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HIV Life >> I Just Tested Positive

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scorpio77
New User

Reged: 02/05/10
Posts: 5
NEWLY DIAGNOSED
      #249324 - 02/07/10 12:04 PM

I AM 32 AND TESTED POS IN NOV 09. I WAS GOING FOR A REG PRENATAL VISIT WHEN I GOT THE NEWS. I AM CURRENTLY 7 1/2 MOS PREG AND SEVERELY DEPRESSED. I AM SO SCARED OF DYING AND WHAT THIS IS GOING TO DO 2 ME. I FEEL LIKE IM LIVING IN A NIGHTMARE. JUST DONT UBDERSTND WHY PEOPLE HAVE 2 DEAL WITH CERTAIN THINGS IN LIFE. ITS HARD 2 DO ANYTHING NOW. I WAS SO FULL OF LIFE, NOW I FEEL LIKE A WALKING ZOMBIE. MY NUMBERS ARE AS FOLLOWS MY VL WAS 5012 NOW ITS 139. MY CD4 WAS 1397 WHEN THEY CHECKED IN NOV HAVE TO DO ANOTHER IN A COUPLE OF WKS 2 SEE WHERE THEY ARE. PLEASE HELP ME IM REALLY FREAKING OUT AND FEEL AS THOUGH LIFE IS OVER.

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Rochelle
Member

Reged: 01/31/10
Posts: 26
Re: NEWLY DIAGNOSED new
      #249327 - 02/07/10 03:29 PM

Scorpio77:

Have you read the posting to worried2009 from bnagayguy? If not, please read it.

It is filled with encouragement and it is also filled with information you can use to encourage you!

I have recently registered at this website, but have been reading it for a few weeks now when I was told someone I was dating had AIDS.

My fear has turned to hope based on the information posted all over the site and the information posted from persons living with HIV.

It sounds as though it is normal for a newly diagnosed to feel as though they will die right away, so read and get informed so that you can understand that it is not the case, especially with a cd4 count such as yours which is much higher than persons not living with HIV!

Please find someone you can speak with to help with the depression. Your life is not over. It is just taking two new directions. One as a person living with HIV and one as a mother with a young baby.

Take care of yourself, and your baby. You need to be around to see him/her grow up, graduate high school and college!

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bnagayguy
Member

Reged: 01/29/09
Posts: 25
Re: NEWLY DIAGNOSED new
      #249345 - 02/09/10 12:59 AM

After reading your message, there is much to share with you.

First, because of the advances made for HIV and AIDS, I can tell you for a fact that, you're not going to die anytime soon!! And, it's good that you know you're poz, so that you can take appropriate measures to ensure that your baby does not become infected with HIV. There is well-known treatment that can be provided to an expecting mother, to prevent the baby from becoming infected with HIV. Check with your treatment provider for more information about this.

Also, know that what you're feeling is what many other poz people have felt. Feeling depressed and overwhelmed isn't weird or unwarranted. Be sure to get some counseling or other therapy, to help you move past your depression.

Now, that you know, you're in position to take charge of your life, for you and your baby. You can take charge by doing what you need to do, for example, have regularly scheduled medical care appointments, eat nutritious foods, get plenty of rest, get some sort of physical exercise/activity. Being active helps to release endorphines (a naturally occurring hormone) that helps stave off depression and the blues.

Be sure you have a support system that will help you, as you may need. No one need face HIV alone. There are many organizations who can provide support. There are a couple directories you can check for an AIDS service organization in your area. Here are the website links: http://www.asofinder.com, and http://directory.poz.com Either of them should be able to get you in contact with an organization for services other than medical treatment.

It's good that your viral load is now down...give yourself a pat on the back, and take a deep breath!! Celebrate every victory you have against HIV, no matter how small it may be, or seem.

Also, be sure you bring no harm to yourself. Hopefully, you don't smoke....think of it this way: if you can't breathe, you won't live!! Limit any alcohol you might consume; alcohol can worsen an already depressed mood. And, of course, no drugs. Drugs also increase depression.

Do yourself a favor and get educated about successfully living with HIV. Check out the book entitled "Built to Survive." It's chock full of good tips on living - not just existing - with HIV. Another book you may want to read is "You Can Heal Your Life", by Louise Hay. She has worked with thousands of people affected, and infected, by HIV. Also, there's lots of information here, on TheBody.com.

Know that you have the power to create and have an awesome life. You can still do whatever you choose to do. Being HIV+ just means you may have to do it a bit differently, than those who are not poz.

I wish you all the best in your new life!!

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dakotalagrange
Member

Reged: 07/26/04
Posts: 31
Re: NEWLY DIAGNOSED new
      #249361 - 02/09/10 07:34 PM

There is nothing fair about this disease but make sure that you develop a strong support system. Love yourself and your baby enough to carry on turn this around. You are beautiful and so deserving of love and respect. You are feeling what all of us felt in the beginning. So many questions and so many emotions which I'm sure are even more instense with you pregnancy. You will get through this and begin to focus more on living rather than the thought of dying. I have been positive for 8 years and during that time, I have finished two degrees and work full-time. It is still hard for me at times but the people on this site are wonderful and a great support. Keep your head up and stay strong. You will come through this, I promise.

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