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HIV Life >> I Just Tested Positive

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RBW60
Newbie

Reged: 10/21/06
Posts: 4
Recently tested positive....
      #212287 - 10/21/06 03:12 PM

Hi. A friend mentioned this site to me. I'm 46 yr old single professional (GWM). Decided it had been a while since I had a physical. During the exam I mentioned a bump on the back of my neck.. He said it was a lymphnode but I didn't have any others. Because of the new CDC regulations I said why not do an HIV test. My last test was in mid 2002 and I was negative. He said labs take about 4 business days and if I didn't hear from anyone.. everything was fine. I thought I was in the clear until I got a call on my cell going to work the following Thursday (from the Doctor). He wouldn't discuss anything over the phone and asked me to come in that day. Found out I was positive.. felt like somone put a concrete block on my chest. He did handle it the best he could and had already arranged an a[ppointment with an infectious disease specialist and additional tests for blood counts. Hoping I'm still in the good range but ho know. Wondering about if I'm been exposed to more than one strain and what effect that has. Always thought I was being somewhat safe.. and if unsafe it.. I was the top. I guess you can beat yourself up trying to figure out when/how/who.. and then who you've possibly infected. Spent Friday and yesterday in zombie state... although he gave me some anti anxiety meds and lexipro. I have one good frind in town and I really struggled with whether to call him. It turns out he's been positive since 1987 and on meds since 1997. If I hadn't reached out, I wouldnot have know this. I'm still a mess, but gonna try and manage. I set up an appointment with an intake counselor next week and they also have group sessions. I read the information on the site and try and stay focused on the positive. When you read the doctor's comments that someone diagnosed now at 35, can expect to live full life expectency... that really helps. I've avoided intimacy for so long and this is probably one reason I ended up with HIV. I hope that an outcome of this is to meet someone to share life with...I know it sounds perverted to think that HIV might actually find me some happiness... Anyway.. just thought I'd share..
By they way, bought the book The First Year HIV, An Essentional Guide for the Newly Diagnosed, by Brett Grodeck.


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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Recently tested positive.... new
      #212289 - 10/21/06 03:36 PM

The first few weeks of dealing with HIV are a highly emotionally charged time. The how's, why's and where's of treatment will work themselves out. First thing is to get your viral load and CD4's. Then you have a starting point.

Meantime. Let yourself get use to the whole thing. One step at a time. Now is a very important time to take care of yourself. You first. It sounds like you made a good decision when you reached out to your friend. Having someone you can talk to will help you work through all the emotions that you are dealing with.

Things will get better. You will feel better. Trust me.

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Bear60
Legend

Reged: 12/21/05
Posts: 1390
Re: Recently tested positive.... new
      #212311 - 10/21/06 05:52 PM

Welcome to TheBody. Sorry to hear of your diagnosis. There are a lot of positive people who come here to share their experiences, to vent or to ask questions. Glad you posted. Let us know what your numbers are like once you start blood draws.

--------------------
6 ft tall poz bear in Philadelphia

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Survivor
Legend

Reged: 10/30/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: Recently tested positive.... new
      #212392 - 10/22/06 02:18 PM

RB.. Welcome to the club my friend... There are some very well educated posters here as well as alot of good ears to vent to... Is it not kewl that you took that step to talk to your -ve friend who you found out is +ve?? Its all good. Keep putting the next foot FORWARD on this... As long as your moving forward, you cannot get all twisted and bent outa shape...

Love,

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Recently tested positive.... new
      #212624 - 10/24/06 07:15 PM

Thanks for the support. I will post after I do the counseling and have my follow-up with Infectious Disease Doctor on Monday. He'll have my follow-up numbers and counts. I'm trying to be positive (no pun intended) about this and am glad I requested the HIV test along with my physical. All my numbers for my physical came back good (except Colesteral was 221...oops). I'd rather find out now and go on meds if/when its the right time, then to find out later when it could be more serious. It's the mental part that's buggin me at the moment.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Recently tested positive.... new
      #212642 - 10/24/06 09:50 PM

i dont think that what you said was craysy at all... suffering and pain forces us to dig deep into out being and find courage, faith, hope, love, acceptence.. i can go on..basically it brings us closer to our higher power as we understand him..and we find something that no one or anything can take away.. you have hiv but it DOES NOT HAVE YOU!! and that is wat matters... i admire your strenght and wish you love and happiness from the bottom of my heart.. beautiful people like you give me hope.. GOD bless you!!!

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Recently tested positive.... new
      #212782 - 10/26/06 01:59 AM

RB, I too tested positive 4 1/2 years ago during a life insurance physical. I was devastated too and faced the fears I think we all face. I won't welcome you to the "club" though. I find that offensive. This isn't a club, but you will survive. Much like you I realized that I was confusing intimacy with short term sexual experiences. Although it may sound odd, being diagnosed HIV+ did, in a way, save my life. This harsh reality opened my eyes in much the same way. Fortunately I have access to wonderful health care and I have been able to remain non detectable since I started medication within monhs of being diagnosed. A strong support system is imperative. I have had great support from family and friends who still call me almost daily to make sure I haven't missed one dosage, or check on me when they know I have a simple cold or am feeling down in the dumps. I hope that you are empowered to share with someone your diagnosis and allow them to support you. There may be a support group for other people with HIV in your area; your doctor may be able to refer you to one. Like you my cholesterol levels have been high until recently when my regimen was changed to Truvada...the Sustiva contributes some to this, but it helps in keeping me non detectable. If you don't already have an excercise regimen then it's good to get one. Many medications change your body in ways that I wasn't ready for. Recently I have begun to excercise again, which has helped my mental health as well. Try to remember that it's not the end of the world and that you are worthy. I think that the media and society continue to dictate to us that we aren't. Know that you will find that special someone out there that you can share your life with and that it's not over. Take your time and take care of yourself. Be blessed my friend and search the spiritual side of yourself....you are going to survive this my friend, it's not the end. Together we will all survive this.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Recently tested positive.... new
      #212871 - 10/26/06 06:55 PM

Hi recently tested. There is hope, all is not lost, I was diagnosed five years ago at the age of 51 years after allowing someone in my life who I trusted, but would you believe I have just met on the poz personals, went on a lunch date for the first time, and he is crazy about me, for the first time in five years, I feel happy, we are both positive, so we are able to talk about anything and everthing. We are in love.,

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polywog
All Star

Reged: 07/30/06
Posts: 79
Loc: toronto
Re: Recently tested positive.... new
      #213027 - 10/28/06 07:53 PM

the impact of your diagnosis is dramatic - it is for everyone - to hear this news can be devestating - aids and hiv are famous for being so terrible - but sink your energy into research and learn what you are facing - the stigma with this disease is terrible, but the disease itself is survivable now - your friend you speak of will agree - i've only known for a little more than 6 months, and i still struggle with depression, disbelief and yet, my counts are still good, i have no symptoms, and yet sometimes i just feel terrible - but you will have good days - i do. counsellors help , your m.d. will help , and so will your friends. there is life to be had, and things are not over for you - please post with your progress ok - and welcome to the site

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RBW60
Newbie

Reged: 10/21/06
Posts: 4
Re: Recently tested positive.... new
      #213484 - 10/30/06 07:01 PM

Hello everyone. Again, thanks for the support. Being new to this site, I just realized that my last entry came up anonymous because I hadn't logged on. Anyway....
Two important steps happened over the past week. First, I had an intake with the Montrose Couseling Center (I live in Houston), and will hopefully get some good out of both individual couseling and group. Haven't been the happiest person... and the HIV doesn't help. :-)
Second, I had my first appointment today with my Infectious Disease Doctor. It's a group of (4) doctors but he'll be my primary. I found out that the first CD4 count taken (from labs 10 days ago) was 386. They didn't have a VL because the sample was degraded. He had a whole new set of labs taken (to check for EVERYTHING), and also gave me a flu shot. He was easy going, positive, and I think I'm in good hands. By the way, he's also running a resistence test. I think if the test comes back similar I will probably start meds, as I would rather keep my CD4 above 350. Will know the new CD4 number and VL next Monday and see the doctor in about a month for the follow-up and decisions on meds. Between now and then, it's time to focus on my HEAD... since I know my body is holding up for now :-).

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saminmanchester
Unregistered

Re: Recently tested positive.... new
      #213513 - 10/31/06 06:10 AM

hi, just been diagnosed and spent a week thinking that was it! Life over and how long did I have to wait before "it" got me. However, contacted local HIV service here in UK - they were great; no judgements, no nonsense and lots of hankies, coffee and support! Just had 2nd cd4 count (246) v/l of 70,000 (drop from 750,000) so am quietly confident that things are beginning to go my way.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Recently tested positive.... new
      #213678 - 11/02/06 04:47 PM

[quote]i dont think that what you said was craysy at all... suffering and pain forces us to dig deep into out being and find courage, faith, hope, love, acceptence.. i can go on..basically it brings us closer to our higher power as we understand him..and we find something that no one or anything can take away.. you have hiv but it DOES NOT HAVE YOU!! and that is wat matters... i admire your strenght and wish you love and happiness from the bottom of my heart.. beautiful people like you give me hope.. GOD bless you!!! [/quote] Noone said it better than that!

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Bear60
Legend

Reged: 12/21/05
Posts: 1390
Re: Recently tested positive.... new
      #213686 - 11/02/06 05:44 PM

Hi RBW
Thanks for the updates you posted. I would think its a good idea to try and keep your CD4 count above 350. But depending on the doctor and of couse your own feeling on the subject, a lot of people wait for at least two or three more blood draws to see what trend may take place in your Tcells and %. With blood draws every couple of months that means if you wait for 6 months you will be more sure of your need to take meds. I realize that you dont have viral load and % just yet but those along with your CD4 count is the total picture.
One thing about HIV.... its very slow to progress but progress it usually does...but .....not always. I am sure you are aware of the non-progressors who are HIV positive but just don't progress on to need meds. What I am saying here is that a lot of people make hasty decisions when they are diagnosed HIV positive not realizing that waiting 6 months or more to start meds might be a good idea.
I suggest that you take stock of your overall health. How healthy are you? Are you fit, eat well and always conscious of whats good for you and what isnt? Or are you like so many of us who are overweight because we dont exercise properly, eat way too much junk food and drink, smoke or do party drugs. All this is a part of taking stock of your overall condition right now.
I am just throwing this out for you to think about if you want. I hate people who preach. There is no ONE way to approach HIV and nutrition or treatment.

--------------------
6 ft tall poz bear in Philadelphia

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Recently tested positive....
      #214064 - 11/08/06 10:11 AM

Hello,
i was supposed to go for an HIV test today, but i just couldnt go through with it. I know i am at risk as i had a one night stand unprotected vaginal...

I dont have any symptoms, except lymph nodes all over my neck, but they are not huge, only 1 is actually visible. I just wondered how many people with HIV actually notice their lymph nodes? I dont mean to sound silly here, but im panicking so much. This is only the 1st time i have had unprotected sex, and its too much of a coincidence, to get all these nodes at the same time...

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Anonymous
Unregistered

in your same shoes
      #214149 - 11/09/06 07:43 PM

how i feel i am readign my own story. i was diagnosed 3 weeks ago and cant digest the news just yet. is been hard and i have spoken to few people that are positive but i dont feel any better. i am struggling to cope. I am very scared of whats coming.

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