a lot of strength. You are already dealing with a life-threatening illness. So don't be hard on yourself. People share this info with others when they find the strength. Some people never tell....If you feel it's time, then it's time. Good luck!



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Anonymous
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Re: How do I tell my family I'm HIV Positive? new
      #68977 - 08/10/03 02:44 PM

It's frustrating that the average person is still in the dark about this virus, that is cannot be contracted easily like the flu. It all stems from the fear spread when scientists did not know all the ways in which it could be contracted. This Subject taught in schools would eliminate the ignorance.



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