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Majandra
Newbie

Reged: 04/24/02
Posts: 5
Loc: New York
HIV poetry
      #32816 - 04/24/02 09:34 AM

Hello. I'm an 29 year old single mother living with HIV. I've found that writing poetry helps to keep me sane. :) I've never been keen on groups or counselling, so my poetry is my own form of therapy. I should probably warn anyone reading this that sometimes my poems are a bit dark.


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
Emotions written on a page
Love locked up inside a cage
Fear swims in my bitter rage

It's dark and I can't sleep

Silence violates my mind
My own thoughts are so unkind
I reach but never seem to find

It's dark and I can't sleep

My body holds another's sin
Never can be touched again
Breathe out so I can breathe you in

It's dark and I can't sleep

Life and death; caught in between
I can't cry and I can't scream
I feel your love...but it can't redeem

It's dark and I can't sleep
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~




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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: HIV poetry new
      #32931 - 04/25/02 10:18 AM

Hi Majandra

Terrific! Thanks so much for sharing! Where are you from?

C.L.



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Majandra
Newbie

Reged: 04/24/02
Posts: 5
Loc: New York
Re: HIV poetry new
      #32953 - 04/25/02 12:22 PM

Hi C.L.,

You're welcome and I'm glad you liked it. I don't usually share my poetry with anyone (only my best friend has read them)...but this is pretty anonymous so I figured what the heck.

I'm from a small city in upstate NY. How about you?

Majandra



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: HIV poetry new
      #33139 - 04/27/02 01:20 PM

Hi Majandra:

I'm from New York City! It must be hard to have HIV in a small town! How do you keep confidentiality?

C.L.



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Majandra
Newbie

Reged: 04/24/02
Posts: 5
Loc: New York
Re: HIV poetry new
      #33815 - 05/06/02 03:27 PM

Hi C.L.,

Actually, it's not all that hard to keep confidentiality...my city isn't that small! I tend to keep to myself...only a handful of people know of my HIV status. I have been thinking of joining a support group, it's a bit lonely not knowing anyone else personally who is HIV positive...but I'm not sure of how comfortable I'd be with that.

It must be great living in NYC...there are so many resources available there! Not so here....although we do have one very helpful Center here and everyone there is so nice. I go there sometimes to sign out books.

Majandra



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Cindy
Unregistered

Re: HIV poetry new
      #33917 - 05/07/02 08:42 PM

Hello Majandra,

I wanted to say "hello" and tell you that I was overwhelmed by your poem. I just got a "Dear John" letter from a man after telling him of my HIV status. Tears streaming down my face, I was determined to find a site online where I wasn't the oddball or the outsider. So, here I am! I am 32 years old and live in the Washington, DC area. My husband infected me with the virus--he was positive and didn't share it with me beforehand. I stayed in the relationship and sadly, he died a few years later. He has been gone for 6 years now. "My body holds another's sin, Never can be touched again, Breathe out so I can breathe you in" Those words are so true--thank you for sharing your emotions. Sometimes we need to grieve in that dark place for just a little while before we can see the light again. THANK YOU




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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: HIV poetry new
      #34149 - 05/10/02 11:38 PM

I was deeply moved by your poem you are incredibly talented!
I believe i saw a site once actually a link to a site from pozevents.org, or maybe .com try it, it was a link to a site ( that's free) for people who are + and want to date. and to cindy if your reading this , screw that guy that gave you the "dear john" letter. his lost.
p.s.
do you think it may be possible to share another one of your moving poems? i know that's asking alot because they are so personnal but i really did enjoy that one it helped me vent out some unwanted anger. Thanks!!!!!!!
from the bottom of my heart



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: HIV poetry new
      #34172 - 05/11/02 01:22 PM

Cindy,

I was infected by my boyfriend of many years, whom I believe knew of his HIV status even long before I met him and chose to live in denial. My daughter is negative...but very much affected by HIV as both her parents are living with it. Since him, I've chosen not to date...so you are definitely braver than I. I hope you never give up on trying to find someone...there are some wonderful people out there. And while I don't date, I do have someone that's very, very important to me. She's been my saving grace, my light out of the darkness, if you will. She's helping me to heal my soul. (She's also the only one I've ever let read my poems).
I'm glad you liked the poem. Yes, I do think we need to grieve at times...and poetry is my healthy outlet for that grief. I've just recently started writing again, I stopped for many years...but as part of my healing process, the feelings needed someplace to go...so I turn them into words.
It's amazes me to see that others can connect with what I put into writing...makes it seem not as lonely. Thank you.

Majandra








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Majandra
Newbie

Reged: 04/24/02
Posts: 5
Loc: New York
Re: HIV poetry new
      #34173 - 05/11/02 01:27 PM

Um, the reply up above is from me....I forgot to sign in. :)

Majandra



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Majandra
Newbie

Reged: 04/24/02
Posts: 5
Loc: New York
Re: HIV poetry new
      #34174 - 05/11/02 01:30 PM

Dear Anonymous,

I'm glad you liked the poem, thank you for the compliment.
I may share another soon, I just have to decide on which one. :)

Majandra



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