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chantal
Unregistered

I lost my husband to AIDS
      #1345 - 04/02/00 07:13 PM

Hi, my name is Chantal. I'm 36 y.o. and live in Quebec, Canada. I
have been HIV+ for 4 years now and have lost my husband to
complications from AIDS last January. My husband would have been
35 on October 29 and it's a sad date for me. I feel very
depressed these days (getting cold here in Canada) and it's hard
to go on living when your reason for living is not there anymore.
I try to make new friends on the Net who have the condition.
Here's my story: Back in November 1992, Sylvain and I had just
bought our first house and we were pretty excited. To be able to
buy the house, we had to sell our life insurance. So far so good.
Then he got sick with meningitis and shingles, and they found out
he had HIV. Complete shock! We had been together for 3 years,
each faithful, no drug use, no transfusion (my husband had had a
one-night stand in 1987, two years before we met and I had been
celibate for quite a while). Everything was fine until December
1994, when he was diagnosed with Kaposi's Sarcoma. Then the
circus of chemotherapy (for him, at least) began, with no real
results. So Sylvain stopped the chemo and the KS spreaded like
the pest all over his legs and body (but not his face). By that
time, I was suffering from a burn-out and depression and had to
leave work for a while. During that time, I took care of Sylvain
the best I could while trying to take care of me at the same
time: hardly feasible! Finally, Sylvain died on January 4, 1996,
36 hours after leaving the house to go to the hospital to die.
Since then, I've had to go through bankruptcy, the loss of my
job, the loss of the house. Life has not been easy for me, but I
guess it's not for anyone else either. I'm still trying to cope
with my depression, and I am not working (am on disability) at
the moment. If you would like to e-mail me, feel free to do so at
cfiset@pandore.qc.ca.




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David Matheny
Unregistered

Your post was like reading a page from my journal new
      #1346 - 04/02/00 07:14 PM

O,

Your article was like rading a page out of my own journal. Having
been exposed to HIV for many years but only knowing when the
symptons began which caused my life to chane. Having to sell my
dance studio (which was the love of my life), giving up my nice
new car, going through a bankrupcy and now strugling with what
has been available to me by social srvices; and thank God for
them (in my case).

I understand the depression, because I fight it everyday. Wheter
it is just from the fact that I am having to get kemo therapy,
have HIV, or that I want to be a more productive person. If I let
it it could permeate my life. In fact I am curently thinking
about seeking a therapist. It sure couldn't hurt!

People in on situation are know for conquering the challenge and
the horror that they are going thru but iit is extremity of our
experiences defining the incrdiable people that we are. These are
the trials and tribulation that life has thrown at us. We have
wondeful things to contibute, fulfilling relationships to
experience and the many joys that life has to offer (we've gotten
the worse, its time for the best). And just to take a twist....
They could cure ADIS tomarrow and the whole dynamic would change.

It is great to be able to share with you and all the others that
are on the form. I can also be e-mailed at dbmatheny@hotmail.com
and love to get the messgages. Sincerely, David B. Matheny
dbmatheny@hotmial.com




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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: I lost my husband to AIDS new
      #1347 - 04/02/00 07:14 PM

Chantal
I am a woman with AIDS and I have been depressed too and it is worse because I am also not working. Work is very important to give one a sense of worth and productivity. I am thinking of doing some volunteer work but not in the area of AIDS. Although there are many opportunities to volunteer with AIDS organizations, I feel that it is good to diversify and not have our whole lives consumed by HIV/AIDS. Have you considered volunteering? Also, have you considered St John's Wort? It is a natural anti-depressant. Stay well and stay strong. You are not alone.




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