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HIV Life >> Women

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Charlie
Newbie

Reged: 04/10/05
Posts: 8
Loc: UK
trying to have a baby with my +husband
      #139846 - 04/10/05 07:28 AM

I had been with my bf for 6months when he found out he was hiv+ He did not tell me for another 4months so i was past the window period when i got tested. I tested negative but sometimes feel thing would have been better had i tested+ I know this sounds strange but i am living with feelings of guilt that he is going through this and im not and that he thinks it is his fault that our life is the way it is. Anyway it had been 2years now and we are now married and have this great longing to have children. So in oct 2004 he went on med to bring his VL down to non detectable so i was less at risk, it worked and i got pregnant and he came off the med. But i miscarried in jan. So he is now back on med for us to try again but iam so worried about what will happen. Are we doing him harm by going on and off the med? we have been given 3months before they take him back off, what if i dont get pregnant in that time, what then?
THANK YOU for reading this and for any advice you have. X

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debtex
Legend

Reged: 03/21/05
Posts: 846
Re: trying to have a baby with my +husband new
      #139849 - 04/10/05 10:55 AM

Charlie,
I'm so glad things are working out so great with your husband and you. I don't think its soo harmful going back off his meds (but he has to be careful about resistance), if he is going to go on..he should do it for longer than a few months to just get you pregnant. That is alot of room for resistance if he goes on for a few months, then goes off for a few months. Its also important that he stay in care all the time with his doctors, so he can monitor how the virus is doing. (he probably does).but if he were to go on for like 1 or 2 yrs it would be better than a few months.
I'm glad to hear you are going to have a baby!! I have a 9 month old, and it will be great. But what you really should be aware of, is that, he will need to get his "sperm washed" in order to be clean of hiv. Because his viral load is low, doesn't lower the risk of transmission for him to have a baby. The virus could be in his sperm (and that would not be detected by his blood work). So both you and him should talk to his doctors about this "sperm washing". For poz women, they would need to be on meds (to keep from passing in the blood), but for men, to be sure it is not in the sperm, they have to have their sperm washed. I've seen many couples (with poz men) have babies by sperm washing, so it is very commong. I'm sorry to hear about the baby you lost, I know it must be devistating, and you will hear that little pitter patter and love it, and your husband will be so excited,he will be so in love with his baby that he will not feel so guilty about his life, because he will want his baby to be happy. Please take care, and God Bless you both.

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river
Expert

Reged: 03/05/05
Posts: 107
Re: trying to have a baby with my +husband new
      #139854 - 04/10/05 03:43 PM

Hey Charlie, I am very happy for you and your hubby. I know losing a baby is very difficult. I had to lose mine when preg 15 yrs ago . But knowa days it is much different. So go ahead build your family and may all of this make your lives together even more special.

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Charlie
Newbie

Reged: 04/10/05
Posts: 8
Loc: UK
Re: trying to have a baby with my +husband new
      #139855 - 04/10/05 04:05 PM

Thank you for your advice, we are going to the doc this week and i will ask him about the med. We have been told about sperm washing but because we live in the UK we would have to pay £5,000 for each treatment and that is something we just cant affored to do, so the only other thing is risking it with the med. Right now the want for a baby is greater than the fear. Congratulations on your baby, what a wonderfull blessing. XX

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: trying to have a baby with my +husband new
      #140195 - 04/16/05 09:30 AM

Read through the materials here:
http://www.thebody.com/whatis/women_pregnancy.html#tips



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