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HIV Life >> I Just Tested Positive

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movingon
Fanatic

Reged: 08/27/07
Posts: 66
General questions
      #230602 - 09/09/07 11:17 PM

hey all, its lostnscared again. I have a few questions about a few general things.

After being diagnosed , i quit coffee. But recently i started getting heade aches, i think from withdrawel, so the past few days i have been having one coffee in the morning, thats it.

Is coffee really bad ?

secondly, i used to smoke pot, quite alot of it, but since being diagnosed i quit that too. For the first 4 weeks it was easy, but now i am craving a joint ! I dont crave for a ciggarette, just a joint.

Will the odd joint cause me harm ?

Lastly, how unsafe is oral sex ? My wife and i used to enjoy lots of oral sex, but since i got my diagnosis, we dont do it anymore, and its effecting us. We still have sex, with condoms, but something is missing (oral).

Can anyone shed some light on this ?

Thanks

L&S

Ps - i am not on meds yet, but will probably have to start soon

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Jackie__Blue
Legend

Reged: 01/20/07
Posts: 1186
Re: General questions new
      #230643 - 09/10/07 07:55 PM

Gee, I hope coffee isn't bad. I can't say I remember my doctor every telling me not to drink it, which is a good thing, since I'd never be able to function in the morning without it. Even if it was, you can't just give up everything all at once.

Pot. Won't hurt you, tho' my doc did suggest a bong is better since it filters the smoke through water. Remember there has been a tug of war over medical majuaiana for quite sometime. It's been proven to help patients with Cancer, Galcoma, HIV/AIDS. I take Marinol for nausea myself. It's just THC in pill form.

Oral sex is just about as safe as you can get. The CDC does attach a small risk which is 1 in 10,000 for the receptive (giving) partner and 1 in 20,000 for the insertive (receiving) partner. That's with ejaculation. There are no known cases of transmission from receiving, but a small handful of cases of transmission from giving. It certainly is not a great risk, but it's something you and your wife will have to decide for yourselves. Everyone has different comfort levels to what risks they want to undertake.

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oldwoman
Guardian

Reged: 05/12/07
Posts: 435
Loc: Phila,Pa
Re: General questions new
      #230648 - 09/10/07 09:07 PM

Hi,how have you been?
As far as I know coffee isn't bad for you.The problem is if you take Kaletra,it can cause diarrhea and the caffeine can make it much worse.Since they started making the Kaletra in pill form instead of the older gelcaps the side effects aren't as bad.
As far as oral sex,like Carrie said the incident of transmission is very low.You can always use a condom YUCH and a dental dam for your wife.personally we never used either and my ex- boyfriend is still negative after 3 years.One thing to keep in mind is that if you have sores in your mouth that raises your risk,don't brush your teeth for about two hours before or after,since that can make little scratches in your mouth,mouthwash is OK.

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movingon
Fanatic

Reged: 08/27/07
Posts: 66
Re: General questions new
      #230656 - 09/10/07 10:24 PM

Thanks for the reply Carrie. I read somewhere that coffee is bad, and should be stopped. I used to drink about 10 cups per day, now i dont drink any. talk about going cold turkey !

where i live , we dotn get good weed, just good hash, which has to be smoked with tobbacco. I have a bong too though. I am not saying i want to smoke anything like the quatity i used to, but i feel like the odd joint might help calm my nerves.

regarding oral, i am not that borthed abour recieving, but i do know that my wife (and me) misses recieving it from me. I really do want to protect her though - this is soo tough

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movingon
Fanatic

Reged: 08/27/07
Posts: 66
Re: General questions new
      #230657 - 09/10/07 10:26 PM

thanks alot for the reply. I have never even seen / heard of dental dams. What are they ? are they readily available ?

I am not yet on meds. I was only diagnosed 5 weeks ago, but funnily enough, my doctor is suggesting kaletra. So i guess even one coffee per day would be bad right ?

Appreciate all your replies

Thanks

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vokz
Grand Master

Reged: 09/06/07
Posts: 164
Loc: London, UK
Re: General questions new
      #230665 - 09/11/07 03:46 AM

Ten cups of coffee per day probably is not very good for you - and is probably going to give you withdrawal symptoms if you stop it straight away – so drink it weaker than you would have done before and drink less of it.

The point of initial diagnosis is a great time to exploit the shock factor to make lifestyle modifications, but be sensible about it and do not deny yourself all the little pleasures. Set yourself up for the day with a weak coffee .. you may well find that is enough to stave off the withdrawal symptoms (it was for me).

There is no risk of you transmitting HIV to your wife if you perform oral sex on her.

If she has good oral health, then there is probably a minimal risk of you passing it on to her if she performs oral sex on you (and there will be even less once you are medicated and undetectable). As has already been suggested, avoid brushing of teeth / flossing for a few hours before doing anything … and DO avoid mouthwash too (it kills off the natural antiviral properties of saliva). If your wife feels the need to ‘freshen’ her breath before you get intimate, suggest she sucks on a mint or just very gently rubs a little toothpaste around her mouth with her fingers.

Good oral health is the key here though. Any mouth / gum / throat infections and there is an infection opportunity. Any cuts / ulcers / bleeding gums and there is an infection opportunity.


Edited by vokz (09/11/07 04:25 PM)

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movingon
Fanatic

Reged: 08/27/07
Posts: 66
Re: General questions new
      #230666 - 09/11/07 04:16 AM

Vokz - thanks very much for your reply. You guys are so nice. cheers

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oldwoman
Guardian

Reged: 05/12/07
Posts: 435
Loc: Phila,Pa
Re: General questions new
      #230680 - 09/11/07 12:04 PM

A dental dam is a thin square of latex that you place over her before you have oral sex.If you can't fine them you can cut down one side of a regular condom and flatten it out to use the same way.It does take something away from the whole experience.Like it has already been said here the chance of transmission during oral is very low and some people don't use protection.As in every thing it is a personal decision between the people involved.

Have you tried de-caf coffee?I don't notice any difference between it and regular.Nobody else has ever noticed when I serve it to them either.Start cutting back from regular to de-caf,10 cups a day no wonder you are getting headaches.You're going through withdrawal.

Edited by oldwoman (09/11/07 12:08 PM)

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uglyduck
Grand Master

Reged: 08/21/07
Posts: 157
Loc: Dominican Republic
Re: General questions new
      #230682 - 09/11/07 12:49 PM


As oldwoman said, using a dental dam takes the whole experience of giving oral sex.

The chances of you passing HIV to your wife by giving her oral sex is 1 in 20,000 exposures. So, I dont think you need to worry much about that. The CDC looked at thousend of lesbians magnetic couples and the cases of transmission were due to other variables like one of the women being bisexual, or being IV drug users, and not oral sex. So, go ahead and make your wife feel great.

Now, about you receiving oral sex, thats a little bit more complicated... the chances are 1 in 10,000, however, there have been cases of people getting infected this way. The factors that led to infection, where due to poor higiene, ejeculation, open sores in the mouth, and high viral loads. So my suggestion will be to use a condom if you're wife is going to give you oral sex, at least until you become undectetable.

One last thing, if you want to make things more pleasurable for you and you're wife, you can use flavored condoms, and you can have 2 tiny drops of water in the condom before you put it on. That would make you feel more.. (thats what my Doc told me... I havent tried yet, but I will next week, so I'll let you know about it)...

See ya.. and Good luck man!!! God bless!!

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Florida69
Legend

Reged: 02/19/07
Posts: 541
Re: General questions new
      #230698 - 09/11/07 03:47 PM

You guys are so wonderful and helpful. D

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