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HIV Life >> I Just Tested Positive

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INFECTED
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How To Cope with the News
      #25653 - 12/17/01 04:47 PM

I'm certain I'm positive and I need to know?

How do I cope with the news when they tell me?
How do they tell you...flat out or do they beat around the bush?
What do they say after they tell you? Do they try and consoll you or leave you there or what?
I'm scared to death




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gregg629
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Reged: 04/16/01
Posts: 438
Loc: Boston
Re: How To Cope with the News new
      #25690 - 12/18/01 03:21 PM

How do I cope with the news when they tell me?

It all depends on how you cope with things. Everyone is different with how they cope. First of all I'd recommend to just take a deep breath. Don't try to take it all in at once. Don't punish yourself for what happened. Most of all, don't be alone. I'm not saying that you have to rush out and tell everyone that is in your life, but spend time with people. Do something that you enjoy. For me after I found out for sure (because it took several tests over several weeks) I went out to a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant. Just to remind myself that there were still fine thing in life.

How do they tell you...flat out or do they beat around the bush?

From my experience they just flat out tell you. It's kinda like the Bandaid thing. It's better to just rip it off then to go slow and drag it out.

What do they say after they tell you? Do they try and consoll you or leave you there or what?

Usually the people that tell you are counselors and they will try to judge what it is that you need. For me I didn't need them to sit there and consoll me. I needed information, facts, not hand holding. They will usually try to read you and give you what they think you are asking for.

I'm scared to death

I know how scarry it can be, I have lived it for 4 years. I have had several people that I have met online that I have taken in to get tested. I have watched as a few of them have found out. Just remember that you are not alone and that it's not a death sentence. It's a life style change.

HUG

Gregg

gregg629@aol.com




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Anonymous
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Re: How To Cope with the News new
      #25767 - 12/19/01 08:09 PM

I can imagine the anxiety you're going through because of your "+" rapid test result. I'm glad to read that you are going to follow up with an FDA approved test next.

The FDA approved tests are the only ones you can really trust in your situation. Plus you get the news (whether good or bad news) from a counselor who can give you more information, and help you cope. In case of an HIV+ test result, they even have a list of HIV specialists to help point you in the right direction from there.

I'm still hoping you turn out HIV negative, because those rapid tests are not too reliable. But even if you turn out HIV+ this is not the end of the world. As Gregg629 points out, it is a lifestyle change, and hiv+ people can live happy, healthy, lives.

In case it is HIV... Don't worry too much about the severity of your ARS symptoms, this does not necessarily indicate fast progression. There is only a weak correlation between symptoms and progression. The viral load test after "viral set point" is a much better indicator of progression. And with today's HIV specialists, they know how to prevent progression for a very long time.

Best of luck to you, we're all here for you.



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Anonymous
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Re: How To Cope with the News new
      #26090 - 12/28/01 07:41 PM

Why did you ge tested in teh fisrt place? Do you have a subconscious death wish? I'm not kiding I'm totally serious. Why do so many gay men seek to zeroconvert and become so-called "positive" i think this is a fair question to be asking at this point. Until we find out this answer we are going to have "repeat testers" going out trying to be infected and then continuing to live a life od self-destruction and self-hatred. It does not end after you get tested it only begins. Stop the cycle of self-hatred learn to love and except yourself.



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Anonymous
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Re: How To Cope with the News new
      #26092 - 12/28/01 07:46 PM

Gregg you when out to dinner and told yourself there are fine things in life. Are fancy restuarants your idea of "fine things" thats not too shallow. After you become "Poz" you know whats in store. The AIDS Cult tells you that you will die a horrilbe AIDS death. Please I see theses people running around in denial living out this morbid life on drugs telling themselves and each other everythings OK. Don't take the test in the fisrt place and then you will not be faced with all this self-toture. Thats ny advice yet It will proabbly be removed beacuse the Body is a part of the AIDS Cult.



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gregg629
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Reged: 04/16/01
Posts: 438
Loc: Boston
Re: How To Cope with the News new
      #26093 - 12/28/01 08:06 PM

Oh.... Lets see.. what kind of a mood am I in tonight.

First off I don't by into your AIDS-Cult warped mentality. I also don't by into the AIDS = Die a Horrible death thought. I feel that it is very possible to live a healthy happy life while being HIV+. I have had very few side effects from my meds. I am very healthy. According to my doctor healthier then I was 10 years ago. I have kept my viral load undectable for 3+ years.

As for my choice of a fine restaurant after finding out, who the hell are you to judge what I decided to do and how I decided to treat myself after finding out. I guess I could have gone home sat in a dark room and cried thinking I was going to die. However I decided to do something different.

You talk about denial of living and a morbid life on drugs. There is no denail here and there is no morbib life. I know that as long as I treat my HIV responsibility and take my meds, as long as I keep eating well and working out I will stay healthy.

If you want to live your life with the misconseption that there is no reason to have safe sex or to get tested, that is your right. However I feel sorry for anyone that might have unprotected sex with you for what they might catch. I'm not only talking about HIV but other STD's. Good luck.

I also love the fact that you and people like you never put your name on your posts. You hide afraid to let people know who you are. Then when someone points that out you scream about the constitution and your right to lurk in dark corners.

Gregg

Gregg629@aol.com



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Anonymous
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Re: How To Cope with the News new
      #26099 - 12/29/01 01:45 AM

20 years here of "unprotected sex" Gregg and no serious ill health. No Hiv test.nothing! So how do you explain that? Luck? Does a virus work by luck? Is this virus that intelligent and aware that it stays clear of some and invects others at will when it decides its convient? I have had at least 100 acounters that were condomless and not even one STD. I'm not the only one out there cause I have met others like myself. They remain silent out of fear. This fact should be celebrated but it is not. The AIDS Cult does not like life-affirming cases but likes darkness, death and powerlessness. If I were sick I would recieve more attention and many people subconsciously know this. Perhaps I would get a visit from Liz Taylor or invited to another AIDS pity party. Luck is not a part of the equation.



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gregg629
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Reged: 04/16/01
Posts: 438
Loc: Boston
Re: How To Cope with the News new
      #26105 - 12/29/01 10:46 AM

I will more then give you that I believe that you have had 20 years if unprotected sex and are healthy and STD and HIV free. I meet a guy in Boston that has the same reports. He is being studied by the Boston Medical Center to try to find out why out of the many HIV risky encounters he has had he has never picked anything up. He is the center of a very large research project here in Boston. I believe that there are people out there that for whatever reason have an imunity to HIV. It's important for them to come forward to allow medical centers to study them and try to find out what is different about these individuals so they can help the rest of the world.

That said I also want to point out that these individuals are pretty RARE. While having unprotected sex might work out fine for you because you have something different, it dosnt' mean that everyone is like you. So to go around telling people that they don't have to have protected sex and that they have nothing to worry about is pretty irresponsible.

Also there are those of us out here who are positive that aren't using it to get visits from Liz Taylor or attend Aids Pitty parties. There are those of us who work full time, are active in the community, raise children and have no difference from the people who are negative.

Also there is a big change in the as you call it "AIDS Cult" it's not about darkness and death. It's about the fact that slowly throught medical reasearch HIV and AIDS is becominmg a controlable disease. Something that you can live a happy life with. It takes time to change tho. At one point Cancer was a death sentence. So was HIV. Now people can live full and happy lives with both.

I think your the one that's stuck in the past. I hope that you present yourself to some good medical center and tell them your story about how you should be infected because of your wild and colorful past and hopefully they will want to look into why your not.

Gregg

Gregg629@aol.com



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Anonymous
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Re: How To Cope with the News new
      #26113 - 12/29/01 04:10 PM

Gregg have you considered that perhaps people like me are not immune to hiv but are an example that hiv is not an infectious disease at all. If you are not considering this option perhaps you are too deep into the AIDS Cult. Cults train they followers to give up indepedant thinking. In the biological world there is no reason that one person would have immunity over another for what ever reason. This is not possible. The people you are talking about are just looking for some sort of "vaccine" to sell. Its all about money. We are asked to believe so much about hiv that it is beyond absurd. It is the only virus that defies the laws of nature and virology. I would also add that cancer is another industry that has not produced a cure or non-toxic treatment and so this is a poor example of "manageable disease". I guess you hold alot of faith in the system that some do not hold. Perhaps you need a wake up call to get to realize that all is not what it seems. Till then "ignorance is bliss" as they say. At least for a while.



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gregg629
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Reged: 04/16/01
Posts: 438
Loc: Boston
Re: How To Cope with the News new
      #26130 - 12/30/01 10:15 AM

Anonymous,

Yes, I have considered that fact however don't buy into it. Have you considered that your NON AIDS Cult has brainwashed you? I have a great deal of independant thinking, I am not a sheep who follows my doctors orders without question. I question everything. I spend time on web sites like TheBody, AIDSRC and have even rummaged around on Virusmyth.com just to get different view points.

It dosn't surprise me that you don't believei n Cancer either.

I am more then able to handle the fact that you and I have different beliefs. I do not need a "wake up call".

There are lots of different things that one can believe, HIV is real, HIV is something different then what we belive right now, Your just lucky, The difference in you is part of evolution. Who's to say, right now we just don't have all the answers.

I am open to trying new things. I will be taking a drug holiday sometime in the next 6 months and we'll see if my viral load goes back up. It has been undectable now for 3.5 years. If I stop taking the meds and it goes up that will show that they are doing something.

As I have said before, I hope you stay well. I know that where medicine is concerned there are lots of beliefs. I just take offence when you come across saying that we are stupid for having ours.

Gregg

Gregg629@aol.com



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: How To Cope with the News new
      #26132 - 12/30/01 01:49 PM

I don't think your stupid at all Gregg. I hope you do take the drug holiday, my only concern is the relying on viral load and cell counting bit. As you may or may not know the person who invented the viral load test says that it cannot be used for what it is being used for (ie testing for "hiv"). This is a very big concern amoung many and yet it is still being used to test for hiv. T cells have also been question as to wheather they are connected with good or bad health also. The problem is that many people get hooked on testing and "their doctors" opinions and forget that they know whats good for them and they have the power to heal their lives. Its tough I know and it takes alot of courage and faith in some sort of highter power (ie trust in life) but there are coutless people who have never been on the drugs and are well after 15 years. In my opinion if you are living drug free and not getting tested you rae really living. Hiv is real if you choose to give it that power but you can also take the power back and empower yourself again. Step ou of the "AIDS Zone". Still there is no science to back up the HIV hypothesis to meet my standards. You have my support in your decision Gregg!



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NotGregg
Unregistered

Re: How To Cope with the News new
      #26254 - 01/03/02 12:20 AM

Gregg has been very patient with you. I, however, find your lack of logic, and lack of responsibility to be disturbing.

You boast about how many unprotected sexual encounters you've had, like that proves something. All it proves is that you are irresponsibly risking yourself and others who, like yourself, apparently neglect to use condoms.

You have not taken an HIV test, and yet you wish to imply EITHER that you miraculously do not have HIV, or that you have managed to stay healthy despite having it. Which is it? You don't know, because you haven't tested for it. Nothing in the HIV hypothesis predicts that every promiscuous fool will get HIV. You don't even know if you've had exposure to anyone who has it. At least not that you have mentioned here.

Ever heard of asymptomatic HIV infection? There is an average span of about 10 years before HIV infection begins to manifest as AIDS. So it is quite feasible that you have not reached the symptomatic stage yet, since we don't when or if you've been infected with HIV.

And after such a flagrant lack of logical thinking abilities, you claim that science has not met "your standards" of proof for the HIV hypothesis? I can hardly imagine how rigorous your standards must be, that they do not live up to such powerful logic as yours.

"T cells have also been question as to wheather they are connected with good or bad health also," well that settles it I guess. There's proof that you really know what you're talking about. You think perhaps a very low T-Cell count might actually be a sign of extremely GOOD health?



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NeverGregg
Unregistered

Re: How To Cope with the News new
      #27408 - 01/26/02 02:27 AM

post:Ever heard of asymptomatic HIV infection?
answer: Ever heard of I will believe anything science and "my docto" tells me cause I don't think for myself.



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