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catou
Member

Reged: 07/06/06
Posts: 13
Loc: Ontario, Canada
very nervous
      #199145 - 07/06/06 09:27 PM

I divorced two years ago after 19 years and decided that it was time to meet someone new last Fall.

I met this wonderful guy and we began dating. He had been tested negative last summer and had had one relationship with a lady for three months since then.

I have had genital herpes for the past 25 years without symptoms but we still used a condom for a while.

I had a hysterectomy in February and he was the most supportive and patient man. After my recovery, we decided that it was time to have unprotected sex as our relationship was getting much stronger.

In May, we believed that he might have been infected with Herpes from me so he got tested just to confirm. The herpes was negative, but the he came out HIV +. What a shock!

We can now retrace that he had acute HIV seroconversion symptoms in September and went to the doctor, but obviously never got diagnosed at the time. They were suspecting West Nile virus instead.

I had a P24 antigen test and an Elisa 3rd generation tets four weeks after exposure and both came out negative. I had my second test at 9 weeks yesterday and I'm waiting for the result. There were fresh internal scars after my hysterectomy which makes me at even more risk.

In the meantine, my boyfriend's cell count is already at 250 so he must start taking medication already, only after 10 months of being infected.

I'm terrifed of being infected since I'm raising two young children on my own and I'm shocked that he needs medication already.

I hope that I can get support from this site to go through this.



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: very nervous new
      #199153 - 07/06/06 10:50 PM

Wow - that is alot to take in all at once - as you learn about the disease you will find it not so terrifying and I am sure he feels terrible at possibly exposing you to it. I had to start meds about 16 months after exposure (just about a month ago) and so far very little side effects. He may live a normal life and you may not even be infected! take a deep breath, focus on what's going right for you, and learn....really it is the unkowing that is so scary....if you are uninfected, the knowledge you gain will allow you to be a great support to your boyfriend, if you are infected, the learning will help you cope and figure out how to best take care of yourself (and your friend). Keep in touch and go to amazon.com to find some UP TO DATE books - seriously, things have changed so much over the years - do not get a book that is more than 2 years old or so.
Best wishes.


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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: very nervous new
      #199279 - 07/08/06 12:04 PM

have you came down with any flu-like symptoms?

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catou
Member

Reged: 07/06/06
Posts: 13
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Re: very nervous new
      #199293 - 07/08/06 02:47 PM

It's extremely hard for me to tell if I came down with any symptoms because of the abdominal hysterectomy. It's a major surgery so I was on antibiotics for a while. Also, I needed two blood transfusions after because of anemia. I was weak and in bed for a while after.

I've had a sore throat on and off for 5 months now which bothers me but I had the same thing last year so it may have nothing to do with it. I don't know.

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Understand2
Unregistered

Re: very nervous new
      #199309 - 07/08/06 04:48 PM

There are no words that can be said to erase the fact of your situation, but to be hopeful that whatever the out come that God will pull you through. I am in my own fears of the future and being a single parent. I too thought my boyfriend last year was the one. I thought that we were on are way to marriage & a child but thats not how it turned out. I will keep you in preyer along with your family. It's hard out here to go among people for help on a very touchy and disscriminating disease for we are still trying to get through race,religion,and poverty. I hope you take it one step at a time look for support groups or a counslor that you are comfortable with in sharing. You will need it along the tough times. I can tell by your letter that you have your head on right,so be strong give it to God and LIVE. We don't know when are time is up in this world but to be blessed that we are a witness today and make memories and plans for the future as if we healthy as a bear and told to live up to 100 years Love you & Be strong

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: very nervous new
      #199336 - 07/09/06 08:20 AM

Having the p24/elisa be negative at 4 weeks is a good sign. I will keep good thoughts that your most recent test will also be negative.

Even if you do end up with a postive result it does not mean the end of the world. When I first found out I had it my children were young. I was sure I was going to die and leave them alone in the world, well at least having to live with their father.

I'm now waiting to be told I'm going to be a grandmother. She's been married over a year so I figure it will happen not to far in the future.

I'm glad that you have found this wonderful man to be with. Don't let HIV ruin that for you. If you test negative, just make sure to use condoms each and every time. There are many people in serodiscordant relationships having the time of their lives!

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: very nervous new
      #199740 - 07/12/06 02:39 PM

Catou, I am not a woman but saw your response to my Rapid Testing in Canada. Wanted to make sure you know that your 4 week p24 testing negative is very encouraging since the average is 21-25 days and the p24 can usually pick it up quicker. Check you Woman Hassle Free Clinic Toronto and see that you are also eligible for rapid testing. WHEN your 9 week comes in negative you will be able to test again at 12 weeks rapid and be able to move on. You can take your boyfriend as I took my wife (not a proud moment but we are working on things) for support. Remember the virus is not passed easily and just because you were exposed does not mean you have the virus. 1/1000 chance per exposure is the stat I have heard. So think about it the low chance of catching the virus and the fact that you tested at 4 weeks with a P24 means that the odds are really in your favor!! Good Luck.

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catou
Member

Reged: 07/06/06
Posts: 13
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Re: very nervous new
      #199752 - 07/12/06 03:54 PM

Thank you for you kind words, Regret101. I really appreciate the fact that you took the time to write on both forums.

I'm hanging in there and actually am discovering through this ordeal that there are lots of wonderful people out there willing to help.

You've gone through a rought time recently so celebrate your good news with your wife!

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catou
Member

Reged: 07/06/06
Posts: 13
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Re: very nervous new
      #200068 - 07/14/06 12:50 PM

I just wanted to share with you all that I received my 9 week Elisa test result this morning and it's negative. Things are looking better for me. I will still do a test at 14 weeks and then one at 6 months because of my very high risk, but I feel a lot better..

Thanks for all your support.

Catou

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Regret101
All Star

Reged: 07/07/06
Posts: 83
Re: very nervous new
      #200075 - 07/14/06 02:59 PM

TOLD YA!!! Congrats Catou. I am really really glad to hear your results. You really have very very little worry about other than making sure you and your boyfriend and little one move on and live well.
Heard stats like 99% would test postive at 8 weeks never mind 9! I too will do the 12 week test and then be able to "let go" of the anxiety.
All who are hear poz or neg. are amazing and we who ask for help are truly blessed to have the support in our time of need!

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dj1979
Guru

Reged: 03/02/06
Posts: 276
Loc: rural upstate NY
Re: very nervous new
      #200076 - 07/14/06 03:02 PM

Congrats on your negative test - just learn from this experience & practice safe sex!!! I had no close calls - just one affair with the wrong person, ARS, HIV positive. Now I have an overwhelming desire to educate others.....

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Virtuous Woman
Unregistered

Re: very nervous new
      #202791 - 08/07/06 07:59 PM

Precious, why do I believe that he already had the virus and knew it? I don't know why, anyway, try your best not to be nervous, I found out that someone I was trying to get with, was diagnosed with herpes as well and I've been diagnosed with HIV for 12 yrs. have GOD in my life, and he protected me, he protected me because I would've been diagonosed with 2 STD's. I bless GOD that I didn't sleep with him and have been abstinent for 3 yrs. Please don't be offended. however stop sleeping with this man and he's not your Husband, you have to stop settling for less and start choosing better choices, sweetheart. You are so much worth more than you think. We as women young and old, should focus on what's more important a penis or our joy and strength, I'm a woman and I've been promiscuous since 15-35, I woke up, stop believing that you need a man to make you whole! When it's time to make love with your HUSBAND, it will happen this is for me too, even though I'm living for GOD and finally waiting and not me finding him. Trust me it is so beautiful and you don't have to worry about mess. Anyway I pray that you will seek God and be happy, GOD loves and adores you and desires for you to make the right choice.

Be Blessed!!

Virtuous Woman

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