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Amoapoka
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Reged: 12/14/09
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Posts: 2
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Loc: Ghana
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NEED YOUR ADVICE AS WELL AS A MAN WHO CAN COPE UP
#248790 - 12/15/09 07:14 AM
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Hi All,
I have been to this site before but did not get any good results because people are not really what they suppose to be.
Please all concerned people out there, kindly help me with this problem, I'm a 30 years lady who is HIV Positive (+) and do not denied the fact that I am who I am. I met these guy who is HIV Negative (-) and told him straight away who I am. He promise Heaven and Earth to make me happy and will marry at all cost. We've been there for a year now and he has really been wonderful but for the past month now he is asking me for something I can't really offer him. He has daughter whom I have accepted as my own daughter. She has also accepted me too as a mother and I love her for that.
The whole problem now is; my man is asking me to let him have a Son with another woman before we get marry cos he loves me and can't live without me, same old phrases men give to women. I have accepted that because of my positive stage. The only worry now is he wants to do that with my own closest friend who has also suffered so many hearts breaks. I can't really bring my self to hurt my friend. She can't be our baby making machine. He promised to live her immediately she delivers and we take the baby but God,this is not right at all saying he will compensate her.I have tried to let him understand my feelings but he won't. And my friend is now more confused and surprised when my man said I'm aware he wants her. She is also worried why in God's name will I allow my husband to be to date her in addition to me. I weep all night since this incident. I have ask him to let us end it and he will find himself a perfect woman but he won't accept that and he won't allow us to adopt a Son. He says he won't adopt whiles he can make babies himself. I tried to let him understand I belong to a different world now and he also belongs to different world but he won't understand. I really prefer him doing it with any other woman not my friend. HOW? My friend is asking a whole lot of questions which non of us is ready to give her the exact cause of adding her to our relationship. In my heart I quit the relationship at the moment cos I don't want him to one day tell me is OVER. In fact, I will just end it all to resolve my suffering.
Friends and love ones out there, I need your advice through this e-mail address. I'm really down and I know it will affect me a little. Should I let him go ahead or not? Or I should stand on us breaking up and move on whether marriage or no marriage?
If you are working, loving and caring man out there too who is also HIV positive please get in touch.I really don't want to spread it. I don't mind the number of children you already have. Love me, love my dog...If I love you, I should really love any one part of your life.
Hope to hear good advices from all out there. These is the email id (sibonome20@yahoo.com
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First off whose to say the baby would even be a boy. He could end up with another girl.
Secondly, why not just have the baby with you? If you are on medication during pregnancy the odds are very good of having a baby that is not infected with HIV.
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Amoapoka
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Newbie
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Reged: 12/14/09
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Posts: 2
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Loc: Ghana
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Say again, my good friend. He says pregnancy has its own complications and he does not want to add more problems to my condition. Saying he loves me and not want to see me suffer and if unfortunately the baby becomes infected what will we do about that? Only God knows his intentions.
That is really my guys excuse. I'm on medication. I told him to have hope and let us try but he says No. I'm really worried.
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He sounds as if he's feeding you a bunch of BS. I'd cut him loose myself.
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You can carry and a completely healthy child with him. Look into Sperm Washing and or artificial insemination (you'll have to be on meds). These are options. Don't complicate your life by letting you friend have his child. Talk to your physician. You do have options.
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OobiemoObie
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Regular
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Reged: 10/21/09
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Posts: 31
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Loc: Hawaii
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That is the most terrible idea I've ever heard. If he loves you, truly, he wouldn't ask to have a baby with YOUR friend. And if you loved yourself and valued this friendship you have, you wouldn't do it. With the meds available, the chances of you having a baby with HIV are small. If you simply do not want to give birth to a child, thats another story. It just doesn't make sense and it doesn't seem fair to your friend. I hope you find a better way to love each other, or to leave him, because this does not sound like a healthy relationship. I know its hard, but if I was with someone who felt that way about me and our future, I'd be scared, because it sounds like making a decision like that will never end well, no matter how much he tells you he loves you. You need to love yourself, first and foremost, and it sounds like you put yourself second. If someone said what he has said, I would leave and get our of that relationship because his excuses and intentions are controlling, demeaning, and scary.
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-OobiemoObie
Edited by OobiemoObie (01/18/10 03:56 AM)
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light001
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Reged: 02/14/10
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Posts: 9
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please dont do this to yourself ...he trying to put guilt on you while playing that feel sorry card...he is a liar and just wants whomever he can have sex with not for a baby please think about if someone came to you with this story how would you respond. I wouldn't put it pass him if he is already having sex with others. sorry to be so blunt and i know this isnt the kinda feed back you wanted but it sounds very selfish he is not thinking of you in anyway only himself. Please like everyone else is saying cut him loose dont disrespect yourself. HIV people find love all the time dont cut yourself short ...find another ...god bless and good luck
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50 year old male. Just released from prison after 32 years for something I shouldn't have been in prison for. Positive since 1991. Easy going, quiet, just looking for a serious relationship, and just wanting to enjoy the rest of my life with that someone special. No game, no hangups, no drugs. Only serious minded women that want to enjoy their life with a kind loving man, who will treat them like a queen.
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