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Anonymous
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finding love without losing anonymity
      #17484 - 04/19/01 08:28 PM

My question to all is how do you connect with friends and new loves when you are keeping your diagnosis a secret? I have been positive for several years and have not dated because I cannot afford to let anyone know my secret, but I am miserable, I want to feel loved and not unworthy of being loved because of this disease. I don't even have positive friends because support groups that
I have tried have been awful. please give me suggestions.



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Anonymous
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Re: finding love without losing anonymity new
      #17510 - 04/20/01 09:20 PM

Set up an account at Yahoo.com or hotmail.com
Don't give your real name or real information. Then you can put a description of yourself here and your e-mail and say what kind of man your are looking for. This way you can be in control and be anonymous. There are also many HIV heterosexual chat areas to go to meet guys. In addition, every year there are social groups you can go to--maybe even near you. First you need a support system of men or women who you can talk freely to. It's hard but if you are persistent you can find people. Just make it a priority. you can also put a description of yourself here and e-mail and you can meet other women with HIV. there is no reason to be alone!

Good luck,
Donna



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dylan
Unregistered

Re: finding love without losing anonymity new
      #17516 - 04/21/01 06:31 PM

hi i am hiv pos. female looking for friends like myself, so e-mail me back



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Valerie257
Newbie

Reged: 03/18/01
Posts: 6
Loc: New York City
Re: finding love without losing anonymity new
      #17534 - 04/23/01 12:04 AM

yes, support groups can suck, but they can also be great. it's hard finding the right one; maybe your health care provider can help you.
also, you say you are miserable and cannot afford to let friends and loved ones know your secret. perhaps the two things are related? letting a secret out can be unbelievably empowering. you may also be surprised at the reactions you get. i would suggest giving your loved ones a chance to love you. it may be hard at first, but you seem to be a tender soul, and i wouldn't be surprised to learn you have a few tender souls around you, wondering what's been up with you these past few years.
you say you can't afford it -- what exactly do you have to lose, since you say you are miserable already?
i know it's not easy -- before telling someone i'm dating, and i only tell them if i really really like them and know they're worth the risk of the pain of rejection, anyway once i've decided to tell them i lose sleep over it and can't concentrate etc. responses have ranged from one guy running away to another who didn't care to another who fell more deeply in love. i have been married to a non-poz since i found out; we are separated now over completely different issues, but i also found love with a fellow poz; all things are possible.
good luck and let me know if i can be of further help.
valerie



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Anonymous
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Re: finding love without losing anonymity new
      #17541 - 04/23/01 10:34 AM

When you say hotmail or yahoo, are there actually personals/chatrooms for HIV positive heterosexuals on those sites? I'm just curious...
Amy



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Amy
Unregistered

Where are the HIV+ Heterosexual Chatrooms? new
      #17549 - 04/23/01 04:47 PM

Where can one find these chatrooms? I may be needing to visit them soon. Am also looking for friends (male and female). :)
Amy



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Where are the HIV+ Heterosexual Chatrooms? new
      #17642 - 04/30/01 03:27 PM

www.heterochat.com is one.



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: finding love without losing anonymity new
      #25580 - 12/14/01 11:51 PM

I am in the same exact situation. I have not dated now inalmost 4 years. It sucks. I am pretty health but look terrible with this lipodistrophy, who would want to go out with someone with arms and legs like twigs??



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