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Anonymous
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How best to ask women to get tested?
      #64787 - 05/09/03 03:03 AM

Since condoms are not 100% effective for preventing HIV transmission (and other fluid transfers are also a problem), it seems apropos to ask one's partner to get tested with you for AIDS, before having sex.

Even before kissing, if one of you accidently bites the other, when making out, or has a sore or something.

But how to ask? As a guy, I've usually asked my partner in the past if she has been tested, but it turns out that on several occasions she's lied. (I only found out later).

Now, the women I talk to about it get all squeamish and say that if I ask, then I'm weird, or something. They don't think it's romantic, they think that very few people have AIDS, they think that condoms are 100% effective, and that you can NEVER get it from kissing, and that it's primarily a gay men's disease, and that guys don't ask those kind of questions (guys just want to have sex with anybody).

They also seem to think you can't get it from oral sex. Where'd they get that idea?

So how best to ask a woman to get tested with you? How best to get tested with her?

Ladies, any ideas?

Thanks!



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Anonymous
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Re: How best to ask women to get tested? new
      #64788 - 05/09/03 10:02 AM

First of all you CANNOT get HIV from kissing. And using condoms ARE effective to stop HIV transmission (particularly if you know how to use them--ie read the directions and use them from beginning to end) We know they are effective cause LOTS of people who are married to each other and one is negative and one is positive use condoms to have sex and the negative person stays negative. (they may not stop transmission of herpes however and hpv which can be transmitted via skin to skin contact)
Also it doesn't matter if you test someone the day you plan to have sex! It is meaningless cause it takes up to 3 months for someone to seroconvert. So a test today for sex today does NOT test for less than three months.
What intelligent people do is get to know each other before they have sex. And if they feel serious about each other they use a condom or wait three months and get tested. Unprotected sex with anyone you don't know well is stupid.
Also biting is not dangerous!! The only two transmission with biting was whereskin was broken, massive amounts of blood spurted out and stitches were needed! So bite away! YOU won't get HIV!
You must learn the facts!



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Anonymous
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Re: How best to ask women to get tested? new
      #64791 - 05/09/03 11:10 PM

As usual, you are ignorant of many facts.

And, BTW, I have accidently bitten people while kissing, or they have bitten me. And blood spurted out (small amounts). And deep kissing is dangerous, with HIV.

If there are any tears, or anything, it can transfer.

In fact, there is a documented case of where a woman got AIDS from her partner who was HIV positive, from kissing, because he flossed his teeth and his gums bled.

As for the seroconversion, this can happen anywhere from 1 month to 6 months ... so do you think people shouldn't get tested at all?

As for condoms, how do you have oral sex with a condom. I'm not going to use a dental dam. And condoms break.

Whatever. You've just reinforced the fact that I'm dealing with idiots and shouldn't expect any better.

Unfortunately, more people will get AIDs than just the ignorant.



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Anonymous
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Re: How best to ask women to get tested? new
      #64837 - 05/13/03 05:20 AM

You really are misinformed. If your attitude didn't get in the way you might learn something. Since you do need to wait 3 months before testing, I really don't think you have a real problem about asking. I can't imagine any woman putting up with you for that long.



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Anonymous
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Re: How best to ask women to get tested? new
      #64840 - 05/13/03 10:16 AM

It's astonishing how arrogant you are. What do you mean by "as usual"? You don't know me. I guess it's just your technique to add that to your argument to sound like you know what you are talking about. Fortunately I know you are ignorant. You don't even read the stuff on this site. I work for a prevention hotline and so have actually been trained. There are TWO cases in the world of someone getting HIV from biting and there was massive amounts of blood. Two cases in more than 40 million cases does not worry me (although it will probably worry you....). Again the actually scientific studies have been done in discordant couples--ie one is negative and one is positive living together and having sex together for many years. The studies show that there is no transmission if condoms are always used. And women are eight times more likely to get HIV from a man then vice a versa.
In any case, the risk in unprotected oral sex is largely a risk of other sexually transmitted diseases. You can get herpes and gonorrhea from receiving oral sex. But there has been NO documented cases of getting HIV from RECEIVING oral sex. This is true even if the CDC considers this a low risk activity. Remember though there have been studies on transmission through oral sex the studies have only been done on gay men--who claim that is how they got HIV this way. These claims have never been verified...and these men were GIVING not receiving oral sex.

But if you are truly worried about getting sexually transmitted diseases, don't go from woman to woman having sex. Find a relationship (if you can....) and stick with one person. This will lower your risk. Being promiscuous will definitely raise your risk for all sexually transmitted diseases and there are a lot of them much much easier to get then HIV.

Oh, and by the way, "AIDS" is not transmitted. HIV is--which is the virus that causes AIDS.

It looks like you have questions and you undoubtedly will have a hard time believing someone here. So call the GMHC hotline yourself and discuss your fears fo getting HIV from being bitten or kissed. They'll listen gently and then tell you that you are absolutely wrong. 1-800-243-7692



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Anonymous
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Re: How best to ask women to get tested? new
      #64876 - 05/15/03 11:38 PM

Ignorant guys abound...and yet it never occurs to them to stop sleeping around...they want some "safe" way to remain dogs and jump everything they pass. Well, there is NO way to be safe and a slut. Sleeping around IS risky! Sleeping with people who sleep around expands your risk. And guys like this will never learn the facts because they have no ability to LISTEN to LEARN.
Sad....luckily most women will know better then to sleep with such half wits.



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Anonymous
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Re: How best to ask women to get tested? new
      #65556 - 06/12/03 03:14 AM

To the original 'postee'.....when did you last get a test?!



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