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HIV Health and Treatment Issues >> Treatment & Side Effects

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mentaluproar
Newbie

Reged: 08/15/08
Posts: 1
Its all happening too fast
      #241409 - 08/15/08 02:32 PM

I was diagnosed last month, after dating a positive for 2 years. I have been tested every 6 months and nothing has ever shown up, except for various other STDs my ex brought home to me. We used protection and I was there for him. (Actually, I joined the FightAIDS@home project because of him.) Now, 6 months after the break up, I tested positive.

It's like being punched in the chest, by an angry soccer mom. You know, it doesn't hurt, but you are in shock and don't really know how to respond. I couldn't breathe or move once I heard the news. I went to the clinic thinking "lets get this over with" and left without anything in my head at all.

Yesterday I got my numbers and met my doc for the first time. I was told that he would likely order a second set of labs to determine my baseline CD4 and that this first visit would likely be more of a start up thing.

He didn't order a second set of labs. My CD4 was at 300, and the viral load was 500,000! He put me on Atripla and warned me about nightmares and diareheaa and all the lovely horrors that occur when you are put on something new. This whole thing took about 15 minutes tops. Again, I felt like I was punched in the chest, but this time by a very fast-talking Indian man who refers to me as "my friend" at the end of each sentence, as if it helps.

It's becoming increasingly irritating when people compare it to diabetes. You can't transmit diabetes, stupid asses! Diabetes goes out of control and costs you your pant size, an organ or two, maybe a foot. If I don't manage my treatment properly, this could kill me. Even if I do, I can transmit it!

I'm not ready for all of this. It's just happening way too fast! How could my viral load be so high right away?

What do I do when I get sick now? Right after I left, a friend and I went to a pizza place and left with food poisoning. (From pizza?) I didn't know those colors existed in nature. -_- There was pus too though. He just asked about discharge too! My body has become a car! Worse, a GM! The second I leave the doc, something else goes wrong!

I had my first fight over this already, with a coworker. She raised hell because I had a bottle of purell at my register (I work retail) and it became a big thing. I hate that woman. Flu season is coming and getting in the habit of using that periodically seemed like a good idea.

What should I do when I get sick now? What if I vomit up my meds?

Edited by mentaluproar (08/15/08 03:30 PM)

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RevAnn
Guru

Reged: 08/17/06
Posts: 245
Loc: fort myers, florida
Re: Its all happening too fast new
      #241623 - 08/25/08 10:21 AM

First, take a deep breath! The first year can be very scary. Lots of new things to learn and mixed messages. You are going to notice every little thing about your body, because you will become self aware, however, remember that things that are happening would happen even if you didn't have HIV. Just be sure to find a good drand talk to him/her. You will begin to know what is "normal" and what needs attention.

The purell is a GREAT idea for everyone. So let her have a fit, if she wants to get the flu or a cold that is on her.

Remember, there is support out here.



--------------------
Namu-Myoho-Renge-Kyo

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