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You can't always protect them
      #200207 - 07/16/06 12:14 AM

Took my teenage son for an HIV test today. He had no risk factors. The counselor asked him why he even wanted to be tested?

He told her. Because my girlfriends parents found out my mom has HIV and they want to make sure I don't have it before I can see her again.

Now me, I would have told that mother when I talked to her to go to hell. I did tell her that it hadn't been necessary to ask my ex-husband about me when I was certainly more capable of answering questions about my own personal life than a man I have barely seen in 12 years. I'm thinking of demanding that her daughter now be tested. After all a lot of people are walking around with HIV and don't even know it. We know it's not my son, but I don't know her status. I guess I have as much right to demand a test as they did.

But my son is in love....I mean LUUUVVVEEEE...and doesn't want me to raise the what's a mother to do?

I did tell him what I thought about all this. He was in agreement. After all these years, he has a better sense of what is and isn't a risk them even some GPs. I also pointed out that with their panicked approach and their inability to understand that HIV isn't passed via casual contact it was really clear to see that if he had tested postive, they and her would have dropped him like a hot potato. He'd already thought about that.

I hurt for him. I hurt for me. I'm angry. I'm insulted. I feel totally powerless. I have tried so hard to keep my status from being an issue for him.

Two good things have come out of this.

1) We know for a fact he's negative. No surprise there.
2) He's looking at this girl and her family in a whole new light, that doesn't reflect very well off them.

I hate it when my kids have to pay for something they had no control over.

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Re: You can't always protect them new
      #200228 - 07/16/06 05:04 AM

Im too am a mother and would be angry about my child neededing to test himself to be friends or in love with anyone.
kids are kids today and they live in a society where they have to grow up very fast and there decision are not always the rigth choice as well as us adults, but we pray that all the things we teach them in life, they will take into heart when making a decision. I am glad to hear that your child knows about your condition and embraces it not for what it is but because you are his mom . How dare your childs father puts his two cents into discussing about your status. well you know they are a part of your life weather you like it or not. it is good to know that your child is old enough to understand you and your situation from your personal view. I hope your son find himself as a person and find out what is a true friend and true love before getting deep with this girl. but mom he has to make his own dicission and you can only be there to help get through any tough times that may come his way in life. Love him and be honest with him dont protect him God has that part covered.
Live ,Love and be Happy & Healthy! your in my prayers. Momchild

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