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HIV Life >> I Just Tested Positive

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Reged: 02/03/10
Posts: 27
Don't really know how to handles
      #249315 - 02/06/10 05:11 PM

Could someone please tell me how to handle this I am positive and this is all new to me.I have been taken my meds and now i'm undetectable by the Grace of God, but I am willing and open to how to handle this I'm here to listen.

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Reged: 01/29/09
Posts: 25
Re: Don't really know how to handles new
      #249319 - 02/07/10 02:25 AM

Ok - first, take a deep breath. Then, realize and know on a soulful/gut-level that you aren't going to die anytime soon. I'm living proof - I've lived with HIV for over 21 years.

Next, do whatever you choose to do - work, get more and/or different education, travel, socialize, be with family and friends - whatever you choose to do. What is necessary is that you recognize that some of what you choose to do may require you do it a bit differently than if you weren't poz, especially when it comes to sex. After all, would you want anyone else to have to deal with what you face on a daily basis?

Then, make sure you get educated about HIV, and how it operates within your body. (This is where a good treatment provider comes in handy.) Knowing how HIV operates, and knowing how your body functions is key to successfully living with HIV. Check out the book "Built to Survive" by Michael Mooney and Nelson Vergel; Nelson is one of the experts here on Their book is chock full of useful information for anyone who is poz.

It's important to learn and understand nutrition - the role it plays in keeping you healthy, vital and active. Keep in mind that about 70% of our immunity resides in the intestinal tract, where much of our digestion occurs.

Be sure to have some sort of physical activity on a regular basis; incorporate both cardiovascular and weight training. Weight training will help build lean muscle mass, which is key to maintaining good health, particularly for anyone who is poz. BTW - I found yoga to be an awesome work out, physically, mentally and spiritually.

And, be sure to do something to develop or maintain your spirituality - not religion - spirituality. HIV is something that affects us not only physically; it also has a great impact on us mentally and spirituality. Think about the triad of body, mind and spirit. If any one of those elements is not in tact, the whole triad will tumble, in the end. Check out the book "You Can Heal Your Body" by Louise Hay. She's worked with thousands affected by HIV and AIDS.

If you need to, get some counseling. There are lots of therapists out there who can, and do, know how to help people live with HIV. Be sure you know how, or learn, to say "no." Check out's directory if you need some help locating other services besides medical treatment. Here's the link:; or another directory is:

Above all, do no harm to yourself. This includes no smoking -- if you can't breathe, you won't's that simple!! Limit your alcohol, and eliminate any illicit drug consumption. The less the body has to process and expel, the easier it is for the body to maintain itself. Having 1 or 2 drinks isn't bad; having too many makes the body go into overdrive - it has to work harder so that you continue to live. As for illicit drugs, they will damage your body (not to mention your mental and spiritual sides) quicker than HIV.

Whatever you do, know that you can live a full and vital life (and yes that includes dating and a relationship). Because you have HIV does not mean this is the end of the road. It means you are now on another path that deserves, and requires, your full attention.

You can still do and be anything you choose to do, or be!! The good news is there are a wide variety of resources available to help you determine what is right for you. (When I first tested poz in 1988, we were basically prepared to die within 2-5 years.) Use any and all resources that are available to you. Don't let HIV make you a victim; turn this pain into power for you, and others!!

HIV is another part of you now, for whatever reason. How you came to be poz isn't the issue now. Now, the task is to learn how to live a great life despite being HIV+.

Feel free to hit me back via email if you like:

I wish you all the best.....


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Reged: 02/03/10
Posts: 27
Re: Don't really know how to handles new
      #249325 - 02/07/10 07:34 PM

Thank You 21 years now if that's not something I can hang my hat on nothing will that's a long time.When I here stories like this they give me hope,I do go to a support group with my wife she's not infected.There are not alot of programs for the husband and wife when one is infected and the other is not but we found one.I really don't talk but in this group i talk more I really feel comfortable around them.How do I stop the feeling of being worthless and thinking i'm damaged goods and i'm no good to anyone.I'm trying hard not to get depressed but I have two kids,awife,and my health to think about so I can't let myself get depressed.I'm undetectable that's a good thing I know if i just live my life and take my meds I know everything will be ok.

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Reged: 07/26/04
Posts: 31
Re: Don't really know how to handles new
      #249360 - 02/10/10 12:29 AM

I know that this is hard. You will have your ups and downs and it will be a continuous struggle. It has been 8 years for me and I still have to rely on others including those on this site to help me get through the rough times. Just remember that you are worthy of love and acceptance. Display your accomplishments so far and realize that no one can take those from you. Create a new you full of power and self-love. I have always said that HIV may eventually take my breath but I refuse to let it take my life.

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Reged: 06/01/06
Posts: 256
Loc: Gauteng, South Africa
Re: Don't really know how to handles new
      #249383 - 02/11/10 08:34 AM

your wife is going with you to the support group meetings that is one reason you are worth fighting for, she commited to be by your side, that alone is good enough reason to fight this. there are so many ways of protecting her keeping her safe when intimate, your two kids has a let them be the reason not to feel damaged. we all make mistakes but it is not to allow it to get the best of us, but to be the best we can be while they are still around us, to see them and know they are there.

try to get active with a hobby or start training at a gym for your own health but to be there when they graduate or get married. you are among people that understands and support you and you are here with us, ask and you will be surprised by ow many people offer help and guidance

"Live for today, because what you do today is what you use to make your future"

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Reged: 04/16/09
Posts: 4
Re: Don't really know how to handles new
      #249396 - 02/11/10 10:39 PM

Take a deep breath and relax. You are going through the most difficult phase of finding out you're positive. I have been positive for 15 years and take my meds and am still undetectable, have lots of t-cells, and am healthy. You have a family that loves you, which is a great start. You also have to love yourself so that you can be there for your wife and kids. I think you'll be around a long time and see your kids grow up. God bless you.

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