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Men don't want to talk about safe sex
      #1351 - 04/02/00 11:20 PM


I'm a 38 yr-old divorced mom of one 13 yr-old daughter. I enjoyed
making love to my " missionary " spouse more than any partner
since and before him. I can't meet one man who's willing to bring
up the "C"ondoms word or AIDs first in a conversation. Most men
act as if it's a womens problem or gay disease. I'm sick and
tired of educating men that it's everyone problem and anyone can
have this virus. Lately in my gym, I've been noticing my male
friends are joking about anal sex with their girlfriends and
wifes. Some of my girlfriends even speak of engaging in this type
of sex with their partners. What the hell is going on! I've
recently met a very wealthy man who spoke of his affection for
this kind of sex. I truely find this sort of sex to be self
serving,dirty and dangerous. I believe many bisexual men are
hiding their desires to be open and are instead finding women and
girls with low self esteem to perform this selfish act. I have
decided to become celibate until I have put my daughter in
college. And in the meantime focus on volunteer work and
investing my money in an IRA. I realize now that I've been
Frighten to life, not to death.

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Re: Men don't want to talk about safe sex new
      #1352 - 04/02/00 11:20 PM


I think there is a serious problem with "closet gays" brewing.
These men, sometimes married and/or sexually active with women
are putting themselves and their partners at great risk. Because
they are afraid of being stigmatized for their true feelings,
they hide them. They are therefore less likely to be tested for
HIV, and are probably missing the educational messages on safe
sex and prevention.

Our society has become somewhat more accepting of homosexuals
over the past number of years. More enlightened heteros are
realizing that there is nothing "wrong" with being homosexual,
its just "different". This has probably also allowed some of the
men who would have probably stayed deep in the closet, hiding
behind their wife and 2.5 children to venture out and explore
their other desires.

Unfortunatly, during this initial age of opening up, there will
be those who are afraid to admit to others or even themselves
what their true orientation is, and will tune out all the safe
sex messages being targeted at their particular risk group.

Whatever the reasons, it is WRONG. Infidelity, especially in a
high risk lifestyle shows a complete lack of respect for the life
of one's partner. As an example, I know of a guy who likes anal
sex, always makes his partners wear condoms, but has never been
tested because he's afraid his wife might find out.

I do tend to agree with you that anal sex is dirty and dangerous.
Aside from the risk of disease, there is a greater risk for
trauma to the person receiving. I really don't agree that it's
self serving. If both participants enjoy it, then it obviously
isn't just self serving.

Celibacy is probably not the answer, but suspicion of someone's
past is a good thing. Always use condoms, and don't ever let
anyone make you to do something you don't want to do. Its your
life, and the future of your 13 year old daughter you should be
concerned about first. Just don't shut out a piece of your own
life due to fear.

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