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HIV Life >> I Just Tested Positive

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ATLdad
Unregistered

newly gay and now HIV+
      #198563 - 07/02/06 08:02 AM

I just found out this week i am infected. I am divorced from a woman and have 3 children. Everyone ive been with told me they were negative and no one climaxed in a way that would be dangerous. How did this happen??? I got real sick in Feb with flu and non-itch rash and nite sweats...i figured that was the initial exposure sign..the person i was with prior, says he isnt infected to his knowledge. But has to be him. I have three children who i share custody with, the youngest is 4. My ex and my children dont know i am gay and certainly wont know that i have this virus. I of course will be very careful with them. The guy i was dating most recently isnt calling me after learning the news. That hurts...but not unexpected. I dont expect to do much dating anymore...i dont feel like my life is over...jsut more burdened. I also feel there is a silver lining to everything and god doesnt give us anything we cant handle. I intend to keep my body strong with nutrition and exercise and my mind strong with staying as positive as I can. Any one out there who wants a support buddy, hit me back at my email MascJock_813@yahoo.com. Thanks!

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: newly gay and now HIV+ new
      #198568 - 07/02/06 09:48 AM

I can't comment on the dating part, but I will tell you to just relax around your kids. You are NO danger to them at all.

You can hug them, tickle them, kiss them, share food with them, even utensils and share drinks. I have two children now grown and gone. But they are both negative. We were just like any family. I did tell my children about my status when I felt they were old enough to understand. They were around 10 I think. I, like you did not want to tell my ex, but one of my kids did that when she was a teenager and mad at me at that moment. (Teenagers...gotta love 'em otherwise you'd kill 'em :)) It was a bit rocky, but we got through it and it sure is easier not hiding it anymore.

Anyway you sound like you have a great attitude. Don't spend too much time looking back on 'how this all happened'. It did and what's important now is just to take care of yourself. You sound like you have a great attitude. Good Luck.



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Survivor
Legend

Reged: 10/30/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: newly gay and now HIV+ new
      #198599 - 07/02/06 03:33 PM

ALTdad, welcome to TheBody.. Your are not alone. I know of many relationships such as yours that are productive and wonderful.. First things first. You are pos. Have you found a HIV DOC to start finding out how your body is reacting to the virus?? Of course letting anyone you have been "with" know,is important. It sounds like you have done this. The process is baby steps... Lets deal with one issue at a time. Right now is finding an HIV Doc that can help you. If you do not have one, contact your local ASO (Aids Service Organization) and they can help you find a doc.. Please continue to post HERE. Its going to work out, but give it time..

Love

Eric - "RatBoy"

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SA_Intellect
Guru

Reged: 03/27/06
Posts: 247
Loc: San Antonio, Texas
Re: newly gay and now HIV+ new
      #198616 - 07/02/06 08:29 PM

that sucks dad. you seem to have a good spirit though, so that will certainly be helpful. make sure you get a good infectious disease doctor who you trust and with whom you can talk candidly about your situation. it's probably best if you don't tell your ex-wife and kids until you get a handle on this thing...and then only tell them when you're ready.

i hope to get married and have kids one day, even if it means adopting but the way i see it, i'll likely never date again for the rest of my life. oh well.

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livesinadream
Regular

Reged: 06/29/06
Posts: 33
Loc: minnesota
Re: newly gay and now HIV+ new
      #198620 - 07/02/06 09:06 PM

ive been newly infected too and ive been trying to tell myself and im beliveing that all we have to hold on to is hope. Not just us hiv + ers but everyone.. All any of us has is hope for something better. hold onto that hope and everything just kinda falls into where it should be. Hold on to hope for dating, for love, for a normal life, for peace. for anything and everything.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: newly gay and now HIV+ new
      #198636 - 07/03/06 12:19 AM

how could this happen ?????? they told you they were negative.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: newly gay and now HIV+ new
      #198683 - 07/03/06 01:16 PM

Don't be discouraged by the status. Now it is rather a chronical and manageable condition than a death sentence before. Do not worried and keep a good spirit. lay back to think as if you were diagnosed liver cancer that you could only live for three months. but actually you could live much longer because you only have HIV not a liver cancer as you imaged. That will give you a very feeling about it. Life will still be bright for you !

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Bear60
Legend

Reged: 12/21/05
Posts: 1390
Re: newly gay and now HIV+ new
      #198696 - 07/03/06 03:58 PM

Hi and welcome to TheBody
if noone else has said this....its often very upsetting and stressful to try to "figure out how you became HIV positive".... What went wrong and with whom.....??
For many people its easier to just go on and deal with BEING HIV positive and reduce the stress levels in life so that you are happier and healthier.
Continue to practice safe sex.

--------------------
6 ft tall poz bear in Philadelphia

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sadface
Legend

Reged: 02/15/06
Posts: 797
Re: newly gay and now HIV+ new
      #198755 - 07/04/06 04:33 AM

I find your courage refreshing! You truly are a strong man, I admire your stregth and faith. I wish you nothing but happiness in this journey we call LIFE. We are all here for you. When you are strong or just having doubts from time to time, we will be here. Feel free to pm anytime.
Sending love your way,
SF

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: newly gay and now HIV+
      #198905 - 07/05/06 03:03 PM

What does this mean:
no one climaxed in a way that would be dangerous

If you weren't using protection then you are at risk.
It's unsafe to have unprotected sex EVEN if no one climaxes inside!

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: newly gay and now HIV+ new
      #198908 - 07/05/06 04:03 PM

Newly gay? what does that mean? You weren't gay till you became positive?

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: newly gay and now HIV+ new
      #198941 - 07/05/06 07:43 PM

how can you just say one day-i am gay? it sounds like you are choosing to be gay. gay is genetic. you are born with it. dont tell me crap that you were born str8 either. its BULL!!! if you got infected, its just as much your fault as it is his. you did not use protection. how stupid was that?

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: newly gay and now HIV+ new
      #198943 - 07/05/06 08:01 PM

Life does go on after HIV. Find a good Dr. Take good care of your health. Your kids do not need to know until you think they are ready. I am also newly positive and have a wonderful husband that takes good care of me. Hope you find a soul mate for your many years ahead!:)

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jenn
Guardian

Reged: 09/14/05
Posts: 325
Re: newly gay and now HIV+ new
      #198955 - 07/05/06 09:56 PM

For most of us, hindsight is 20/20. Ease up.

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jenn
Guardian

Reged: 09/14/05
Posts: 325
Re: newly gay and now HIV+
      #198957 - 07/05/06 09:59 PM

Nooooooo, he probably means,he only recently admitted it to himself and only recently acted upon his sexual interests in the same sex. Give him a break!

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