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discrimination in the delivery room?
#243492 - 12/08/08 10:38 AM
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I have been positive for over 10 years. Now I am pregnant and in my first trimester (yay!). My doctors have been very supportive.
Over the years, I have had good doctors and bad. However I fear discrimination in the delivery room. In my experience it has always been medical professionals that can be the most ignorant about HIV. My doctors I get to pick and choose, but the other staff is just thrown at you. Some could be great but I am scared of well meaning, but ultimately under-informed nurse, misdirecting my care or being rude while I am defenseless to respond.
Would having a vocal friend or doula there help (my husband is great, but he is very quiet and non-confrontational)? Am I just over-reacting?
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LivingPoz
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Reged: 06/02/05
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Posts: 13
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Loc: Florida
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hi, I have been pos for 11 years as well and now have 2 beautiful and healthy kids, a girl 3yrs and a boy 1yr. In both occassions I didn't feel any kind of discrimination. Actually during my first delivey an Intern (I gave birth at a teaching hospital) asked me how I became pos. And quickly a nurse jumped in and told him that that was none of his business. So, in any case they were great. An advantage was that I got a private room, I don't know for sure if it was because of my condition or because I had private insurance but it makes sense. You'll be bleeding after birth so you wouldn't want to share a bathroom with another mom.
Anyways, there are other things you'll be worrying like your baby's health and everything happens so fast that if someone gives you a look or whatever just dismiss it as ignorance and concentrante in having your gourgeous baby. Is going to be the happiest time in your life so just block any negatives. Plus, as you say you have your docs and family support and that's what matters.
I really wish you the best and if you'll like to talk more send me an email.
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yes! i think there is such a lack of understanding about women with HIV in the health profession. So be prepared for ignorance and get someone who is vocal!
You know I had a friend who just had a baby in a major city. She's negative and her husband is also quiet. They just were awful with her and she felt so alone. She said she should've gotten a dula or someone who would advocate for her. She couldn't even get a sucking candy during her 22 hour labor cause she forgot in all her pain that she had them in her bag and no one remembered....plus she felt just totally alone.
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Doctors don't like you to eat/drink anything during labor in case you need to go into a c-section and have to have anethesia. It's not some arbitrary rule against women who are laboring and are HIV positive.
I was exhausted after laboring for 15 hours and started shaking from blood sugar drop. My mom and sister snuck me a few sips of soda to bring my blood sugar up and it really helped.
Instead of worrying/complaining about the medical system and how we are treated as HIV+ women, we need to step up to the plate and make things go as well as we can.
Most nurses and doctors are very supportive and kind if you are kind to them and explain your birthing desires.
I was very worried about how i would be treated in the delivery room and with all my kids the nurses and doctors were very nice. I had to be pushy and express what I needed---but it's your day to deliver a baby...so go ahead and be a diva!!!!! 
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Margaret
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Reged: 03/15/07
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Posts: 38
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Hey I hate to be the one to inform you but most women are treated like "things" when they are in Labour and sweetie it hurts its not fun you wont care if the band of the Coldstream Guards came a marching in you will just want it OVERRRRR
If someone is crappy to you tell them to GET OUT
I wouldnt want my husband with me (he wasnt)
Get a pal Mum Aunty anyone as well as your husband to be in the room and if he doesnt manage to cut to the chase
if things get a bit iffy THEN THEY WILL we are WOMEN
we rock yes!!!!!
Promise once you got the baby in your arms you forget the pain NO YOU DONT they lie I can still remember every second
Itwas worth it ever single second for my bestest personageGood luck and welcome soon to the abso joy of motherhood hehehehehe
Margaret
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