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HIV Life >> I Just Tested Positive

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nwkmateo
Member

Reged: 04/10/12
Posts: 11
Loc: Bronx, NY
newly diagnosed
      #262375 - 04/10/12 05:37 AM

Hello. I was diagnosed 3/27/2012 with HIV. I've been so busy trying to reassure my loved ones that I will be okay that I've ignored my own need to be reassured. I'm hoping the interactions I make on here will help get me to that goal.

I initially tested positive on 3/12/2012 on a trip to the clinic to see if I had an STD. Well I did it seems, HIV and syphillis. This diagnosis has put my life into crisis mode. I say crisis not because of the medical reality but more so of how I got to this point mentally. I'm hoping to explore that on this board.

I feel angry because I've been deceived by several people, those who infected me..yes multiple people, and also betrayed by myself. I believe a series of bad choices, bad luck, and maybe even fate has brought me to this point.

Recently I received my first lab results and the doctor seemed at ease with them. My cd4 is 700 and viral load is 3306 which he said was very good for a first lab. I'm not on medication at this point and will re-test later this month to see how I'm doing without taking them. I tested inconclusive for Hep C and positive for.toxoplasmosis. My knowledge of the aforementioned is very limited but my doctor did not seem alarmed at this juncture so I'm doing the same.

If anyone is interested in talking about anything regarding my post and situation or their own personal situation I'd be more.than happy to talk/listen.

See you in my next post!


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riverprincessModerator
Moderator

Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1788
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: newly diagnosed new
      #262379 - 04/10/12 02:24 PM

The fact that you have a viral load surprizes me that your doctor does not want you to go on medication . And as for the toxo , I had it and was put on medication for 4 years. What that is is lesions on the brain due to bacteria. Mine was from cat feces . I had and still have cats but hubby does litter box now. Again it's not something that I would delay tx for. Perhaps you should speak to another doctor about your overall prognosis.

--------------------
Look up to the Heavens for the answers to Lifes questions .

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riverprincessModerator
Moderator

Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1788
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: newly diagnosed new
      #262380 - 04/10/12 02:27 PM

Also at this point forget how you contacted this. JUst move on and do what you need to do for yourself. Then family will see that it is something that can be managed. Feel free to message me if you want. Your at a good place in this web site . Many knowledgeable folks that care.

--------------------
Look up to the Heavens for the answers to Lifes questions .

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DJones
All Star

Reged: 04/02/09
Posts: 84
Loc: Milwaukee Wisconsin
Re: newly diagnosed new
      #262389 - 04/10/12 06:34 PM

You need to start taking care of you now. I started a blog the day I found out I was HIV+ on January 7, 2009. You can go back to that date and forward and honestly see what my life was like adjusting to this new life. If I can be of any help please email me. Check out my blog at the link below. I think if nothing else you will find what you are feeling to be normal.
Good luck.

--------------------
http://daveslifelivingwithhiv.blogspot.com/

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dennshow
Newbie

Reged: 04/10/12
Posts: 1
Re: newly diagnosed new
      #262394 - 04/10/12 08:12 PM

Also tested positive just last month, in a foreign land, and so had to make a quick return trip to my country and forget about pursuing a career there.

Good thing you mustered the courage to disclose to your loved ones that soon. No one in my family knows yet, just my partner and a friend. I plan to tell some of my other friends soon, but not my family. My parents are already old, I don't want to burden them anymore with just the knowledge of my situation. To my sisters perhaps I will, in the next few years.

I'm still waiting for the official documentation of my status, and so I am still clueless about my cd4 count and viral load, but so far, everything's still okay with me.

I think it is a good idea that you start considering not focusing on how you contracted HIV. I could have gotten it from my partner, but it doesn't matter to me now if I've indeed had. I also don't worry about possibly being the one who passed it on to him.

Hope we can continue exchanging stories. I'd love to hear back from you soon.

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nwkmateo
Member

Reged: 04/10/12
Posts: 11
Loc: Bronx, NY
Re: newly diagnosed new
      #262401 - 04/11/12 01:03 AM

@river....I didn't stress the meds yet because I had no way to pay for them but I'm on adap now. I am going to get a second opinion after my next bloods come back in beginning of may. I'm afraid to start meds because of the possible side effects ..I tend to be suspectible to medication side effects. Ican't afford to miss more work. the 3 weeks I was out due to bad the initial diagnosis and symptoms from the syphillis and a bacterial throat infection is already causing me stress financially. I figured I need to catch up on bills just in case I have to take another leave from work to adjust to meds so I'm glad he didn't rush at this point

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nwkmateo
Member

Reged: 04/10/12
Posts: 11
Loc: Bronx, NY
Re: newly diagnosed new
      #262402 - 04/11/12 01:08 AM

@djones...that's exactly what I'm doing now..taking care of me first. I do plan on reading up on your blog and thanks for the reply

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nwkmateo
Member

Reged: 04/10/12
Posts: 11
Loc: Bronx, NY
Re: newly diagnosed new
      #262403 - 04/11/12 01:19 AM

I'm past the who I got it from stage ..does not make much difference...but knowing that I have possible multiple exposures in a short time frame can help my doctors decide what tests to do and how to proceed with treatment. What I'm focusing on is the factors that came together to put me in a frame of mind that I put myself in such a high risk behavior category. Somewhere something happened that set me on this path and I hope figuring out what is was will assist me in not allowing a repeat.

I chose to tell people because the rumors had started anyways due to disclosures I had to make to certain people..so I would have beennfooling myself to think I was keeping any secrets.

I'm sorry you are waiting for your results..that was the hardest part of the process so far for me..the wait between drawing. Blood and getting the results back. I was on pins and needles to say the least. If you need someone to talk to I'm here fellow newbie

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riverprincessModerator
Moderator

Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1788
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: newly diagnosed new
      #262413 - 04/11/12 09:16 AM

I have a dear friend that also is very suceptable to medication . Thankfully she has been able to go on atripla with no problem. Get a genotyping to see where you stand with meds. All the best to you my friend.

--------------------
Look up to the Heavens for the answers to Lifes questions .

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Patrick_Ingram
Member

Reged: 04/11/12
Posts: 10
Re: newly diagnosed new
      #262428 - 04/11/12 03:16 PM

I kind of know how you feel. I was diagnosed the first of December after falling ill. I had found out that I was positive through the health department and knew of the person who had infected me (due to him never wanting to test and other people being infected by him) yet he had denied mines and others allegations on the issue. In the beginning I was constantly going back and forth to the doctor to get blood work done and to discuss medications and what not. My CD4 was 111 and my viral load was 16000 and as of today I am undetectable and my CD4 is around 240.

I have been knowingly living with this virus for four months and I can tell you that you will have days where you feel great and other ones where you don't even feel like getting out of bed but the will and motivation to stay within a positive mindset will help you tremendously. You also have people here that can relate to you and what you are going through here for you as support. For me the most important thing was to let feelings for whomever infected you or played you go and just forgive. I stressed myself out to the point where I literally burnt out and had to call out of work for days. Keep your stress level low and focus completely on you.

Also don't panic because this is not a death sentence. Just focus on keeping yourself healthy and safe.

I am definitely here if you need someone to talk to.

Until then take care of yourself and stay in a positive mindset.

-Patrick

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