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Reged: 11/17/10
Posts: 1
Loc: SC
Heterosexual Female L/T Survivor
      #253147 - 11/17/10 05:23 AM

Hi, well here goes. I am an HIV negative heterosexual female. Don't stop reading! My BFF, also a heterosexual female contracted HIV from her late boyfriend sometime in the mid 1980's. He died almost right away, 1/1/86, but my friend survived. She was a rapid progressor though; she was SICK. We thought, well everybody thought she was going to die; just like everybody else with AIDS did. But even with all the pneumonias, cryptosporidium and all the other weird stuff that she got she just kept living. She took pantamanine treatments, AZT, and got the worst case of lipoatrophy I've ever seen.
I moved to Chicago in 1995, first downtown and then to boystown which is the gay section of town and started meeting a lot of Positive people. My girlfriend came out as HIV positive and that was a pretty good time for her. We found a plastic surgeon who was doing fat transfers and he did a rather extensive round of surgeries to correct the lipoatrpohy and lipodystrophy issues, and for a while she looked great. But it didn't last. Eventually everything went back to the way it was.

I moved to SC in 2002 and my girlfriend lives in CT. So we both live in suburban areas now. It has been back to the dark ages since I left Chicago. We have told everybody here she has lupus. They know there is something wrong, she doesn't look right, even though she is one of the happiest, most upbeat people you will ever meet. She has this laugh, well everybody loves her. But we both know, there will be a stigma against her here. She comes and stays for four to six weeks at a time; she would be talked about.

I am out here checking out this web site for her. Part of her survival strategy has always been walling off the disease into a corner and shutting that door. I can't go in there, I don't have this disease. When she's in there, I can only stand on the other side and wave my support wave. But I'm on the other side, looking in.

Is there anybody out there like her? Not necessarily female hetero and long term, but any of those? I can see how alone she is in all of this. She got on POZ had a bad experience. So here I am.

Also, I am interested in connecting with people who are negative but love someone who is positive, is whatever way they do. I don't care. I need to share this, what it is like for me too. I remember years ago, when we didn't know that much yet, the first time I took a fork she was eating off of to taste what it was she was eating. She looked at me like I had lost my mind, to take something that had been in her mouth and put it in mine.

Anyway, I could just go on and on, I guess I need to talk more that I thought I did...


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Reged: 03/05/05
Posts: 107
Re: Heterosexual Female L/T Survivor new
      #254461 - 02/20/11 10:42 PM

My heart goes out to both you and your friend. I am a female that has been pos for over 20 years and on meds for over 16. I know how these meds can affect our bodies . And for women it just seems harder , nothing against you guys but women have different issues . We are judged by our looks more than men are. I went through the facial fillers . I have lost the shapley legs I once had , the tight butt fell off and my stomach comes and goes. The hardest part is to learn to accept that we are more than the outter shell. Foucus on the beautiful qualities and that will outshine the negative. Sure there are still the days when I look in the mirror and just want to throw a towel over it , but you know what alot of negative people do too. And the best way to be there for your friend is to be just that , her friend. Stick up for her when those that are cruel whisper . I've lived with people being creul all through my childhood. And seems adults are just as bad as when they were kids. Show your friend the love in your heart . Lift her and yourself up always to the Lord for He loves you both more than anyone ever could. And if you would like to correspond I'm at

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Reged: 02/23/11
Posts: 1
Re: Heterosexual Female L/T Survivor new
      #254532 - 02/25/11 04:45 PM

Hi there,
I am a heterosexual negative fe male, I live in T X. I understand what your friend is going through. The man tha i love is HIV positive. If my friends knew they would think that I was crazy but I would not trade him for the world. It is hard keeping secrets and it wears on you. If your friend needs a friend, i am available. My email is She is very lucky to have a friend like you, you two are very lucky to have each other. Take care.

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