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HIV Life >> I Just Tested Positive

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behoovy
Newbie

Reged: 09/14/12
Posts: 4
21 and positive
      #266572 - 09/14/12 06:58 PM

Hi

A week ago my preliminary test came back reactive, and yesterday the WB confirmed it. I had my first visit with my doc today where they took a gallon of blood. They're doing a full screen STD test on me among other stuff. I'm really anxious. It would be a really big bummer having another thing on top of the HIV.

I was so dumb. I really wish I would have bolted out of the door the moment someone suggested doing it without a condom. But it was really easy to talk me into it. I had/have really low self esteem and just wanted people to like me. Ask me to stay the night. As you can see, that didn't work out too well lol.

Silver lining to all this is that my family now knows I'm gay and about my status. They're very supportive. It is a humongous weight off my shoulders. My mood changes all the time. During good times my thoughts are like "I'm going to use this as a catalyst to better myself and do amazing things etc" and during bad times... use your imagination lol. I'm kind of going through a bad time right now. After this month things will be better. I hate waiting for all these test results, it's the worst part of this process. After I know for sure if I'm a walking drug resistant std factory or not and start taking meds I'll feel better.

Sorry for rambling



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riverprincessModerator
Moderator

Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1659
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: 21 and positive new
      #266573 - 09/14/12 08:21 PM

You can ramble as much as you like. It's not easy at first . But to have all these blood tests , see it as a good thing. Don't worry you won't run out of blood. You can ramble to me if you want all you want. I talk to alot of ramblers. lol

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heart
Moderator

Reged: 09/01/12
Posts: 41
Loc: united states
Re: 21 and positive new
      #266576 - 09/14/12 09:32 PM

Hang in there...my husband was just diagnosed 4weeks ago...it feels like sometimes you are having an out of body experience allowing your nerves get the best of you. There are so many new drugs, research that is going to help you through this trial...its awesome you have family support. You are never alone..you can always share anything here with others experience same outcomes. I will pray for you to have strength. In the meantime, take one day at a time...stay on top of all the doctors request..dont beat yourself up..there are millions like us... make sure you eat healthy, walk, and just take care of YOU...

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behoovy
Newbie

Reged: 09/14/12
Posts: 4
Re: 21 and positive new
      #266580 - 09/14/12 11:04 PM

Thank you! I'm certain I'll be fine physically, it's mentally that's gonna take the most work. I know exactly what you mean about the nerves thing. My brain has been in overdrive these past weeks. Best of luck to you and your husband! He is very lucky to have someone as supportive and understanding as you.

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behoovy
Newbie

Reged: 09/14/12
Posts: 4
Re: 21 and positive new
      #266581 - 09/14/12 11:11 PM

Thank you, I might take you up on that! I know these tests are for my own good, it's just that lately I haven't been having good luck with the results.

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riverprincessModerator
Moderator

Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1659
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: 21 and positive new
      #266671 - 09/16/12 08:06 PM

Results are just that, results. Like many things in life , we learn to put everything into perspective. We see how the cards go and we deal with it accordingly.I know shit happening sucks, but I've never met anyone that didn't have one pile of crap or another to deal with. And in the end we all manage to get back up . So hang in there Buddy , Just look at it all as a workout, without the gym. Sto on by any time. Door is always open

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heart
Moderator

Reged: 09/01/12
Posts: 41
Loc: united states
Re: 21 and positive new
      #266706 - 09/17/12 09:02 PM

Hey, Hope everything is going well for you. I know what you mean about all those test...I just wanted to encourage you that the fog will begin t lift. Im glad your family can truly have a positive, honest relationship with you. Its at least one worry you dont have to carry. Thinking of you...and hoping things are getting better for you.! Be Blessed..and Live Loved!

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