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I am almost certain I have HIV
#1413 - 04/02/00 08:13 PM
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As weird as this sounds, I'm almost 100% sure I am HIV+ but I don't know for sure. I was tested in May 98 and I never got results back from my doctor. I know I could have called for my results but I could barely deal with getting the test, never mind calling up and finding out the results, which I know is going to be positive. I have several symptoms, periodontal disease, heart murmer and recently a dry cough.
To find out for sure that I do have it means my whole life will change. Not knowing for sure means I can go through a few hours without panicking but knowing for sure that I have it means every minute, I'm reminded. I've already been preparing myself as to who I would tell and how. Peoples reactions about people who have AIDS is not good.
I know that I should find out for sure, but I guess I just needed to vent.
Thanks for listening
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You know, Mary, none of your "symptoms" signify HIV--a percentage of the entire population has a heart murmur! A dry cough is meaningless. It may take courage, but find out the results!!! You may be surprised!! If you are positive you will have to take actions to take care of yourself!! Women are dying faster than men simply because they do not get treatment early enough!!! Why should only men live a long healthy life??
If you won't care about your very survival who will?????
Karen
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From your symptoms, I doubt if you have HIV. But, do find out. There are therapies, and I believe a cure will be forthcoming through theraputic vaccines. Good luck
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Jane,
I had a similar experinece in 1993. I was Absolutely possitive I was HIV +. I beleive my parnoia brought on all types of false symtoms. Last year I got the courage to be tested and I was negative. So for 5 years of my life I lived in unnecceary fear...
Either way I would have been better off to know from the start.
There is a lot more to say about this and if you are interested I will share with you or others.
Klein
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I will have to agree you are not the only one scared. Right now I can go through life somewhat happy go lucky, if it wasn't for the persisting symptoms flooding my body every day. I keep telling myself, "It's a woman's thing", or something that will explain all the symptoms away. I have developed many symptoms, dysplasia, yeast, mouth sores, that just can't be explained. I am in denial. My husband looks so thin lately, but I can't talk to him about my fears. Our relationship is the pits on a good day. I'm scared to kiss my children for fear of giving them something! Yet I have it all, a home, friends, a great job, how can I trade all that in for what may be my ultimate death sentence? I have two babies. I try to live healthily, day by day, and pray I am overreacting, etc.etc. but I honestly know I have lead a high-risk life in my teens and twenties (multiple parteners, no protection). I am kicking myself now for not being in control, because it can't happen to me? Right? I have even moved closer to a city just in case one day I can't ignore this any longer. But how do I get 100% total confidential medical? I would literally die if anyone knew. I would go to my grave telling only one or two close loved ones I had the disease. I would have an "accident death" if I was really sick so that my children could collect life insurance. Please tell me if this is what everyone feels.................
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Sami,
I know exactly how you feel. I have had a high risk lifestyle too but if you have children wouldn't you know if you are HIV+ or not. I totally understand how you feel though. You want to say something to someone except you keep it bottled up inside and just go on with life as if nothings happening. I have syptoms also and I'm pretty sure I've got it too. And no, it's not just that I'm paranoid. Does your husband have any idea about what you suspect? Please take care of yourself and I know how hard it is to figure things out. You are not alone.
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