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HIV Life >> Women

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Anonymous
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Telling a guy you're dating
      #18668 - 06/23/01 03:29 PM

I've been dating a guy for a few weeks. No sex or even kissing. I feel so stupid that I didn't tell him yet that I am positive. any ideas about how to bring it up? I'd love to hear from someone who was in same predicament--with a happy ending though! I really like him!
CJ



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Anonymous
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Re: Telling a guy you're dating new
      #18812 - 06/29/01 01:56 PM

Well if you haven't had sex with him yet, he must really like you.
Just bring it up in a gentle way. There's no easy way! He might freak. Or he might just be that extraordinary guy you are looking for!



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Anonymous
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Re: Telling a guy you're dating new
      #18875 - 07/01/01 07:54 PM

I was in the same perdicament as you. I was dating a guy I really liked and even had sex with him before I revealed my status to him. The sex was protected and the condom didn't break but I was assuming that this relationship would not last so it wouldn't matter if I was positive or not. Until oneday I realized I was falling in love with him and I thought I owed him the truth. After a couple of drinks, of course, we sat down, and I told him that I was exposed to Hiv and don't know yet my status. He took a deep breath began to tear, and then pulled me closer. He said I'm not going no where, and I am going to be right by your side. I was in shock! He is great looking, young, he could have any girl he wanted but he choose to stay with me. Plus I have children. There are truly miracles in disguises. Later on I found out that his mother died of this disease, and he was a Hiv peer counselor, and he didn't fear this disease. We are still together 3 years later and we use condoms most of the time. Just thought you should know that there are men out there who are not ignorant. Tell him the truth.



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Anonymous
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Re: Telling a guy you're dating new
      #18896 - 07/02/01 04:20 PM

You're a lucky woman...I wish that there were more like your guy to go around.
Stay happy and healthy.

28 year old female



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Anonymous
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Re: Telling a guy you're dating new
      #18965 - 07/06/01 07:56 PM

Wow. What a dreamy story. IF only it happened most of the time....it's such a scarey thing to tell a guy. I always think they'll hit me or something. One guy just got red in the face and walked away like I was invisible.
Not Telling Anyone EVER again...



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Anonymous
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That's Awful... new
      #19021 - 07/09/01 09:49 AM

Just read your note about the guy that walked away. That is so rude! That man must not have had any feelings to do something that cold. That's unexcusable. My guess is you really wouldn't want to be with someone that cold and icy anyway. Don't give up, there are some good ones out there that you can be honest with.

Best of luck and health to you.



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Anonymous
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Re: Telling a guy you're dating new
      #19658 - 07/23/01 07:28 PM

so what was your status anyway then? Did you end up negative or positive? while it is a storybook romance I just would like all the facts. there is a big difference in telling someone you may have been exposed to hiv and are awaiting test results vs. telling someone you actually have hiv.



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Friend
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Re: Telling a guy you're dating new
      #20375 - 08/04/01 12:08 PM

I'm a 28 year old male, I had a risky encounter close to 10 weeks ago, no test yet, but hoping to get the courage to do it.
Ok, now to what I wanted to say. There is a lot of men out there like me that would like to get sincerity and truth on the first hand. The fact that you might be HIV + does not make any changes on your personality, character, carisma, or heart.
I have being in the street for a long time, and the risk I have taken are actually higher risk to the one I'm worried, what I'm trying to say is that, there is always a risk, for a man or a woman, telling him or her is your personal decision but it would make me feel much better if she stays with me after I confes, the fact that I care for that person just for being human will make us both learn more and enjoy every minute of it.
Love is such a powerful and stong feeling that there is nothing that would go against it, including AIDS.
Keep in mind that there are a lot of stupid and ignorant people out there (like the one that walked away from you), I bet you that he went a met another woman, but what are the possibilities of that other person being infected and telling him the truth?
I respect you for your decision and for being straight with him, dont worry about his reaction, I bet you that you still cute and that someone else will come around. Dont let people like this one affect you, they do not deserve it.

We all need to understand that it is here and we are going to have to learn how to live with it and love each other for what we are.

Good luck and stay strong. You know what, woman no matter what are the best thing God created, the fact that you can bring another life to the world, or be good systers, aunts and be sensitive makes you the greatest thing ever created.

Good luck




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Anonymous
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Re: Telling a guy you're dating new
      #20487 - 08/07/01 11:26 AM

I was positive



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Anonymous
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Re: Telling a guy you're dating new
      #20615 - 08/08/01 11:27 PM

Damn that sucks. sorry to hear about that.
I have a few questions I would like to ask you if I may.
Are you still together and what about sex?
I really want to get an idea of how safe a mixed relationship is.



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Anonymous
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Re: Telling a guy you're dating new
      #21733 - 08/31/01 07:53 PM

I've been married twice. Both times to women who were negative. I've always just told them quick and easy. Like this..

Go to dinner.
Make sure you have his/her attentions
Say something like
"It's time for a talk...I have HIV. Where does that put us."

At least it's easy and fairly successful to be honest.




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Anonymous
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Re: Telling a guy you're dating new
      #25579 - 12/14/01 11:45 PM

Boy are you lucky!!!



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Confused
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Re: Telling a guy you're dating new
      #26965 - 01/14/02 01:19 PM

I'm glad that I came on here and started reading some of the responses. I too am an HIV+ single mother of 3. I have been seeing this really great guy for the last 3 months. I have no idea how to bring up the fact that I am HIV+. We have had sex, a few times. Most of which were protected, but there was one occasion that it was not. I'm scared to death to tell him. I live in a small town, where everyone knows everyone. So my fear isn't just losing him, but other friends that I have. I still need to find the strength to tell him, BUT HOW???



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