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HIV Life >> I Just Tested Positive

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christo
Newbie

Reged: 03/23/09
Posts: 8
Loc: Oregon
just diagnosed and trying to cope
      #245090 - 03/23/09 11:31 PM

I am recently diagnosed for the past two weeks. Trying to hold it together by getting results and case worker, doctor. But that is just the easy part. Today, nauseous and just out of my mind with disbelief. Wanting to live a long happy life, but at the same time "how can I live with this". I feel like I am truly in a dream. No one in my family to understand, although they know and support me and also no one gay to understand that also.
Consistently thinking and trying to find a way to just be OK. Don't know what to feel, how to feel. Work, dating, church, everyday life. Getting worried everytime I eat something bad, and I have the worst sweet tooth. Just want to sleep and lay in bed until this dream is over. As you can see, today was a very bad day and I have no one to talk to that understands.

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Chad_NY
Member

Reged: 02/04/09
Posts: 10
Re: just diagnosed and trying to cope new
      #245091 - 03/24/09 12:32 AM

I am going through the same emotions you are going through right now. But I dont enjoy thinking about it everyminute, I prefer to go to work, school and pray.

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Angel_Ronnie
Guru

Reged: 06/01/06
Posts: 256
Loc: Gauteng, South Africa
Re: just diagnosed and trying to cope new
      #245093 - 03/24/09 07:20 AM

Christo, it will time for you to adjust to this it doesn't happen over night as it has affected your life in a big way the past two weeks but in time you will find better ways to cope with it, finding out and living with it is a mayor shock for the human body. I am living with hiv now for three years and I still find myself at times crying still but life goes on it is time for you live life.

prayers and thoughts with you.

--------------------
"Live for today, because what you do today is what you use to make your future"

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sbev1981
Member

Reged: 03/20/09
Posts: 24
Re: just diagnosed and trying to cope new
      #245102 - 03/24/09 04:47 PM

Hello Chris-
I am sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis. The one thing that you need to remember is that you are going to be ok!! When I first got the shocking news from my doctor in January the first thing that went through my mind is "OMG my life is over"!! Trust me when I say that I really did not know where to turn. I am a lucky gyu to be able to have a wonderful husband in my life that Masters in BioChemistry and Virology.

After many hours of on line research and talking to my husband HIV is nothing like it was 20 years ago. What you need to look forward to now is understanding that it will be a life change for yourself and family, but nothing that you can't handle with a little bit of support and willingness. The one thing that you need to remember all, is HIV IS NOT A DEATH SENTENCE!! "PLEASE QUOTE ME ON THIS"

You need to make sure to find yourself a great health care physician (preferably a HIV specialist) and start figuring out your next move. What this means is you will eventually take a test if you haven't already to see where your CD4 count is and your Viral Load is. To help you understand this better and quicker your CD4 is your body's army that fight off virus such as a cold or infection. A normal human without HIV should have anywhere from 500 + CD4 count based on how healthy the person is. Once you contract HIV take this army as your Viral Load, the more viral load that is in your body the more wear it has on your immune system. New regulations are trying to start HIV patients on Anti-retro Viral Therapy once your CD4 count drops to 350, but in most cases I see that people find out they are HIV + when there CD4 drops way below the guideline (take me for example).

When I found out that I had the virus my CD4 was 207 and my Viral Load was 13,000, which meant that I was immediately put on on HIV meds. After just 1 month of finding out that I was HIV positive my Viral Load Dropped to below -50 which means that I am undetectable and my CD4 went up to 400. This should show you that with modern medicine and treatment you can indeed control the Virus and live a life long life. Just remember your meds are your lifesaver so you never want to miss a dose for your body can become resistant to the meds. I don't know to much about you, but just know that changing your life style from here on out mean living a healthy life, good nutrition, no alcohol beverage, and no drugs. You will get mixed thoughts on this but my philosophy is anything that will suppress your Immune System is not good for you.

Remember that thinking positive and not letting the virus take over you will only help your body stronger and feel better. On the daily we have great people that are working on figuring out the cure and stopping this ridiculous virus once and for all. With that in mind there is a professor that believes that he might have cracked the cure for HIV. Below I will add the 2 links that I have so you can watch this videos on what this professor has done. I think us as being victims to this virus need to support, hope, and have faith in anyone that is putting there hardest efforts in stopping this pandemic. If you are part of an organization or know of any that will support this doctors research it would be highly appreciated. He is in final stages to start Human Clinical Trials, which is something that many HIV'ers can't wait for.

I would like to know more about yourself and keep in touch with your transition to being a new person. Remember YOU WILL BE OK ! Please keep in Touch

Respectfully-
Steve

EndHIVForever@yahoo.com

PS: I have the contribution forms that I could foward you for Dr. Sudhir Paul research.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLf-DC4HV6o

http://www.foxnews.com/video2/video08.html?maven_referralObject=2810135&maven_referralPlaylistId=&sRevUrl=http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,395941,00.html

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christo
Newbie

Reged: 03/23/09
Posts: 8
Loc: Oregon
Re: just diagnosed and trying to cope new
      #245115 - 03/25/09 12:28 AM

Thank you for the support. I am feeling much better today, still a little nauseous but dealing with it better by eating right and not doing to much to make it worse. I know I will be okay and just thankful for this site to vent when I feel down.

My doctor says I am in a good state right now and do not need to take medication my CD4 above 800 and my viral load at 1400. So I want to do as much as possible to keep it that way for as long as possible. Eating right, exercise, low stress, positive attitude. So any advice is well welcomed.

To any also just tested positive, my prayers and hope that your life is lived to its utmost and joy. Live right to live long and trust in God to make this OK for you.

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Angel_Ronnie
Guru

Reged: 06/01/06
Posts: 256
Loc: Gauteng, South Africa
Re: just diagnosed and trying to cope new
      #245132 - 03/26/09 01:40 AM

Christo,
Like I said that it will take time to adjust to the new life that is ahead of you and when you have the time go to the following link and start looking out for number one you and all will fall in place. www.selfcreation.com

I am so glad to hear that you are doing ok and your numbers is fantastic.

Hugs

--------------------
"Live for today, because what you do today is what you use to make your future"

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skipmeister
Newbie

Reged: 03/30/09
Posts: 1
Loc: Miami, FL USA
Re: just diagnosed and trying to cope new
      #245192 - 03/30/09 10:33 PM

I've been positive for five years now. When I was diagnosed, my viral load was too high to count. . . in the hundreds of thousands. Today, my viral load is undetectable. In fact, today I am probably healthier than I have been in years. I have made some life style changes . . . I quit drinking and using street drugs. I do take medicine twice a day, but that was an easy routine to adapt to. I brush my teeth and take my medication and vitamins.

I am diagnosed as HIV+, but I AM NOT HIV. This virus is in my system, but by no means does it define who I am as a human being. It is one small part of my life. I am also an artist, a singer, a spiritual person, a son, a brother, an uncle, a friend, a writer, an actor, a songwriter, an avid camper, etc.

As long as I follow my treatment plan and take care of myself, I do not need to worry about the physical aspects of being HIV+. I have learned that worry is a lack of faith. I am not saying that I am glad I have HIV, but I am very grateful for the tools that I have been given to live with the virus. My faith has grown stronger. I am not talking about faith in a religion, but I have found a Higher Power greater than myself. For me, this has been the key because if I rely completely upon my own thoughts, I start making up stories in my head that are not true and never will be.

I am following my heart and dreams. I am currently working toward a Masters of Music Composition. I know I have a future writing music and possibly teaching others to follow their passion.

In 2006, I was 39 and had been diagnosed for 2 years. I was living in Chicago and literally planning to throw myself in front of the L train. I said to myself that my life was over, I screwed it up, I threw away every opportunity that was ever given to me. I had been in a depression for two years and was ready to throw in the towel. Then, in that moment of desperation, I had another thought . . . I could say that my life was only half over and I could make something out the second half of my life. Today, I believe that moment of desperation was a gift because that thought started a whole new journey. One that I am enjoying today. You too can find this Joy. You don't have to look outside of yourself to find it. . . . its like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz . . . it has been inside you all along.

Today, I don't blame myself, and I no longer live the life of a victim. I have accepted that I am who I am and this body of mine has a virus. I can live with that because I have learned to love myself. It is a process, but once I started, I am grateful for the opportunity to explore it every single day.

Every day is not perfect. I have my bad days. I used to have bad years. I have had changes in some relationships . . . it wasn't easy at the time, but I am a better person for it and have better relationships today. There are issues that I am learning about today that I have never had experienced before. I ended a "marriage" of 12 years about a 1 1/2 years ago (it had nothing to do with our HIV status') and just in the last few months I've started going out with men on "dates". When to disclose is something new to me that I never had to think about before. That is a whole different issue, but my point is that I'm living through it and learning from the experience. I will say that, in my opinion, unless I am definitely going to have sex with a person, they do not need to know unless I want them to know.

I can go on and on, and will be happy to continue this conversation with you, but I've think I've written a first chapter to a novel here, so I'm going to leave it at this. . . remind yourself every day that "I am a loving, lovable, loved human being". After all, that is all that really matters in life, isn't it?

PEACE

Skip

--------------------
You can either have want you want or the reasons why you can't.

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hopefulone
Master

Reged: 12/05/08
Posts: 130
Loc: NY, NY
Re: just diagnosed and trying to cope new
      #245202 - 03/31/09 09:49 PM

beautiful skip, thank you. vey inspiring.

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DJones
All Star

Reged: 04/02/09
Posts: 84
Loc: Milwaukee Wisconsin
Re: just diagnosed and trying to cope new
      #245242 - 04/04/09 08:10 PM

I understand completely. If you check out my blog I started the day I found out January 7th, 2009 you will see each day how I felt. My blog is at http://daveslifelivingwithhiv.blogspot.com/
you can also reach me at djones@wi.rr.com

--------------------
http://daveslifelivingwithhiv.blogspot.com/

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christo
Newbie

Reged: 03/23/09
Posts: 8
Loc: Oregon
Re: just diagnosed and trying to cope new
      #245280 - 04/09/09 01:02 AM

Thank you,
you are right! and everyday I wake up I know it is a blessing (whether I had to virus or not). My health is good and I feel great. I am planning to get a nutritionist and other things to stay healthy. It is not a death sentence. I do admit somedays I feel like crap and can't believe it, but I know my life is great and I plan to do many things yet. I still don't have many people to talk to and don't feel comfortable telling others. I have told my family and they are supportive. But will be good to find other friends just to talk to and relate with.
Continued support to you and everyone!!!

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