|
|
HIV+....how will I know when things will get ugly?
#67193 - 07/08/03 11:58 AM
|
Reply
|
Quote
|
|
|
Hello.
For the past couple of years I have had sexual relations with sex workers because of my unsightly appearance. I have always used a condom (although not always correctly) during intercourse but have engaged in unprotected oral - both giving and receiving. Because of this, I am HIV positive. Yesterday I completed a Home Access Test just to get the official word, but I am positive.
My question is this - what specific symptoms are there to let one know when things will get ugly. I have read accounts of people suffering from AIDS, and I want to die with my dignity intact.
I have read about the "meds" that are available to forstall the eventuality of AIDS, but personally couldn't take the daily side effects (non-stop diarrhea and vomiting, disfigurement from fat displacement, etc.) So meds aren't an option for me. I would want to live an active life while I am still reasonably healthy, and then bow out from my own hand before the nightmare of AIDS.
What symptoms should I look for? Wasting? Night sweats? Lesions?
Or should I go by laboratory numbers? Perhaps wait until my T-Cell count drops to a certain number and then finish myself?
Any help would be greatly appreciated. Have a nice day.
Post Extras:
|
|
|
|
If you are a guy then it's really hard to get...even from a sex worker. Your risk is greater for other sexually transmitted diseases. You should get tested for gonorrhea, etc. I bet you're negative for HIV!!!
(in any case, this site has plenty of information about HIV!)
Post Extras:
|
|
|
|
Thanks, I appreciate your good wishes and optimism. But lets face facts - I am positive. Look at Thailand and all of the men who have contracted HIV from sex workers. Case closed....unfortunately.
Post Extras:
|
|
|
|
Yeah, but you're not in Thailand are you? Also it's not that easy to get!
Post Extras:
|
|
|
|
Until you actually test postive there is no reason to worry about the rest. Kinda putting the cart before the horse.
Post Extras:
|
|
|
|
I just want to know where people are not reading that this guy is HIV positive? If you actually read his post you will find that he knows for sure he is HIV positive.
Post Extras:
|
|
|
|
I know that I am positive. I just took the Home Access test and wasted my money because it gave me a false negative. There's no way I am negative - I've engaged in way too much sex with prostitutes. Its impossible that I am negative. I am positive.
So does anyone know what symptoms I should look for so I know when things will get ugly and then I can finish myself off with dignity?
Thanks.
Post Extras:
|
|
|
|
Ahhhh....another worried well invading a board designed for people that actually test postive.
You didn't get a false negative. I wouldn't say finding out you ARE NOT positive is a waste of money. Seems like you would be overjoyed.
Post Extras:
|
|
|
|
No. He's just like so many others. So sure that he is positive that now he can't believe his good luck to find out he's negative. You asked how we knew? We could see this because his first post was typical of a Worried Well. 'I'm HIV positive, but I just sent off my test'. He clearly told us that he didn't know for sure by that comment. The people that posted to him were correct. He didn't have any results as you can see by his new post of disbelief over the fact he's not infected.
Post Extras:
|
|
|
|
Im sorry if I offended anyone by posting on the wrong board. Yes, I did test negative with a home access test, but I seriously doubt the results and I am still freaking out.
I have read elsewhere on the internet that all home tests aren't very accurate. Is this true - even for the Home Access FDA approved one I did? Can I put validity in my test result? I have had a long history with prostitutes and find it very hard to believe I am negative. I know I am positive. I am positive.
Post Extras:
|
|
|
|
Well if you aren't going to believe the results from Home Access, then you better go get a blood test done at your local clinic or doctors office. Maybe then you will believe what we already know. You tested negative. Telling yourself over and over that you know you are positive doesn't make it a fact. A reactive test result make it a fact.
Post Extras:
|
|
|
|
There is a test for guilt go get one. I am sure you will test positive. GO SEE A SHRINK.
Post Extras:
|
|
|
|
I agree with most of the other posters - you are suffering from a severe case of guilt. You're feeling that, because of your behavior, there is no way that you could NOT be positive. The truth is however, that you ARE probably negative.
Stop the home test crap - go to a doctor and get an actual test. I have been in a relationship for 8 years with the man of my dreams and he just found out he was positive. Well, I just found out yesterday that I'm NEGATIVE, and I've been giving him unprotected oral sex on a very regular basis for years! It's very hard (but not impossible) to contract HIV from oral sex.
Please stop speculating and get some expert advice! And as for not wanting to go on the meds because of side effects - you won't know if YOU will have side effects until you actually try the medications. You may go on meds and have no side effects and live for DECADES if not the rest of your natural life. Please, again, get some professional help!
Post Extras:
|
|
Brandon
|
|
Regular
|
|
|
|
|
Reged: 04/02/03
|
|
Posts: 26
|
|
Loc: California
|
|
|
Hey UglyGuy... Wow... it was like a tennis match reading through this thread... back and forth... the most excitement I've possibly had all evening. : - ) Some good stuff said so far, don't let the guilt over ride common sense, you've tested neg if you really believe it can't be, then I would suggest you not put anyone else at risk while you confirm it. Also keep in mind there is a period of time, geneerally six months, where the virus can remain dormant and undectected. It's a good idea to test and again six months later. Save your money, go to a clinic. Maybe you should take this opportunity to re-evaluate your life, make some positive changes, you might check out a sexual compulsives group for help. Whatever the outcome you're not alone in this. God Bless
"faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" Heb 11:1
--------------------
"faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" Heb 11:1
Post Extras:
|
|
|
|
OK, here is my answer to your problem, I am a medical student but I will try my best to help!
You think you are ugly and you have to go to sex worker to have sex, are you unhappy?? or maybe even depressed? Anxiety problem and depression very often comes hand in hand, and your low self-esteem might have caused you to become unhappy, maybe you are not as ugly as you think, you really shouldn't judge a person you see form the outside, you need to believe in yourself, goodlooks isn't everything.
What you need to do is to go and find help from a psychiatrist, that doesn't mean I think you are mad, instead I think you need to have your symptoms and worries analysed, reviewed and treated, there are lots of things the medical profession can do to treat anxiety problems and very often patients look back to their old-self and wondered why they were so down and caused so much pain to themseleves.
You had a negative test using the home asscess kit. OK it could have been a false negative, but have you think on the other side? That it was a true negative test? which is far more likely then a false negative.
You have safer sex all the time, right? you always use a condom, right? so why do you think you have to be positive again?
Please go and speak to your doctor if you haven't already done so, thats why we train so long and hard, to help people!
Post Extras:
|
Previous
Index
Next
Flat
Threaded
