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HIV Life >> Women

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LoisPrice
Newbie

Reged: 03/23/12
Posts: 1
An HIV+ SENIOR
      #261971 - 03/23/12 10:26 PM

Hello reader - I have never done this before - posted I mean. I have been living with HIV for nearly 14 years without acknowledging to anyone but my doctor and my daughter that I am infected. But at the age of 62, in otherwise perfect health, I realize that perhaps I can bring encouragement to other women who are living with the disease in silence and fear. Since my diagnosis I have noticed that it is we women who are most likely to retreat into lonely solitude. I haven't found a lot of support groups that cater to people like me, who work every day, who are not gay, who have never used injected drugs, but who was married to a man who led a secret bisexual life and gave me the disease. I would like to hear from anyone who wants to share.

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riverprincessModerator
Moderator

Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1725
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: An HIV+ SENIOR new
      #261976 - 03/24/12 01:19 PM

Lois, I'm soo glad you decided to stop by here. Your right about it being difficult to get women to share about what they are dealing with . And if they just go by what the men have to deal with then they are missing the mark so to speak. Women can't go by what men experience. We have much different symptoms, side effects, internal body issues. I don't know if it's isolation or what but there are very few sites for women. And those that I did find have had no activity for a very long time. I too have been pos for 20ish years now , on meds for going on 18 yrs. And it's taken me quite awhile to find out what we as women have to deal with . Why is it never spoken about? Embarrassment? Shame? I don't know , But ladies start to speak up and be heard !

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floridamomma
Newbie

Reged: 03/30/12
Posts: 2
Re: An HIV+ SENIOR new
      #262148 - 03/30/12 10:08 AM

i can relate to ur story,im 39 ,was married for 7 yrs to a man who was also leading a secret life.he was pos when we married but never told me untill i was divorcing him.that was 14 yrs ago im now remarried w/2 kids but still cannot get over the hate i feel for my ex.i also havent told many people i do feel ashamed and i dont want my children to suffer because of my status.just curious have u forgiven?

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skier
Newbie

Reged: 04/10/09
Posts: 3
Re: An HIV+ SENIOR new
      #262278 - 04/05/12 02:11 PM

I'm also 62 and have been living with HIV for 8 years. I chose to tell everyone - family and friends. Kind of a rip the bandaid off mentality and find out who your true friends are. Turns out no one turned their back on me and I had lots of support when I needed it. Once I got over the shock and disbelief that I have HIV, I was determined to live my life normally. I try to be super healthy (diet and exercise), but other than that my life has gone on normally.


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riverprincessModerator
Moderator

Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1725
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: An HIV+ SENIOR new
      #262353 - 04/08/12 08:55 PM

You sound great skier , I would love to meet someone like you. ( noooo not a dating thing lol just an inspirational thing lol) Nothing better than enjoying life no matter what cards you got. Always keep an ace up your sleeve. lol

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lovableo
Regular

Reged: 11/22/11
Posts: 67
Re: An HIV+ SENIOR new
      #262399 - 04/11/12 12:52 AM

@Floridamomma, my ex did me the same way but I chose to forgive and keep it moving. I never let him know I forgave him but I did it in my heart. I've been positive for 13yrs. this past Jan. I have one 23yr. old son that's a deployed Marine. I've told quite a few people and they stuck around. I just seem to attract neg men though. I tell them when I find out they want a relationship with me. So far they continue to pursue me. I even married a neg man but divorced him after we didn't see eye to eye on life. I'll be 43 in Aug. I chose not to let HIV run my life. I have HIV, HIV does not have me.

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tcocoa
Regular

Reged: 07/19/07
Posts: 46
Re: An HIV+ SENIOR new
      #262657 - 04/24/12 07:46 AM

this may be a great time to start a website dedicated to women living with HIV.. women definitely go through different emotions than men and the stigma affects women more.

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karmachi
Newbie

Reged: 09/25/11
Posts: 7
Re: An HIV+ SENIOR new
      #263722 - 06/12/12 11:16 PM

If a person says something out of character, I leave them alone. Yes, it's lonely out here, but I refuse to deal with dopey people. I don't have the tolerance.

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whocanfigure
Guru

Reged: 09/01/07
Posts: 231
Re: An HIV+ SENIOR new
      #263744 - 06/13/12 11:42 AM

I am 60 yrs old and was diagnosed in 2006. I was infected by my long term boyfriend who was out fooling around. I have a fulltime job and draw a military retirement also. I don't date anymore because I am just not interested and it doesn't have to do with being positive. I live a full, energy charged, positive outlook life! I agree with you in that there isn't much out there for us as far as social groups, etc..but we are here for each other !! PM me if you would like to keep in touch.

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whocanfigure
Guru

Reged: 09/01/07
Posts: 231
Re: An HIV+ SENIOR new
      #263745 - 06/13/12 11:45 AM

I agree...I think we should start a networking site for all of us ladies out there!! Any takers???

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bakercatt
Newbie

Reged: 06/14/12
Posts: 5
Re: An HIV+ SENIOR new
      #263760 - 06/14/12 05:56 AM

I think we should do it...I no longer have friends...guess I really didnt before I got sick..anyway..no one besides my husband that gave this to me and our sons knew..then my oldest told his girlfriend and her mother is a religous zealot that got upset with me and posted my status on facebook..now alot of people know just no one important too me, I say I have forgiven him...but on other days...I just dont know...I really need some ladies to talk to bout things sooo..new web page?

Edited by bakercatt (06/14/12 06:00 AM)

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Kitchenqueen
Newbie

Reged: 09/16/13
Posts: 2
Re: An HIV+ SENIOR new
      #273938 - 09/16/13 07:30 PM

@ Skier I did pretty much the same thing, just told everybody and let the chips fall where they may. Got the same reaction as you did too. Although I found out afterwards that one of my friends, who came to visit me in the hospital and snooped in my drawers when I wasn't in my room, had already spread the word. Good thing I wasn't trying to keep any secrets.

--------------------
I'm not surviving, I'm thriving

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