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Advice on how to break the news to my partner.
#256405 - 07/02/11 08:21 PM
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Hey again everyone. Uhm, so I've posed on here before that I tested positive with the finger prick test and they did the oral swab test too....I haven't got the results back from that one yet but my appointment is this Wed so...we'll see. My boyfriend has been positive for about 10 years and I knew he was positive when we decided to have a relationship. Well, five years later I got that positive result back. When I did the initial test the thing I told the doctor was I'm more worried about how my boyfriend would react if it came back positive, which it did, and it resulted in emotional break down from the both of us. He is really hopeful that because I took the test when I was sick and because I have seborhic dermatitis (which is often caused by a weaken immune system) that maybe, just MAYBE it's a false positive. I did research and it turns out that tests now a days are extremely accurate...which, I mean yay? But it also kinda sucks. Anyways, I'm sure were not the first magnetic couple that is no longer a magnetic couple, right? Right?
Are there any comforting words I could give him to console him? He feels terrible that he "did this to me" and he hates that he promised me in the beginning of our relationship that this would not happen. How do I console him? I've told him that it's okay that I'm not hurt or dieing, and that maybe that was just too big of a promise to keep...I dont know. What can I say?
Edited by PageofCups (07/02/11 08:23 PM)
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alive2
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Guardian
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Reged: 03/08/07
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Posts: 337
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you want to attempt it with a joke? i would say now i got a secret. or just remind him it takes two to tango, and your both involved with the action that led to this.
and the fact you went into this relationship knowing the score card, then you were the one willing to take a chance on a relationship knowing the possible scenario that could come out of it. and if your still there, that says volumes.hope i helped.take care
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Thank you Alive, that helps a lot. Yup I'm still here 
Cheers
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YanuelJose
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Reged: 04/07/04
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Loc: United States
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Hi there! I'm really sorry to hear that. I had the same experience with my past relationship, however it was inverted. I am the poz side and my partner got infected. It is a very difficult time. The last thing we want is to give this virus to the person we love. However, the difference is that my partner blame me for his new misery even though he knew I was poz when we met. It was very hard. He got very distant and little by little the relationship died even though we loved each other very much. In your case you are standing by his side. The most important thing is that you be there for each other and let him understand that this tragic event can bring you even closer. You can become much more of a couple by caring for each other at an even higher level. At least that is how I felt it when it happened to me but my ex didn't share the same feeling. Currently I am in a relationship with a neg guy again and we have talked about this from the beginning 6 months ago. If in any way my experiences can help you, I'm here. Take care, and success
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Thank you Jose. I'm sorry about your experience...my partner is so scared of me waking up one day and blaming him. I'm staying far, far, FAR away from the blame game. It's not as if I didn't know what I was getting into. I'm the kind of person that when I'm scared of something or don't understand it, then I go into research mode and I study it. It's not something either of us wanted. At all. Now we just have to be there for each other and like you said, it did in a weird way bring us even closer together. So with HIV it's not going be all bad.
p.s.
I got my confirmation results in a couple days ago. Officially positive.
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