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oral sex and HIV
      #63811 - 04/17/03 11:55 AM

Hi, I am currently dating a man, whom I care greatly about... however... he is a part of a lifestyle sexual movement that I am unsure about participating in. He is what is termed a swinger. He has assured me that EVERYONE uses protection, i.e. condoms..... however, in speaking with my nurse midwife yesterday she said that even oral sex can cause a partner to contract HIV.... Do any of you have any information on this or his "lifestyle" choice?????
I would really appreciate any feedback and wisdom that you might have to share with me..... I am a 35 year old woman, college educated, with two six year old twins. I am going through a divorce and am concerned about doing ANYTHING that would or could potentially harm myself and in so doing, harm my children.
Thank you.

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Re: oral sex and HIV new
      #63909 - 04/18/03 08:03 PM

It's rare to get HIV from oral sex. But not rare to get other sexually transmitted diseases (people get gonorhea in their throat....herpes, etc. and it can also be passed from the throat to the genitals.) Anyway, do you want to have sex with other people? If he "swings" which means he has sex with lots of people who have sex with lots of people then you could be at risk for lots of sexually transmitted disease. You see some stds you can get EVEN when using protection! Like herpes is skin to skin contact.

Most STDs are far more prevalent than AIDS and don't require ejaculation or even penetration to spread. Viral STDs are no exception, but it gets worse; the condom you so faithfully wear for penetration may not protect you. Even if you make him wear a condom even during foreplay. Don't forget about his scrotum, pubic hair, and base of his shaft, areas not covered by the condom. He can carry viruses there and give them to you. And once you catch one of these nasty viruses, you can have it for life. So do what you want, but realize a guy who advertises that he's promiscuos can give you a disease! He can't harm your children...but he may harm you. Beware! As for his "lifestyle" choice sounds like he's just a typical guy who likes to have lots of sex. Does he want you to join in? What's in it for you? Are you ok having a partner who will not be monogomous?

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Re: oral sex and HIV new
      #64504 - 05/01/03 10:20 PM

dont risk it!!value yourself ...drop him..there are other guys out there that will want you for you, only you ..not other people in addition to you

sorry if thats not what you want to hear- but only being real

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