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Mix
Newbie

Reged: 02/09/06
Posts: 8
I am sooo sad today
      #178892 - 03/08/06 08:48 AM

I knew that one day I would have to start the meds but I never thought it would be so soon. Went for my lab results today and my doctor dropped the bombshell. My CD4 count has dropped drastically (from 380 to 219 ) and i have to start my meds A.S.P. The reality of being poz has finally sunk and I am just hopeful I do not have any reactions.

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rain05
Fanatic

Reged: 01/24/06
Posts: 67
Loc: MD
Re: I am sooo sad today new
      #178958 - 03/08/06 06:54 PM

We will all be here for you mix. I personally haven't started meds yet . But a lot of people on this board have and they are great to talk with. Was it 3 months between your two labs?

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: I am sooo sad today new
      #179270 - 03/11/06 07:43 AM

Your facing those mental issue that seems to go along with starting medication.

It's OK to feel bummed out about having to start. It can bring up a lot of feelings....guilt, remorse, fear, anger, etc. These feelings will pass and taking your pills will just become a habit. Something that takes less and a couple of minutes a day and doesn't require that you give your HIV much more thought than that.



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: I am sooo sad today new
      #179640 - 03/14/06 12:35 AM

Yes it was three months. The funny thing is I am feeling ok and except for the enlarged lymph nodes I do not have any other symptoms

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: I am sooo sad today new
      #180114 - 03/15/06 06:29 PM

Same ballpark here. I start meds truveda and viramune on the 26th. I was scared but got on Poz magazines mentor program. I've met several people there who have helped me mentally.

http://mentor.poz.com/

I just know that most of the things I worry about are not as bad as I thought they were. And if children can take these meds and still play, I can take them and be alright.

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POSITIVE IN DC
Unregistered

Re: I am sooo sad today new
      #180186 - 03/15/06 10:39 PM

Hey - buck up! I went for a number of years without having to take any meds and was thrilled to be able to just keep tabs on my viral load and T cell count and sit back and watch. Eventually I had to go on meds (about 6 months ago actually) and my life has barely changed at all - except that my viral load is now almost undetectable and my T cells have gone up considerably. A better way to look at going on meds is to thank God (or maybe the scientific community would be more like it) that you have the wondeful option of taking advantage of the drugs that are out there available to you. I did have a few side effects (rash, dry skin and some really cool dreams) after starting meds but all of that has long since gone away - and today I take 2 pills each evening around midnight (that's when I go to sleep) and I really don't pay much more attention to it than that. Don't be afraid. Be happy that there are solutions to HIV and that you have access to them. Be brave and move forward and take control and live and learn. Good luck and best wishes.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: I am sooo sad today new
      #180197 - 03/16/06 12:03 AM

Hey all,

My name's Eric and I also just found out I have to start meds and am feeling really sad about it (I tested poz about a year and a half ago). I'm also going to be taking Truveda and Viramine. Just knowing that you are there and going through the same thing (and taking the same meds!) makes me feel a bit better about the whole thing. We can go through it together, kay?

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: I am sooo sad today new
      #180215 - 03/16/06 07:57 AM

Dear friend,

Forget the sadness and smile. Try... just little bit hard. I can figure how you feel, but don't give up. Look, I'm positive since 1999 and I've being have blood analysis. On april, 3th, my infectologist will decide. My cels count is about 803 ( excellent) after a pneumonia, diahrreia, a deep depression, cocaine abuse, anal codiloma, sinusitis, etc... And I'm here. And the fact to start early the Haart therapy doesn't mean THE END. AIDS IS NO LONGER A DEATH SENTENCE. If you need psychological assistence, look for it. It's difficult and nobody has the "right" to say: you must keep cool. It's an obligation. If you wanna talk to me, send me a mail. My e-mail address is reboucas73@hotmail.com. I'm brazilian, 39 years old, journalist retired. My name is Walter. Love, peace, health and don't worry about meds. Live each day happily.

love,

Walter

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: I am sooo sad today- I felt that way... new
      #180216 - 03/16/06 08:00 AM

Mix,
I tested positive Jan 05 and had to start meds in Dec 05. I was a basket case, again. All I could think about was how I would have to take meds forever... I felt like dying all over again. My appointment finally came (I am in a study BTW) and I had my blood drawn and I rec'd the meds. I admit the first week sucked, but then by my next lab draw (2 weeks) my VL was <200. I felt better after that first 2 weeks more energetic and my lymphnodes got smaller. I felt sharper, too. I didn't realize how F@*!ing tired I was. By the 6 week blood draw I was undetectable (<50) and my CD4 was 765 (from 189)! Numbers like that, my family, and just the way I feel keep me motivated. I only think about meds for a second @ 9pm. I take them. I am done. I win. HIV loses. ;)
My Advice? If you can afford a 4 day weekend to help get used to your meds and maybe a prescription from you MD for naseua, and don't forget the Immodium! Check www.aidsmeds.com (i think) they have an article called "Tummy Trouble". Peace.
- Amber

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: I am sooo sad today new
      #180217 - 03/16/06 08:13 AM

Stay with it.. its so encouraging that so many people offer each other support here. My cd4 is hovering around the 300 mark and my vl is around 10000 so i am guessing i will be facing hte same situation as you soon. I ama ze myself that i cope with things now and never thought i would and hope that it will be the same after an initial adjustment when taking the tablets.. Good luck and chin up.. i,m sure you will be smiling again when you start seeing some increased numbers and your lymph nodes going down..

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AIDS2HIV
Legend

Reged: 12/19/05
Posts: 2200
Re: I am sooo sad today new
      #180220 - 03/16/06 09:10 AM

Mix..keep your chin up, it wont take long after ya start the meds, that you will feel better than ya have in a very long time, even if ya wasnt "feeling" all that bad when ya start. You will realize what many of us have, that be healthy, and feeling it, makes for great happiness. My advice is to listen to your infectous disease specialist, and adhere to your meds. Take em on time, everytime, and wow, what a difference you will see, feel, and realize. HIVers arent the only ones to have to rely on meds, so dont get down about it. I for one was saved by the meds & the doctors. With the exception of being released to work again, i have been able to do the same, and more with my life, since than. (excluding, drinking,drugs,smoking,etc..the stuff thats bad for ya anyways) If ya need to talk, you are welcome to PM me anytime....Good Luck & God Bless*

and don't be afraid to ask questions, talk to your ID doctor, or have them explain your test results (Tcells,Viral Load,etc) the more you understand, the better you will handle all this.

--------------------
Thinking about meeting someone from this site? Read my profile before you do.

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Gabriel
Unregistered

Re: I am sooo sad today new
      #180642 - 03/17/06 10:49 PM

Hi, dont be sad. There is nothing God and Virgin cant do. I am praying to them every night. I started to drink a glass of holy water (glass blessed by a priest) with a little bit of lemon. I started the treatment in October 2005 with 190 of CD4, well....praying and having faith my CD4 are now 600!! Thanks Heaven. It went up in only 4 months when doctor told me it would take years.
I wish you the best and I send you many blessing, Start praying to God and Virgin Mary if you dont do so. All the best.
Gabriel

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Anonymous1234!
Unregistered

Re: I am sooo sad today new
      #180672 - 03/18/06 03:09 AM

Same thing for me 5 months ago. Went on Truvada / Sustiva and today have undetectable VL < 50 copies. The meds work !

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graham
Unregistered

dont be new
      #180705 - 03/18/06 10:31 AM

i do not have HIV and i can not begin to understend wat you are going through.can you remanber when you wos a kid you must of belived in some thing so much it gave you hope .maybe in sant maybe in your first bike ride .but you now you can get it or do it .i dont now you and you dont now me but i think from reading your letter you have a lot of hope . and yes hope come in the forme of famaly dont think of you think of them and you will get all the power you need .i belive in the power of the mind and the love you have for live. sorry your life as just started (zoik)

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lillie
Unregistered

Re: I am sooo sad today new
      #181054 - 03/20/06 12:06 AM

HI dont be sooo sad...i've been w/hiv/aids for 13yrs. and I have had resistance to all meds...my fault, I forget to take them...so now from 900t/c my t/c went down to 250 my doc is going to start me on salvage therp. t-20,tripanivir,aptivus...I hope to stick to this regimen I mean really take it serious and take my pills everyday on time/schedule. Ask your doc if it's necessary to start you now, I know some people take natural therp. w/their anti-retrovirals, you can try that. If you get side effects diarrhea,vomit, get zofran(for nausea) or compazine it helps w/the nausea. for diarrhea get immodium. Good luck...lillie

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