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HIV Life >> I Just Tested Positive

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frank74
Newbie

Reged: 01/12/10
Posts: 9
Loc: R.I.
Feel like I'm getting eaten alive
      #249138 - 01/18/10 01:43 PM

Sometimes I feel like a hollow shell-damaged goods that no one wants. Other days I feel okay.
I feel like a fool that doesn't deserve meds

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Angel_Ronnie
Guru

Reged: 06/01/06
Posts: 256
Loc: Gauteng, South Africa
Re: Feel like I'm getting eaten alive new
      #249153 - 01/19/10 12:40 AM

Frank at first after my Diagnosis I felt exactly like you I felt I was tainted and who would want to be with a person that is positive, i isolated myself for 18 months not going out, not visiting friends always wondered how many will see that i have hiv, well no does hiv has no face in our time, we are all damaged goods in some form, but it must not be limiting to who you can be to another person or the people that surrounds your every day being, you deserve meds like any human being does. Don't be so hard on yourself give your system your mind and body to adjust to the news and the shock you have been through. you'll eventually see that you are just as much deserving of meds as a person with cancer chemo. Start focusing on the now and look for reasons why you should fight this, like your family, your friends, your job and many more positive things that is part of your life, no pun intended.

--------------------
"Live for today, because what you do today is what you use to make your future"

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GirBot
Member

Reged: 11/23/09
Posts: 22
Loc: Western United States
Re: Feel like I'm getting eaten alive new
      #249187 - 01/20/10 04:57 PM

Oh Frank.... *BIG HUG*

We can't go back and undo the mistakes we make. That's all part of the human experience. What we can do is learn from them and move forward. Have you talked to your doctor about your feelings? There is an enormous support network out there for you... and your doctor can help get you plugged in. Counseling is an awesome place to start.

OK, being HIV+ is challenging but it's not the end of the world. No, really. From your other post, sounds to me like you've been through worse. Think about it.

Like it or not, we're here. Happy and contented living requires we focus on what we have and take full advantage of our assets. Lamenting the past and wishing for things that aren't are momentary. Soon we quit morning our loss, stand up, dust ourselves off, and take our first steps in a long journey to something better. Without realizing it, you've come so far already. Don't let fear get the better of you.

Do I miss my carefree existence before HIV? Hmmm, yeah. Some days. But this sort of thing has a way of focusing our attentions on the things that really truly matter in life. It has the power to change our lives if we let it. Sure, if I could keep all the knowledge I've gained through this experience, I'd go back and change the whole HIV part in a heart beat. Unfortunately that knowledge is the consequence of facing our challenges. As odd as it might sound, I don't think I am willing to do that. I'd rather be here... HIV and all.

So, if you need a leg up and help dusting yourself off, talk to your doctor or see an HIV counselor. Life can be good again. Promise!

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worried09
Regular

Reged: 02/03/10
Posts: 27
Re: Feel like I'm getting eaten alive new
      #249285 - 02/03/10 01:19 PM

I also fill like i'm damaged i'm afraid to ask my wife to have sex with me because i don't want to b rejected but she asked me how come we don't have sex,I told her that i don't never try.Like u said some days i fill good about myself and some day i fill like i'm damaged goods and who want something that's damaged.I'm am undetectable but that still doesn't mean anything.

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GirBot
Member

Reged: 11/23/09
Posts: 22
Loc: Western United States
Re: Feel like I'm getting eaten alive new
      #249293 - 02/03/10 03:39 PM

How long has it been since your diagnosis? You are exhibiting some clear signs of distress. Properly treated, you'll be just fine. Talk to your HIV doctor right away. There are many options to explore; counseling, support groups, even medication. You don't have to live like this.

For many, this forum is the first step seeking help. It's a great place to realize you aren't alone. Let me just say, I get it. HIV really does suck. There are a lot of things in life that suck. If the world just fixated on what sucked, we'd probably still be sitting around the fire complaining about the cave draft.

Look, we can either let adversity crush us into dust or we can use it to our advantage. HIV has a way of making us see the world differently than we did before. This change in perspective can lead to something more meaningful and wonderful. It would be insanity for anyone to seek out hardship but remember, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. So if we have to be here, might as well do something constructive with our time, right?

CALL YOUR DOCTOR! Tell them exactly what you are feeling. Trust me! They know your long term success is dependent on you getting beyond these feelings. They'll hook you up with the help you need. Then you can get down to the business of being the great husband your wife obviously wants you to be. *wicked grin*

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bnagayguy
Regular

Reged: 01/29/09
Posts: 25
Re: Feel like I'm getting eaten alive new
      #249346 - 02/09/10 01:11 AM

Everyone - no matter who you might be, deserves the necessary meds, medical treatment and support to successfully live with HIV and/or AIDS.

I would encourage you get some counseling/therapy. Being poz brings about many issues, thoughts, ideas and concerns that non-poz folks don't have to face.

Always remember that you are, indeed, a child of the universe. You deserve to live a great life, in whatever form might work for you.

Turn the pain (of being poz) into power; power that will allow you to live and, not just merely exist.

I wish you a beautiful life!!

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heal
Newbie

Reged: 05/07/10
Posts: 7
Re: Feel like I'm getting eaten alive new
      #250248 - 05/07/10 09:48 AM

Your afraid to die.
so dont die for christ sake stop being afraid and empty you have more to live for now that you think its over.
People treating you funny cant tell nobody so what, love yourself and dont cower under pressure.look in the mirror love yourself, love yourself ,love yourself.
I dont even know you and i love you thats how god built me .
Now a stranger loves you and thats worth more then you think .

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