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HIV Life >> Women

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Anonymous
Unregistered

I don't want to be a burden
      #1539 - 04/02/00 10:20 PM

I have only told two of my dearest friends. I feel as if when I tell people it's like I'm looking for sympathy and I will become a burden as a friend. I'm seventeen, and I don't want to bring any of my friends down. It's not really that I'm afraid they won't want to be friends with me, but it's just that I don't want them to feel sorry for me, and I don't want them to feel like they have to always be nice to me or that they have to do things for me. I feel guilty not telling, but I'm afraid I will feel even worse when I do. Has anyone felt this way



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Jennifer
Unregistered

I know how you feel new
      #1540 - 04/02/00 10:20 PM

Oh god sure i've felt that way. I'm 23 so i'm in college. I haven't told many people but I go to a support group. So I'm free at school to be normal. And in the support group I can be honest. I think you have to create your own support system --you don't have to tell everyone. Cause there is nothing they can do and really they don't know what to do. So get support from people experienced in giving it. Your friends will be confused, so first get strong yourself. That's what I did and I think it was better. I told one or two friends and told them that I was ok that I was strong and I explained what I wanted from them--like to not tell everyone and to treat me like a normal person! And that I was not going to die any time soon!!
You are strong. You just have to find your strength!
Write back!
Jennifer




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D.J.
Unregistered

Re: I know how you feel new
      #1541 - 04/02/00 10:21 PM

I just got a computer and have access to the internet. I wish I had one a long time ago because these letters are of great help. Sometimes its good to share your experience with someone who is in the same situation and understands. I'm 28years old and I found out 2 years ago. I told family and friends and sometimes I regret it, because I being now my parents and sister let me get away with anything. They no longer argue back at me and it upsets me because I didn't want to be treated differently. I admire you for going to college and continuing with your life. I would like to keep in touch with positive people like yourself. You mentioned that you go a support group that's good please inform me, because the only one I went to the people were so negative and we had absolutely had nothing in common, they were also an older. I live in NY so if you do contact me and inform me about your group. Awainting on your response

Sincerely,
DJ






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Davina
Unregistered

Re: I don't want to be a burden new
      #1542 - 04/02/00 10:21 PM

HI,I'm Davina I'm 29 years old.I found out I had HIV 2 and a half years ago.Your just a baby!I have a niece that is fifteen and talk to her about this all the time.I understand what you mean about not wanting anyone to feel sorry for you.Thats how it was for me at first.But as long as you stay yourself and don't try to make people feel sorry for you, then they will treat you just as they always have.Your friends and family love you and you need that love and support from them.Just let them know you don't want them to treat you any diffrent.
You take care and pray,you'll be just fine.

God bless you




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